Sky’s the Limit
Book Two

Chapter Seven

Revelations

Jonah was still devastated after he got Sky’s email.  At least he knew Sky hadn’t willingly dumped him and that Sky still loved him, but it still hurt like hell.  Jonah began to wonder why God kept punishing him. He began to wonder if there was a God. Why would God make him this way if it was wrong to love someone as much as he loved Sky?  Is it really a sin to love someone so much? He kept asking himself those questions over and over.  What did he do in his short life to deserve all of this?  He had lost almost everyone in his life that meant anything to him: his mom dead, his dad not wanting him living with him, his sister moving away. He was hundreds of miles from his best friends; now, Sky had gone to who knows where.  What more?  He didn’t think he could stand any more. 

Margie was still there, and they talked about the email after he was able to stop crying.  She kept reassuring Jonah that none of it was his fault and that these things happen. But it didn’t make it any easier, even if he knew she was right.  She insisted that he needed to be around people.  Billy had to go to the club that afternoon, and Chip wasn’t due back for a couple of hours.  Reese wanted to stay, and Margie agreed that having someone the same age around was a good thing; besides, Reese could call if Jonah had another panic attack or if there was some other emergency. 

Jonah was actually glad Reese wanted to stay, even though he wasn’t entirely comfortable around Reese yet, worried that Reese must think him a basket case.  Jonah felt as though almost all Reese had seen were these damned emotional outbursts and breakdowns, as well as the damn broken leg. Jonah was sure Reese must think he was the most helpless, wimpy, basket case in the world.  He really thought he needed to tell Reese that he didn’t need anyone to feel sorry for him.  He didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for him.   

After Billy left, Reese came back to Jonah’s room and asked Jonah if he wanted to play video games, watch a movie or just talk. 

“Reese, I appreciate your wanting to hang around and everything, but really, I’m okay.” 

“No problem, Jonah. Besides, I was hoping I could cheer you up some.  Get your mind off of everything for a little while.” 

“Thanks, but really, I don’t think I’m very good company.  Ever since I’ve been here, all you’ve seen is the worst side of me.  I’m not like this.  I mean, I’m really not a basket case.  I don’t go around crying all the time; this panic-attack thing—well, hell I don’t know where that came from. I never had to have help just to go the bathroom before I broke my damn leg. I just don’t want everybody feeling sorry for me, dammit.” 

“Feeling sorry for you? You’re joking, right?  We’ve all had problems. Damn, Jonah, I told you about my issues.  You think it’s easy going home and finding your mom passed out drunk on the bathroom floor—like every other night?  You think it was easy burying my dad and my brother, who were also my best friends?  Feel sorry for you?  Hell, no.  You’ve got two of the greatest guys in the whole world that would do anything for you right here.  Chip and Billy love you, man.  Their whole world has revolved around you and your sister for years, even if you didn’t know it.  That wasn’t their fault.  Yeah, I know the whole story, or most of it, but dammit, and I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.” 

Jonah felt as though he had been hit upside the head with that reality stick again.  Was that it?  Was he feeling sorry for himself?  Maybe he was.  Chip and Billy had done nothing but be supportive and helpful, and so had Reese, for that matter.  They had found him good doctors and a great shrink.  They had given him a wonderful home that most guys would die for.  Maybe Reese was right.  He had lost a boyfriend. Okay, so it happens.  It still hurt like hell, but he wasn’t the first person in the world to lose a lover.  Lord knows, enough songs have been written about love lost.  Jonah decided Reese was right; Jonah realized he needed to look at what he had going for him, not look back on what’s dragging him down.  

“Then, you don’t think I’m a total loser, a basket case?” Jonah asked. 

“Hell, Jonah, I’m as big a basket case as anyone, and I don’t hang around with losers,” he said, smiling that incredibly gorgeous smile of his. 

“Maybe I do need something to get my mind off all this, but I’m really not up for video games.” 

“I know what you need.  Let’s get you in a tee shirt and some sweats; I’ll run and change, and we’ll go down to the gym.  We’ll get you started on an upper-body-workout routine.” 

“Actually, that does sound good.” 

Jonah changed, and they stopped by Reese’s apartment to let him do the same.  His mom was out somewhere, and honestly, Jonah was glad.  They went down to the gym.  Reese started Jonah on some relatively mild upper-body weight exercises on one of the machines and then spotted for him with the free weights.  Reese started his workout, too, and after about an hour, they were both getting tired and sweating pretty heavily.  Reese took his shirt off, and Jonah was somewhat overwhelmed.  Reese had beautifully defined pecs on his hairless chest and a six pack like he had only seen in magazines or TV.  He truly did look like a god.   

