Jason was up early, his head propped on his hand and forearm as he looked at a sleeping Jonathan light softly flowing through the window into the room in which he was raised. He remembered the first day he had seen Jonathan in Portland and how quickly chemistry had bonded them. He was still amazed that he loved his husband more the longer he lived with him. Medical school wasn't easy for one person let alone for two prospective doctors at the same time, but having each other as they went through the years of school and residencies had kept them sane.
During the time Jason had focused his psychiatric training on studying their relationship, Jon had been patient and good-humored. When they were both into post-docs — and a year after Sam had been adopted and Marshall was born — they had added James Thomas to the family. JT was within months of the same age as Marshall and Sam, but because he had been adopted a year later than his cousins, the relationship between JT and the other boys wasn't quite the same as the one between Marshall and Sam.
JT, though, had never begrudged Marsh and Sam the different dynamic in their relationship. He was a generous and, for the most part, even-tempered boy who knew that his cousins loved him. North's fathers had been the experts on straight boys being raised by gay parents, and because Tom and Jason's father, Fred, had died before they knew their grandchildren, Jon and Jason had only one male mentor in that generation.
JT, for his part, didn't fare too badly for having a psychiatrist and a pediatrician as his parents. Jonathan, in addition to Board certification in pediatrics, was Board certified in pediatric emergency medicine. He had sewed up JT's minor wounds while idly chatting about human anatomy, read his x-rays, and nursed the boy through more than a few colds and fevers. Jason, who had told his son that the world of psychiatry attracted its share of disturbed practitioners, was molded by his professional mentor, Frank Gerard. Frank's guidance made certain that Jason kept his patients at the center of his work, and that his sense of humor remained intact and his ego under control. JT had learned his listening skills from Jason.
His experience with having two fathers had been akin to Sam's and Marshall's because the three boys grew up in liberal, university communities and in relative wealth. Part of JT's connection with Sam was the shared experience of gay fathers and similar family structures. JT came to understand that much of what his fathers had become was the result of Jim's and Tom's love while Tom was still alive — and, of course, Grandma Vi's love and guidance. And for his part, Jim had always let JT know that he considered the boy his grandson as much as Sam and Marshall were.
Jonathan stirred as Jason gently drew the sheet down across his chest and belly. Jason had been a football player in high school; Jon had been a reluctant runner and became an enthusiastic hiker after Jason dragged him around and onto Mt. Adams. With his index finger, Jason lightly traced the faint line of hair that ran from below his husband's navel into the close-cropped patch of hair over what he thought a perfect dick, now hard as it usually was in the morning. Jonathan sighed, and the muscles under Jason's fingers contracted and relaxed. Putting aside thoughts of the rock-climbing expedition to come, Jason lowered his head to take Jon in his mouth.
When Jonathan, happily sated and now fully awake, reciprocated, Jason briefly reflected that Jon had taught him how to make love and that Jon was the only boy or man with whom he had ever shared these experiences. After draining their bladders and unlocking the bedroom door, they put on underwear and waited for the inevitable visit. They were just dozing again when the bed jounced as their son jumped between them. "Jeez, JT, one of these mornings you're going to break us."
JT laughed. "You're not that fragile. Besides, we need to talk about the day. The mountain climbers will leave this afternoon, and we need to get Ahmed and Vince over to Stone's."
Jonathan pulled JT so that he was lying between his fathers. "I thought he wants to be called Mathew."
"When I talked to him he told me that he was named Ahmed Mathew, but Ahmed is so common that a lot of people with that first name use their second names, so he switched them. I told him I liked Ahmed, and he told me it was okay to call him that. You should probably call him Mathew."
Jonathan smiled at his son. The story of his conversation with Mathew was typical of JT: open, deeply personal, and direct.
Jason ruffled his son's hair and asked him, "What's the plan for today?"
"We need to go to Stone's to get them the right shoes. I think they brought clothes that will do."
"Sounds good. Is anybody else up yet?"
"Are you kidding? These aren't farm kids."
"Neither are you."
"No, but I'm a morning person." Then with an endearing smile, he asked his fathers, "I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"
Trying to conceal his own smile, Jonathan replied, "None of your business."
