As Saturday began, Marshall was thinking about timing. The previous evening at the pizza place had gone very well. He and David had almost ignored the others as they got to know one another, but they tried not to be obnoxious about it. David had asked his grandfather if he might come to the birthday celebration on Sunday. Despite the length of the drive between Goldendale and Portland, the older David had agreed. His grandson hadn't been smitten by many young men as he apparently was by Jim's grandson.
Tonight Marshall would have the other get-together his parents had arranged, but now he was less enthusiastic about the prospect. He thought he might be beginning something with David, although he knew he would have to talk with him about his complication.
During the day, Markie, Jamie, and Vee along with most of the parents and Jim were at Turing House preparing for the birthday dinner on Sunday. The boys were told to stay out of the way, and they hung out at Jim's place.
"So, Cousin, are you taken by David?" JT had managed the question with enough innocence to avoid provoking Marshall's anger.
"I've only just met him." His equivocation wasn't much of a denial. "I think he's interesting, and he's amazingly good looking."
Sam joined, "Oh yeah. Markie thinks he's über-hot. Great body."
"Jeeze. He's not a piece of meat."
Sam continued, "I'm just saying that if I was inclined that way …"
"Yeah, Marsh," JT added, "and you are inclined that way. You make an interesting couple — nice contrasts."
"Contrasts?"
"You know, dark and fair, blonde and mocha, confidence and awkwardness."
"You guys have lived with gay men too long, and I'm not awkward." Marshall laughed. "We had a great talk last night, and he seems nice, too. He's not full of himself. If he's interested, I'll take a chance."
JT and Sam smiled at one another. Sam said, "Interested? Hell, he was drooling. You still going through with the meeting tonight, or has he taken your mind off girls altogether?"
"Assholes. It's not a phase. It's who I am. By the way, JT, I'm still going to pound you for telling Jamie that I taught you how to kiss."
"Just checking," Sam finished. "Besides, we all taught each other."
#
North and Annie had put out some snacks including a sturgeon spread from a restaurant in Stevenson, the county seat of Skamania County west of Klickitat County, and prepared a couple of bottles of a Viognier, reminding Marshall that he wasn't to have any of the white wine. He wasn't fond of wine, so the warning wasn't really necessary. Before Marshall's visitors arrived, his parents and his grandfather walked over to Turing House.
At 7:30, a knock on the door announced the first arrival. Marshall took a deep breath and opened the door to see Adam and Eve. "Come in, guys. I told you I'd find you if I had questions."
Cassie smiled broadly and gave Marshall a warm hug and a kiss on his cheek. Marshall started to extend his hand to Brian but was pulled into the same kind of embrace and kiss that Cassie had given him. No, not a phase at all. When he'd seated them, Marshall managed a little food and drinks for them; they turned down the wine. Cassie asked, "How've you been? We still talk about dancing with you at Z."
"I'm okay. You look great. Dancing with you made me feel so at home. That's what I want to talk about when the others get here. Mom and Dad told you about the other three, right?"
Brian answered, "Yes, I'm interested in meeting them, too. I think they've carved out a little different approach than Cass and I have."
Cass and Brian talked a bit about their studies until another knock heralded the other three advisors. Marshall started at the sound on the door and then took another deep breath before opening it. The three adults he saw were nothing like he had imagined. The woman was stunningly beautiful: tall, lithe and as blond as his mother. One of the men was short and thick with a receding line of black hair; the other was taller — but not as tall as the woman — slender and pleasant if ordinary. The men looked a bit like schoolteachers and somewhat out of place with the woman.
The short, thick guy smiled, and Marshall understood how his partners would be attracted to him. "I'm John and this is Amy and Gene. We're part of your support system, I believe."
Amy brushed past him, nodding approvingly, followed by the men. Twenty minutes passed in getting everyone situated and in getting-acquainted chitchat. Finally Marshall couldn't wait any longer. "I think I have an idea about what Cassie's and Brian's relationship is like, but I'm clueless about you three."
John looked at his companions, who each nodded to him. "Your mother and father told us to answer your questions honestly. Okay, Amy and I are married to each other. Gene is married to another woman. Gene and I are bisexual and Amy is basically straight, but she understands my basic erotic tug toward other men. Obviously, I'm out to Amy, and Gene's out to his wife as well. She's fine with him and me seeing each other. Too much?"
Marshall was very interested in this arrangement. "No, no. How long have you been married, both of you?"