Reese looked over at Jonah, and started chuckling. “What? Is something wrong?” 

“No, um, not at all,” Jonah stammered. “Um, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” 

“I might have been more offended if you hadn’t,” he said, smiling at Jonah. 

“Look, don’t get the wrong idea, I was just admiring, … I mean, I would like to look like that, too,” Jonah said, still stammering. 

“That’s possible. I work out every morning before school and most evenings.  If you want to join me, I’d be happy to show you how. It just takes work.  Most of the stuff you can do even in that cast. 

“Okay, sounds like a deal.  I’d like that. It’d give me something else to do with my time till I can get started back with my karate’.” 

“Good. Workouts go faster and easier with someone to talk to. I’d like it, too.” They worked out on the various weight machines for nearly an hour until Reese said, “I think we’ve both had enough for today.  Let’s get you back upstairs.” 

When they got back to the apartment, Chip was there, frantically talking to someone on the phone.

“Thank God,” he said when he saw Jonah and Reese walk in; he told whoever it was he’d call later. 

“Jonah, I told you to let someone know when you left.” 

“I was with Reese; we were just down in the gym.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not angry, but there’s so much you don’t understand yet, Jonah. I guess it’s time for me to explain the trust and who you are.  Reese, you can stay, but if you do, you can never repeat anything you hear.  Jonah’s safety, his very life, could depend on it. I’ve known you long enough to know I can trust you.” 

“I understand, but …” 

“Just stay, Reese.  Jonah, Reese, sit.” 

They moved over to the sofa and sat.  Chip sat on the sofa opposite them and looked Jonah square in the eye, making him suddenly feel very uncomfortable. 

“Jonah, there are some things you must know.” Chip paused taking a couple of deep breaths and looking as though he wasn’t quite sure where to begin.  “When your grandfather died, he was rather wealthy.  He left a small portion of his money to your mom and me; we both gave some of ours to Billy after he turned twenty-one.  The rest he left in a trust for you and Sarah, naming your mom and me as trustees.  We were paid yearly based on a percentage of the profits made on investments we made for the trust.  At the time of his death there was around twenty-five million dollars in stocks, bonds, and cash in the trust, as well as between five million and ten million in real-estate holdings.” 

“Oh, my God,” Jonah exclaimed. “You’re telling me the trust is worth around thirty million dollars?” 

“No, Jonah. Hold on to your seat: it’s worth over ten times that now, over three hundred million.  We’ve had some almost-unbelievable good luck with stocks during the dot-com years and some great IPOs. We got out at a good time—that was your mom’s idea—and put more of the investments in commercial real estate, which is doing phenomenally well right now as well as well-performing blue chips, bonds, and mutual funds we held onto. The portfolio is very diverse. I’m hoping by the time Sarah turns twenty-five and makes her election that it will be worth a half billion, or close to it.” 

“Oh, my God,” Jonah exclaimed again as he looked over at Reese. Reese’s eyes were huge, but he just had a blank expression on his face. Reese looked over at Jonah and then back at Chip.

“Boys, no one, I repeat, no one knows that Jonah and Sarah are the sole beneficiaries of the trust or its nature, except for Billy and me, our lawyer, and the judge who handled the estate.  The will that set up the trust is locked away, and the court file and other records of the estate are sealed for your and Sarah’s safety, Jonah. It doesn’t become public until you are twenty-one.  It has been relatively easy to keep this secret, as you and Sarah don’t use the last name Tucker.  Billy and I try to stay under the radar, not call attention to ourselves, although with Billy that’s not always easy.  There are unscrupulous people out there who would do anything to get their hands on your money, Jonah, even as far as committing violent acts such as kidnapping. We’ve had some experience already.  A fool thought he could blackmail us about Billy’s sexuality. Problem was, Billy wasn’t really trying to keep it secret and didn’t care.  The guy was promptly arrested and convicted. But he was an amateur.  There are dangerous people out there, Jonah.  You can never tell anyone about what we’ve talked about here.  Your life could depend on it.  Do you understand, both of you?” 

“Yes, sir,” they both said together. 