JT knew his fathers had sex — a lot of it, or at least he thought a lot. As he had become aware of his own sexual needs, he began to give the old men a little time in the mornings before he jumped onto their bed as he had every morning almost from the time he had come to live with them.
#
Mathew was awake early, as well. Sleeping soundly in strange rooms was hard for him. For that matter, sleeping in his own room wasn't easy these days. He stretched and yawned, feeling the sheet against his skin. At home, he couldn't sleep in the raw. The possibility that he might be discovered naked by his father or brother was too risky. His mother was Muslim and his father was Christian, and both were very religious.
When he understood what being gay meant and that he was gay, his revelation to his parents and older brother hadn't gone well. Although his brother constantly reminded him that, were they still in their homeland, he would have been stoned to death, here his family wasn't physically abusive. Perhaps his parents' marriage, crossing religious boundaries as it did, and the reaction of their families to that relationship had softened their hearts a little. His older brother was another story; he was deeply ashamed at having the family defiled by a gay younger brother. Mathew was worried by his brother.
In the last week, Mathew had had a chance to relax with himself. Every morning he had a leisurely session of self-pleasure before he got dressed and ready for the day. He liked the rest of the kids here, although he thought Ray was a bit weird. When he helped Vincent cook, he discovered that Vince's black clothes and dyed hair were just costumes for an ongoing performance.
Mathew had always been small for his age, but his size and athletic ability had allowed him to start gymnastics when he was four. He was secretly very proud that he had a gymnast's body, and he thought that being gay with a good body was a little easier than being average-looking.
Of course, the only gay kids he knew were the ones at SMYRC, and maybe no one had it easy. He had his mother's mocha skin and his father's grey eyes. Mathew spent his time at the Center in casual conversation and playing computer games with other kids, most of whom thought him younger than he was and behaved protectively towards him. The only deeper relationship he had developed was with Dr. Gerard, and he dearly wished that Frank were both his father and his brother.
At the knock on his door, he pulled his sheet back up, and asked, "Yes?"
JT's voice answered, "Just me. May I come in?"
Ahmed didn't think he had time to jump up and get dressed, and it didn't occur to him that he could have said no.
"Sure."
JT found him sitting up with the sheet around his waist, his knees slightly bent under the sheet. He stared at the bare upper body. Shit. He's beautiful. JT didn't feel at all strange admiring male bodies even though he firmly knew he wasn't gay, but he didn't want to make Ahmed Mathew uncomfortable. "Uhm, didn't mean to intrude. I can come back."
Ahmed Mathew thought the taller boy's awkwardness was amusing, but he noticed that JT didn't look away. Besides, he didn't mind; he thought all of the cousins were hot. "No. That's okay. What's up?"
JT walked slowly to the foot of the bed where he sat. "While the mountain climbers are getting their act together, the saner among us are going to Stone's in The Dalles to pick up climbing shoes for you and Vince. We'll leave after breakfast."
"How much do they cost? I didn't bring much money."
"Oh, on the house. Since we invited you, my dads are supplying the shoes — unless that bothers you."
"No. That's very nice of them. I'll get ready and be right down for breakfast." JT didn't move. "I'm, uh … naked under here."
"Right. Sorry." JT stood and smiled at Ahmed Mathew and then was out the door.
When the door closed, Mathew kicked the sheet off and pulled on shorts and a T-shirt so that he could get to the bathroom and return to dress for the day. As he washed up and brushed his teeth, he thought about the way JT had looked at him. He thought JT very kind and wondered if he might want a boyfriend.
#
JT's grandmother was out in one of the barns talking livestock with Rodrigo, and JT found only Vincent, who had walked over from Turing House, in the breakfast nook, drinking coffee and staring out the window toward fields of alfalfa and spring wheat. "Morning."
When JT spoke to Vince, he started. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come down."
"Ahmed will be down in a bit. We're going over to The Dalles to pick up climbing shoes for tomorrow." Remembering Ahmed Mathew's concern, JT quickly added, "My dads are picking up the tab since we're pretty much forcing you to go."
"I don't feel forced; I'm looking forward to trying it out." The statement contained a kernel of truth, but he also felt uncomfortable putting his safety in someone else's hands — in this case literally so.