Gene took over. "I've been married ten years. John and Amy have been married eight years. I think our model is unusual, but it's right for us. Neither John nor I have any interest in being married to each other or any man, but we do need what I'd call the special kind of intimacy that two men can develop over time … and to be honest, the sex."
Amy continued the story. "If I wasn't okay with this arrangement, John wouldn't do it. I have to admit that I was worried in the beginning about being replaced by Gene, but experience taught me that I didn't need to worry. John's so much happier when he has the kind of relationship he has with Gene, and that's good for both of us. John's not interested in cruising — you know the term?" Marshall nodded. "He wants a stable relationship with another guy committed to his wife and who understands what that commitment means. So, the guys have primary relationships with their wives, but take care of each other as well."
Marshall sat quietly for a few minutes. "So, how did you tell Amy that you liked men, too?"
Amy took that one. "He told me when we were first seeing each other, I think about two months in. He was a little scared that I'd run, I think, but I loved his honesty, and I found the thought of him with another guy arousing. Then it was just a matter of getting the ground rules set."
Marshall asked John and Gene, "Weren't you afraid they'd leave you?"
Gene answered, "Sure, but I couldn't lie, and I couldn't do without sex with a man."
John nodded. "I loved her; I hoped; I got lucky."
"So, do you guys do threesomes or what?"
Gene answered, "No." And then laughing added, "I don't think John or I would object, but our wives aren't into that. They just want John and me to have time together."
Amy asked Cassie about her take on Brian's situation. Cassie thought for a moment and then, smiling, said, "We have the same taste in men, and, yes, Marshall, for us that means threesomes."
Brian took over. "I have a few very grateful friends. We don't have others in our bed that often, and we don't want to lose each other. It's kind of like we're the base and others have to accept that to be with us. We haven't tried to create a long-term thing with another guy as these three have, but maybe later. I think we'd have to find a single bi guy who would want that kind of commitment, but we do like variety."
Cassie thought that maybe they had confused Marshall even more rather than helping him. "Marshall, has any of this helped?"
"Yeah. I don't know. What did you guys do when you were my age?"
They all laughed, and John told the boy, "Well, I'll tell you one thing: my parents, if I had been comfortable telling them I was bi, never would have put me in the same room with the likes of us. The research I read suggested that bisexuals were people who bounced back and forth between gay and straight. When I finally made some gay friends, they told me I was gay and afraid to admit it."
"I mean, did you try to have relationships with boys and girls, and what did you tell people you were seeing?"
Brian said, "My friends actually thought I was cool, at least most of the girls. I went out with guys and girls, but until I met Cassie, I figured I'd have to toss a coin. When I was your age, almost everyone, boys and girls, was trying to find exclusive relationships, and I did a lot of coin tossing. When I met Cassie, I told her right away, and, as I recall, she said, 'That's so cool.'"
Marshall turned to Cassie, "You weren't grossed out?"
"He was interesting enough that I wanted to give him a try. If he hadn't been upfront about it, I probably would have ended it with him. It took me a week to figure out what I really felt, and that turned out to be turned on by it."
"My mom told me that some women find bisexual men attractive."
Amy jumped in, "She's right."
"When you and Brian are together with another guy, how does it work?"
Brian looked at Cassie for a moment and then told Marshall, "Full disclosure. We agreed with your parents to some ground rules for the discussion and one of them was no graphic descriptions of bedroom fun." He saw Marshall's frown. "But, I think it's okay to talk about how Cassie and I feel when we're with another guy. First, for some guys we've shared with, the experience is new, so we let the guy set the pace and control what he and I do together. Cassie, help me here."
"Without violating our agreement with your parents, I'll just say that sharing a guy with Brian is in the top two turn-ons of my life. So is holding his hand while he and the guy do their thing."
Marshall squinted as if trying to imagine what Cassie was describing. "So, you mean that you and Brian … touch the guy together?"
"Indeed we do."
After a couple of hours of discussion, Marshall's deepest impression of the five visitors was that they cared deeply about their partners, even in Brian and Cassie's case; they obviously were the more casual ones. His next impression was that his parents were right: he'd have to find his own way and probably try to figure out what love and sex with one person meant before he tried with two others. When he had mentioned the possibilities he saw with David, they had all told him to be honest but not be afraid to do what kids his age all had to do: get ready for anxiety, pain, and ecstasy.