“You now understand why Billy or I need to know your general whereabouts and who you’re with. Use your text message or leave a voice mail. Keep your cell with you at all times, even in the gym.  I’ve ordered you a Blackberry, Jonah; you’ll have it tomorrow; you can even use it for email.  I have one, too.  The building is secure, but I still need to know so I don’t worry. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Jonah said meekly.  All this hadn’t quite hit him fully yet. 

“I’m letting you know all this, Reese, so there’s some backup.  You two seem to be spending more time together and may be going to school together this fall, so I feel more comfortable when there’s another pair of eyes on him.  I know you’d never do anything to hurt our family.  You understand the trust I’m putting in you?”

Reese looked at Chip intently, his face had a very serious and thoughtful look to it. “After all you and Billy have done for me, I could never do anything to hurt you or anyone you love as much as you must love Jonah and his sister.  I understand, and you can trust me.” 

“I knew I could, Reese,” Chip said smiling at him. 

“Now, Jonah, I almost hate to bring this up, but I need to tell you where I’ve been today,” Chip said looking at Jonah. 

“Where?” he asked. 

“The letter, the one from your friend Skyler,  I noticed the envelope this morning.  It was originally mailed from somewhere here in Memphis.” 

“What!  He’s here!?”  Jonah said as he was jumping up out of his seat. 

“Calm down, Jonah; I can only tell you what I’ve found out. Sit back down; this isn’t going to be easy or pleasant.” 

Jonah sat back down. Chip continued, “I started checking all the private psychiatric hospitals—believe me with this new HIPAA law, it’s not easy—but having a best friend who’s a leading doctor in Memphis made it a little easier to get information—at least verification that he wasn’t a patient anywhere here in the city.  Then, when you got the email this afternoon, Billy called me and read it to me.  I called Margie, and she said it sounded like he might be in a residential church program she knew about: someplace called The Refuge run by an organization called Love in Action.  It’s part of a so-called ex-gay movement using something called reparative therapy, where they try to make gays straight through prayer, meditation, and Bible study or something like that.” 

“Oh, my God,” Reese said suddenly.  “I know about that place.  It’s evil and messed up. I know about a guy that was sent there for like three months.  He was so totally messed up when he came out.  He’s tried to kill himself twice.  He’s in an institution now.  MAGY and some other gay groups are planning a demonstration outside ‘Love in Action’ and the ‘The Refuge’.  The state is supposed to be investigating them.” 

“Was he there? Can we go get him?” Jonah asked anxiously, almost unable to contain himself. 

“That’s the tough part, Jonah. Apparently he was there.  He ran away this morning while on an outing to a mall.  We found that out only because they filed a police report, and I do have a friend or two with the city.  I had given them his name this morning just in case he was in the city somewhere.  They called me this evening when the report came across.  The police are looking for him, but they seem to think he has too much of a head start.  There are three major interstate highways running through here.  All he has to do is hitch a ride and he could be two hundred miles from here by now.  The police figure he’s most likely to run away from the direction of home, probably north or west, so they’re going to monitor busses and trains heading those directions as best they can tonight, but they can’t afford much manpower for runaways.” 

Jonah spent the rest of that evening trying to digest everything Chip had told him.  Reese went home shortly after Chip’s talk. Jonah was still trying to comprehend that at some point he and Sarah could be worth maybe a half a billion dollars. It was simply unbelievable.  How could Mom and Dad have kept a secret like that from him? He could see the reasoning, though. As Chip said, it was best to keep a low profile, otherwise everyone would be standing around with a hand out, or worse. How much did Sarah really know?  He tried to call her and talk, but her service said she was traveling between New York and LA; they would give her the message tomorrow. 

Then there was Sky. He was there, in the same damn city all this time, and Jonah didn’t even know it.  Now he could be anywhere.  Sky obviously didn’t want to be found.  He had deleted that email account as he had promised.  All the messages Jonah tried to send bounced right back.  Jonah knew one thing for sure: he knew Sky was going to need help.  Jonah was going to have to rely on Chip and Billy.  He had to trust them.  Then, there was Reese. He had been more than just the paid companion that Jonah had come to know originally. 

Reese had introduced him to a whole new world where gay kids could be out and be friends and support each other.  Reese had taken care of him the last couple of nights when he was at his lowest.  Reese had been here to cheer him up and talk to him.  He was sure he could call him a friend.  Obviously, Chip trusted him.  Jonah wasn’t sure, but maybe he was beginning to feel something more for him.  Jonah didn’t know what he was feeling other than that he was sure he was still in love with Sky.  He knew that.  But how could he maintain any kind of relationship when Sky obviously no longer thought they could have one.  Sky had given up on their relationship, and Jonah had no idea where Sky was or how to find him. 