As he looked at JT, he thought about the cousins he had met here. They were all younger than he, but although he wouldn't have told them, he thought them accomplished. What they did — play music, climb mountains or rocks, ride horses, work the fields — they did because they wanted to and not because their parents were pressuring them. He thought about the difference between expectation and pressure and how one could cross over to become the other. He loved that here expectation was encouragement, not judgment.
He had watched the two sets of gay parents carefully during the short stay. He was smart enough to understand that the men's behavior came from the models that their parents had provided. In comparison, he didn't have particularly good models. Because they were acutely sensitive to what their friends thought, his lower-middle-class parents were barely okay with him being gay. Still, he had a decent home and could bring friends over, even gay friends.
Maybe the way he dressed and colored his hair were causes of his parents' concern. As he grew into adolescence, he had developed a passion for throwing his differences in people's faces. When he became aware that he was gay, he learned that as long as he hid and acted straight, people treated him just as they did any other kid. When his older brother, whom he worshiped, had died, he concluded that he was going to force everyone including his parents to deal with his differences. The black clothes and the dyed hair were ways to discomfit others, to try to make them feel a little of what kids like him felt most of the time.
JT had watched Vince subside into thought and waited to interrupt the reverie. "We won't let you fall."
In truth, Vince had enjoyed being here, where his particular differences, sexuality, hair color, or black clothing, didn't seem to matter.
Before he arrived, he had decided that he wasn't going to get involved with anyone while he visited. Ray had tried to change his mind, but although tempted, he hadn't let himself be persuaded. He had learned years ago that sex was less important to him than feeling comfortable with people and being honest with them. However, if JT or one of his cousins tried with me, I might change my mind.
"How come my clothes and hair don't seem to bother any of you?"
JT laughed. "We're too polite to comment. No, we're used to hanging out with men who wear women's clothes and women who wear men's clothes. You don't even move the needle on the unusual-ometer. Your style is pretty tame."
Vince started to say something but stopped. JT answered the swallowed question, "Yes, I know how lucky I am. My family is made up of really good people — not perfect, but really good. Uncle Luke says that on the normal curve we're a few standard deviations away from the center. We're outliers."
Vince nodded, looking quizzical about standard deviations, and then suggested to JT that The Outliers would be a good name for their band.
"I like it! Let's suggest it to the others."
#
The Js and Mathew joined JT and Vince for breakfast. Most of the discussion was about the Blues Festival. The visitors peppered JT with questions about his playing and talked about how good they thought Sam and Marshall were on guitar. As they fixed ham and eggs and warmed up the cinnamon rolls that Vi had made earlier, Jonathan and Jason began to understand how much fun these two visiting boys were having making music and how much they looked forward to performing on what they thought would be a small stage in Goldendale.
North and Annie arrived for breakfast, and they guided a discussion of tomorrow's climb at Smith Rock. Of the adults, Annie and Jonathan were the strongest climbers. Jon had eclipsed North's skills over the years, although North was still a very strong climber. Jason had never developed a real passion for climbing but liked to go out with Jon when he had the chance.
"We're going to do a route on the Student Wall. The wall is rimrock basalt and very firm — good for beginners. We're going to top-rope, and you'll always have someone belaying you."
Mathew asked, "Belaying?"
"You'll always be attached to a simple rope system so that if you fall, your belayer can use the rope and a friction device to arrest the fall." She looked around the table. "Jon, North, or Jason will always belay each of the climbers. Mathew and Vince, you'll go up one at a time, and JT will climb above and beside you so you can imitate what he does. Climbing is an amazing high, but your muscles will be sore the next day. We won't let anyone get hurt."
Vince was trying to figure out the rope business. "Wait, is the belayer above us?"
"No, the belayer is on the ground at the base of the route."
"What's the rope attached to at the top?"
"I'll go up early and rig an anchor system at the top and set the climbing ropes. Some of the original anchor points in the rock are still there, but I prefer to use Juniper trees that are a ways back from the cliff face. I always set the anchor systems."
Mathew wondered about clothes. "What do we wear? I know we're getting shoes today."
"The boys usually wear comfortable shorts. You can wear a T-shirt or no shirt. In the summer JT won't wear a shirt, but that's up to you."
At least the scenery will be pleasant, Mathew thought, looking at JT.