After his new friends had shared contact information and unbounded admiration for his parents and left, Marsh, on the couch, was more settled about his situation. He would try to see what a friendship, a relationship, would bring. He was sure that relationship would start with David.
#
On Sunday morning, Sam, his eyes closed, heard his Uncle Jason's voice, "You're going to feel a little tugging when I take the sutures around the tube out. When the stitches are out, I'm going to pull the drain out. It might sting a bit."
Supine on his bed, Sam didn't open his eyes. He smiled and said, "Can't be any worse than the Foley."
JG, who was assisting Jason, laughed. "I think you're right about that."
Sam felt the tugging at the sutures that secured the drain, and then as the tube was pulled, he felt as if his lung were being pulled out. "Shit!" He had a small spasm of coughing that caused his pain to flare.
"All done. Everything is nice and clean. I'm going to put a dressing on the opening. The staples will come out next week."
Sam opened his eyes. He couldn't bend his neck enough to see the beginning of the scarring surgical wound just under his collarbone, but he could see its end. He frowned, "I'm a regular Frankenstein's monster."
His grandfather tried to comfort the boy. "With a little work, the scar won't be that noticeable. Besides, women love men who've been wounded."
Sam appreciated JG's attempt and asked, "And, how would you know that?"
As Jason finished the little procedure, JG admonished his grandson, "Gay men have women important in their lives, smartass."
"I guess." But then, as Sam thought of his fathers, he knew that Vi and Annie were important to OD and Jerry and that his dad's sisters and mother were important to him. "Yeah."
Sam sat up, his shoulder sharply reminding him of the injury. He wore the sling less regularly now, and he was trying to regain normal range of motion. Three times a day, Markie helped him with exercises prescribed by an occupational therapist. After the first session, he had jokingly told Markie that if he was going shirtless, she should, too. He remembered her answer: "In your dreams." True, but they had both by now seen each other without clothes, and Sam had been awestruck as much by Markie's enthusiasm as by her beauty.
Jerry wandered into the bedroom. "You ready for the birthday celebration tonight?"
"I think we're all ready. Is David coming?"
"Both Davids, I think." He looked to Jim.
"Yep. Apparently, his grandson bugged him until he agreed. Professor Masters was worried about horning in on our family tradition." JG smiled as he added, "I'm not sure what the attraction of a birthday party in Goldendale is for his grandson."
Sam said, "You know it's a blond attraction. Those two are basically unconscious around one another. What happened to all that bisexual crap?"
#
Summer heat was hanging on relentlessly. The birthday dinner this year was convened at Turing House with the AC blasting away against temperatures in the upper 90s.
Turing House or not, Vi was definitely in charge of the preparations. Markie and Jamie were chief assistants because the objects of the celebration, including Vee, had no jobs other than eating. From the kitchen, Vi would occasionally see the cousins enjoying themselves, and when she saw Sam, she brimmed with gratitude that he was still with them. Marshall's newfound friend, David, was deep, she thought, and strikingly beautiful. What surprised her was that David, without being asked, came into the kitchen and worked alongside the girls, cleaning dishes and utensils after they were used.
He had nicked a finger while drying a sharp knife because he was paying more attention to Marshall than to the knife. When he had reflexively put the finger in his mouth to suck away the small amount of blood, she had seen the boy and Marshall have a conversation with their eyes. Laughing to herself, she thought that thanks to her son's course in life, she had met some very attractive men.
Every year when they celebrated as they did this year, the boys felt antsy sitting while Vi and often Annie and, in this case, the girls cooked. The males in their family took preparing and cooking food seriously, but they ceded control this time to Vi and her helpers. Sam remembered his confusion at the sexual division of labor in her family when they visited Jerry's mother. His father had explained about traditional gender roles and told the boy that he thought Lucas's family had it right.
As the dinner progressed, North looked to the end of the large table where Jim sat. David Masters was at his left.
North felt the loss of his writer father acutely. Tom and Jim, Jim and Tom — somehow the presence of another man, this intruder, in proximity to Dad Squared disturbed him. He reminded himself of how childish that emotion was, but as Annie had reminded him when they had discussed Jim's date, he was still Jim's child. He mentally swept his discomfort aside because he saw that Jim liked the professor and knew that his father deserved the opportunity for real friendship with someone his age, and he was happy that the older man and his grandson had agreed to come.
His son's infatuation was another matter. Timing was indeed everything. North had said nothing about his talk with the Adam and Eve and the bisexual advisory panel that he and Annie had assembled for their son. Maybe Marshall was just taking their advice — trying to explore love and sex with one person at a time.