The next day, Jonah was tending to his virtual classes on the computer and still struggling to digest everything that happened that weekend.  He was constantly distracted from his class work.  He did get a few minutes to chat on line with Dex, who was doing better. Dex was still going through physical therapy, which he really hated but knew was necessary. Jonah didn’t want to burden him with his problems, so he mostly just let Dex talk about whatever.  Reese came by as usual when he got out of school and was still there when Margie arrived.    

Jonah was really glad to see her.  He really felt as if he needed to talk.  Reese excused himself and headed back downstairs.  “Hi, Jonah, how’re you feeling today?” she asked, sitting across from him on the opposite sofa. 

They talked for several minutes about his week and some of the things that Chip had told him, without the details he figured she didn’t need to know.  They chatted about Jonah’s visits with Reese to the MAGY meetings some more and how he was doing with his school work.  Eventually the conversation turned to what Jonah really wanted to discuss. 

“Honestly, I’m confused,” Jonah stated flatly. 

“Confused about what?” 

“My feelings.  Chip told me a lot of things about the trust, the money, that sort of scares me. I mean, I think… no, I know it’s going to take me some time to comprehend all of it, but I know I’m going to continue to need his help and advice for years.  It’s overwhelming.  Most of all, I’m confused about my feelings for Sky.  I know I still love him, but I think I’m starting to accept that I may really never see him again, and maybe he really doesn’t want me to.  It hurts like hell, but I don’t know how much of what I’m feeling is me or the drugs you guys have me on.”   

They sat in silence for a few moments before Margie responded. “Jonah, all these feelings are absolutely normal.  Sky was your first love.  That’s always special, but the first love is seldom your last. It takes time, Jonah. Emotions are powerful things, and yours are overwhelming you right now.  Lord knows, you’ve had enough happen to you in such a short time to overwhelm you.  That’s why were giving you the medications.  They are not a permanent solution; they’re like that cast and crutch you’re using till your leg heals.  Soon we hope you won’t need them at all.  The drugs don’t hide your feelings; they’re just there to help you cope with the bad ones.” 

“Reese and I were talking.  He says he thinks I’m just feeling sorry for myself and I have no right to.  I mean I’ve had some really good things happen, too.  I could have been the one killed in that wreck, I do have two uncles who I think really do want me and love me, and now I find out I’m going to have all this money.  Honestly, I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse yet, but still . . . I’m starting to make new friends like Reese and some of the kids I met at the MAGY meeting.” 

She looked at Jonah and smiled, “Hmmm, and to think I wasted all those years in medical school learning to be a psychiatrist.  Seriously, Jonah, Reese may have a point, but some self-pity is normal.  It is good that you are counting your blessings and finding the positives.  You are fortunate that you have Chip and Billy, and believe me, they do love you and will be there for you, but you have suffered some serious losses, too.  Those just don’t go away. What’s important is how you deal with them.  Sounds to me as if you’re on the right path. Last time we talked about using your music some more.  I’ve been reviewing the music-therapy idea, and since it’s been working for you, let’s try it some more.  Is there some music that tells me what you’re feeling, either lyrically or musically?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Show me” 

Jonah got up and went to the piano.  This song had been on his mind all day.  He didn’t tell her it was on the Evanescence album that was Sky’s last gift to him.  It didn’t matter really; the song was everything Jonah was feeling.  Both the music and lyrics fit his mood.  The lyrics to My Immortal especially said what he wanted to say and what he was feeling. 

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me

I'd love to walk away
And pull myself out of the rain
But I can’t leave without you
I'd love to live without
The constant fear and endless doubt
But I can't live without you

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all, of me   

            -- My Immortal, Evanesence

After he finished the song, he broke down as usual when he used his music as a release. Jonah hadn’t realized how much he had needed to do that.  He also hadn’t heard Chip and Reese come in while he was playing.  Jonah turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  It was Reese. 

“That was beautiful,” Reese said softly to him.  

“Thanks,” Jonah said, wiping his eyes.  “You always seem to catch me at my worst. I really don’t cry all the time.” 

“I let them come on in,” Margie said. “I think you need family and friends around more than you know.  We’re done today, anyway, Jonah. I think you’re doing much better, and you have a lot of support here.  I’ll see you in a few days—sooner if you need me.”