After the boys cleaned up the breakfast dishes, Jason and Jonathan herded them into the car and began the drive across the US-97 bridge into Oregon and then west on I-84 to The Dalles. Jason parked across from Stone's, briefly recalling the time he had brought Jon here to get him outfitted for their first hike on Mt. Adams. He laughed inwardly at his now husband's reaction to the hiking shorts he had chosen then and at how the shorts with a built-in mesh supporter had allowed them easy access on the walk to the campground.
The street in front of Stone's was lightly travelled as the group made its way into the store. Jonathan thought that the store hadn't changed much since Jason had first brought him in during a break from sitting with Jason's father at the cancer center. He watched an attractive young man walk over to greet them and remembered the hot guy who had waited on him when he was fifteen. JT greeted the store worker with a hug and began chattering about the summer before remembering the purpose of the visit. He called Mathew and Vince over and introduced them to Danny who was five years older than JT.
"These guys need approach shoes, Danny."
"Smith Rock?"
"Yeah. Tomorrow."
"You don't think climbing shoes?"
"We're top-roping, not bouldering."
"Approach it is. Come over here, guys, and I'll show you a few models."
While the visitors consulted on shoes, Jonathan checked to see if they had enough sunscreen. JT said they did and that he'd be sure pack it. "Annie will have extra, anyway. Hey, what would you think of getting them some prAna shorts? It's going to be hot out there."
The boys both decided on Scarpa Crux shoes, and while they were getting them fitted, JT picked up a couple of pairs of prAna Titans, medium for Vince and small for Mathew. As the boys were finishing their shoe fittings, JT dropped the shorts by them and suggested that they try them on. He noticed that Vince seemed tired — or maybe something else was bothering him. Mathew was full of energy and apparent enthusiasm.
JT touched Vincent's shoulder before he went to try on the shorts. Mathew went into a dressing room, and JT took the seat he had vacated. "Are you all right?"
Vincent looked at the younger boy. He found that JT made him feel special. This made JT interesting in a way that his cousins weren't — simple and direct in the best way. "Sorry. When Marshall's friend died, it hit me hard. I was taken back to my brother's death two years ago. He was my protector and my best friend."
"Fuck. I've never had anyone close to me die, and Marshall only knew Armin for a week. Tell me about your brother."
"Theo was two years older. When I told him that I was gay, he wasn't surprised or unaccepting; he was genuinely happy for me. He continued teaching me to cook, helping me with homework, encouraging me in everything I did. He became a sort of measure for the kind of person I wanted to be. When people gave me grief, he reminded me to consider the source, but he wouldn't tolerate people physically bullying me. I miss him every day. I had some friends who hung out at SMYRC, and I met Dr. Gerard there. He helped me find my way after Theo died."
JT saw the older boy's eyes wet with remembered loss. "I have a much older friend whose son died when he was my age." He was careful not to mention Dr. Gerard's name, because he was a family friend who had shared the experience of his son's death in confidence. JT touched Vincent's forearm with his hand. "He told me that he's never far from the loss but that the pain has diminished over time, and the memories have become less sorrowful. I hope that happens for you. When my friend makes decisions, he asks himself if his son would have been proud of his choice. How are your parents doing?"
"Well, they were left with the gay son — not what or who they wanted."
"It must be hard not to able to share your grief with them."
Vincent smiled at JT. "You should be a shrink like your father. I'm not miserable, but seeing Marshall's pain took me back to the weeks after Theo died."
"If Theo was your model, he must have been very special. I think you'll feel close to him when we're on the wall."
Vincent sniffled, and carrying the shorts toward the dressing rooms, said, "I'll try these on."
As Vincent disappeared behind a curtain, Mathew came out wearing the new shorts. He pulled his T-shirt up and asked JT, "What do you think?"
JT admired Ahmed Mathew's belly. Straight or not, he had no qualms about admiring a good body, as he had when he had talked with the boy in the bedroom in the morning. He walked over and slid two fingers between the waistband and the boy's belly. He felt the intake of Ahmed's breath and heard a small tickle-fed giggle. JT looked at the boy squarely. "You'll outgrow them in a year, but now they're perfect."