The family followed the tradition begun with North's and Lucas's generation of not giving big gifts, but giving a cake bereft of candles to which all the parents had given effort. The boys loved the notion of ticking off their years together.
All the cousins were fond of German chocolate cake. No birthday songs rang out before Vee took charge of cutting the cake and the male cousins distributed pieces to everyone at the table. Sam presented Jeff with his piece and hugged the man with his left arm.
After dinner, the kids agreed to wander out to one of the barns in the still warm but dry air. JT had been sure to invite Vee to go with them, but his young cousin smiled and replied, "You're kidding, right? I wouldn't go near the hormone stew you're cooking up. But, thanks for asking, JT."
The three birthday boys and Markie, David, and Jamie grabbed a couple of old blankets from the mudroom and walked out toward a small empty barn between Turing House and Vi's home. Sam and Markie and JT and Jamie, ahead of the other two, held hands as they walked. David looked to Marshall, his question clear, and Marshall reached for David's hand. As the other couples crossed into the barn, Marshall tugged on David's hand. "Let's stay out here for a while."
Marshall took David to the east side of the barn, the side facing away from the houses. On the ground was an old tree trunk with its bark stripped and its surface smooth from the many field hands that had used it as a seat over the years. The two boys sat still, holding hands, facing out to fields mostly at the end of the growing season. At nine, the sun behind the barn was just beginning to set and the shadow of the building covered them and cooled the air around them some. The silence was in a way protective because neither of them knew where to start.
Finally, David said quietly, "You were with Sam when he was shot."
"Oh yeah. This has been a scary summer."
"I guess you never figure someone our age could die."
Marshall's growing feelings for David were mixed with what he remembered of his feelings toward Armin, feelings he had submerged as the summer went on. He felt safe talking with David about Armin. "A friend staying with us died at the beginning of our summer visit here. He had cancer, and I loved him. I played guitar for him. He never got to have a boyfriend, except me, if I was that. He was so sweet and had so much pain in his life."
Then what he had least wanted to happen did; tears came. He hadn't really cried for Armin or for the lost possibilities, but crying with David seemed both an imposition and safe. Marshall didn't mention his failure to keep his promise to Armin. David got up, stepped over the log, and sat behind Marshall with his legs on either side of Marshall's. He put his arms around Marshall, his palms over Marsh's heart because he wanted to quiet the pain. He felt Marshall lean back into him, his head against David's shoulder, and weep.
When he was cried out, Marshall wiped his face with the hem of his T-shirt and sighed. "Welcome to Marshall's world. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to stay."
David leaned forward, putting his chin on Marshall's shoulder, and whispered in Marshall's left ear, "I want to know everything about you."
"Okay let's start with the fact that I'm bi, and I don't mean transitional. I will always be attracted to girls. I can't think that's something that you want to get involved with."
David reached around and turned Marshall's head. He kissed Marshall. When their lips parted, David said, "I am so happy around you. Let's talk about what you want. I know what I want."
"That's easy. I want everything."
"How about if we see what just the two of us can be? I'm not looking for the great love of my life, but I won't intentionally hurt you, I promise, and I'll always tell you the truth even if it hurts. Maybe we could both agree not to see anyone else for a while."
Marshall stood, turned, and pulled David to his feet, pulling him into an intimate embrace. He felt the rush of his reactions to their contact, physical and emotional. Now, he whispered into David's ear, "Okay."
#
On Monday morning, North and his brother were riding their horses on the edge of a field just harvested for the third cut. They were on the same road where Jeremy had confronted North and his running partner many years ago.
"I talked to Dad Squared, and he's worried. You need to talk to us."
They rode for a while longer in silence.
Lucas wasn't like his brother, and he wasn't like Jason or Jonathan. He felt crippled. Finally, he tried to do what Frank Gerard had urged him to do from their first meeting: to risk sharing himself. Lucas spoke: "I tried to find a way to tell Sam how the shooting had unleashed my deepest fear: that I'm not up to being what Sam needs in a father and might never be. But I wasn't up to saying so to him."
A silence, except for the sounds of the horses, extended until North continued, "Luke, you're not thinking of running, are you?"
Lucas gave his brother a piercing look.
"Because if you are, I'll come after you again.
"And don't think about coming up here to Turing House and hiding out, leaving Jerry and Sam in Pasadena. That's the same thing as running."