Ahmed Mathew felt his penis begin to harden. Shit. I'm not going to get hung up on JT. He dropped the hem of his T-shirt as JT withdrew his fingers. Both boys started slightly as Vince came out of his dressing cubicle, wearing shorts. Gone was the monochrome black costume. Both Mathew and JT were amazed at the transformation that one article of clothing could produce. In the shorts, Vince looked every part the stud.
"Don't they make anything in black with a waist that hangs around my hips?" The boy's eyes were smiling.
Mathew replied, "No way. Nice!"
#
After watching the van disappear down the drive, those remaining at the farm sat on the porch. "Let's sleep in the loft tonight," JT suggested.
Jon said, "Well, thanks JT, but I think I'll use my bed tonight."
"Not you, Dad. I know you two need your privacy."
Vince and Mathew piled on, saying that they knew what the men would get up to. JT's fathers smiled at the remarks and said, "No comment. You guys have fun, but remember that we need to get an early start for Smith Rock in the morning."
The boys cleaned themselves up before Vi's outstanding dinner and afterward washed the dishes. They finished their evening ablutions and secured their sleeping clothes and bags before heading to one of the outbuildings behind the house. At the front of the barn, a ladder could be placed to a scuttle hole in the floor of the loft overhead. They dragged the bags up the ladder and turned on the Coleman propane lantern, placing it carefully in a corner. The light from the lantern mantles was a gentle yellowish glow and cast their shadows boldly on the walls. They threw open the shutters on the exterior door of the loft, and the twilight brought more light into the room. They spread their bags on the floor.
As the sun set, they lay on their bags and talked about the day ahead. Then talk turned to what they would do with their lives if they could. Vince talked about cooking for a living and maybe owning a restaurant. Mathew didn't know what he wanted to do. "What about you, JT?"
"I wanna be a drummer in a rock 'n' roll band," he sang before dissolving into laughter. "I might go into medicine. It is the family business."
Vince opined, "You're a shoe-in for med school if your grades are good. Can't hurt to have two docs for parents."
"I'm more interested in research than in practicing, though. I'd like to do something for kids like Armin."
"I gotta say," Vince told JT, "you're not a spoiled kid; none of you are."
"Thanks, I think."
"No, I mean you're adopted and all." Vince thought about how that sounded. "I mean you don't act entitled. I'll just be quiet before I get my foot farther into my mouth."
"If you want to feel real ordinary, hang out with my Grampa or Uncle Luke and Jerry or my dads."
"You and your cousins are as bright as any of them — well maybe not as much as your Uncle Luke."
"One of the best things about growing up in our family is that none of us feel competitive with our parents. We know they want us to make whatever we want of ourselves. I think they feel that way about you, too."
Mathew was confused. "How could they feel that way about us? They don't know us."
"They know what they need to about you."
The sun had set now, and the boys became quiet until Vince asked JT, "How long have you been rock climbing?"
"I first went when I was six. Aunt Annie and Uncle North took Marsh and Sam and me. They started us out bouldering on small problems. We probably fell onto the mats a million times in the first couple of years. Then we graduated to sport climbing on ropes and eventually free climbing."
Mathew asked, "You fell a million times?"
"Yeah — usually about ten or twelve feet onto bouldering mats. We bounced like Silly Putty, but we became fearless without becoming reckless."
Vince added, "I hope we don't fall tomorrow."
"You probably will, but you won't have any fatal sudden stops at the ground. The parents will keep you up. Falling on belay is really a special kind of freedom. You'll love it; it's Peter Pan flying."
JT's comment reminded them of Sam's parting remark as the soon-to-be mountain climbers crossed paths on their way to Mt. Adams with the soon-to-be rock climbers. The mountain climbers had taken a few good-natured jibes at the rock climbers, saying that they would try to look for them the next day from the summit.
In a loud stage whisper, Sam had reminded the mountain climbers, "If you fall, you pick yourself up; if they fall, all that's between them and a sudden stop is their belayers."
Vince yawned, spreading yawning to the others almost as a contagion.
Mathew looked at the other boys and declared, "I'm sleeping in the raw."
As JT and Vince watched, Mathew began to strip. Vince looked at JT, who shrugged, and they both joined their smaller companion in disrobing. Before they lay atop their bags, they each took a good look at the others. Mathew was just as JT had imagined: everything tight and in proportion. Vince was a surprise. When JT had seen the boy in shorts in The Dalles, he thought Vince had strong legs, usually hidden by the black jeans, and now he saw that Vince was beautiful, but not in an overly muscular way. JT and his cousins had watched each other grow into adolescence and played their share of show and tell, and they were all about the same size — everywhere. Vince had a larger dick than JT had seen on any boy close to his age; he was impressed as was Mathew in the way boys are impressed by such things.
Mathew laughed at JT. "Take a picture …"
JT asked the smallest member of the trio, "Are you embarrassed when you strip and people look at you?"
"No, but I don't do it very often – temptation, you know," he said, referring to his religious upbringing. "Besides, straight boys aren't supposed to notice other guys."
"My father says that straight boys who are ashamed of admiring other boys' bodies are insecure about their sexuality. I'm not insecure about mine."
Vincent laughed now. "All right, JT! Good for you."
#
Vince was the first awake, shivering a bit in the morning chill. He had slept atop his bag and now slipped inside to warm up a bit. When he was settled, he looked at his companions in the loft. For him, friendship was difficult. He thought about the time it took before he felt comfortable talking with any other new acquaintance about anything important to him. He had revealed more of himself to the relative strangers here in a few days than he had to kids he'd known for years.
Maybe, he thought, that's what's supposed to happen out here. JT and his cousins had been easy to talk to and willing to share things that boys didn't usually share with each other until they had known each other a long time. Then he thought about Armin and how Marshall had dealt with his death — how willing he had been to accept support from all of them. He had talked with JT more than he had with anyone else about Theo's death and how it affected him.
He knew that the clothes he usually wore were a costume and that he had cultivated an attitude that kept people at a distance. When he had arrived he began to project the same attitude here, but now he decided he didn't want to. He thought that his experience of people here was more interesting than the disconnection from people that he maintained in Portland.
Vince came out of his musing and looked over to see Mathew staring at him.
"Where were you?" the smaller boy whispered.
"Just thinking," Vince whispered back.
"I'm awake. You don't have to whisper on my account." JT added, "We should probably get up and see about breakfast." He got out of his bag and stood up naked with his morning wood quite evident. When he saw Mathew staring, he joked, "Take a picture."
Mathew blushed, and Vincent laughed. JT pulled on his sneakers and picked up his clothes before heading to the ladder. Vince thought JT full of surprises. "Let me guess. We're going to streak into the house. What about your grandmother?"
JT paused on the ladder with only his shoulders and head above the scuttle hole. "Of course — unless you guys are chicken. Who's going to see us this early in the morning, anyway? My grandma is out on the back forty by now, but she's seen us naked at the hot springs, so four more balls wouldn't bother her."
Mathew and Vince decided to go along and gathered their things before moving to the ladder. Waiting for Vince on the barn floor, Mathew looked down at his mid-section and remarked to JT, "It's cold. I think I've disappeared."
"Trust me. You haven't."
When Vince had scrambled down and joined them, Mathew said, "He doesn't have enough room inside of him to hide that."
Vince playfully scowled at Mathew, "Size isn't everything, you know."
As JT led them across the ground to the house, Rodrigo came around one of the other out buildings and began laughing. Vince and Mathew had nowhere to hide, but tried to hold their clothing in front of them.
Rodrigo shouted, "Made my day!" before going about his work.
Vince said, "Apparently he's not insecure about his sexuality, either."
JT laughed because he could have predicted that they'd be seen by some of the hands and replied, "No, he's gay."
As they entered the house through the back door and went on through the mudroom, moving quietly in the early morning, they heard Jason say to Jonathan, who was cooking in the kitchen, "Now, this takes me back."
Jon said, "Remember when we couldn't keep clothes on any of them?"
Vince and Mathew ran to their rooms and threw on shorts and T-shirts before joining everyone in the dining room. A few minutes later, North joined them, and they all ate as the Js filled North in on encountering naked boys a bit earlier. By then, Vince and Mathew were over the embarrassment and could laugh along with the adults.
"Where's Annie?" Mathew asked.
JT swallowed a mouthful of cereal and replied, "She's already headed out to set up the anchoring system."
After the boys cleaned up the breakfast dishes, they changed into climbing gear and helped pack the Tribeca with a bewildering assortment of ropes, hardware, and strapping. Since they wouldn't have far to walk from the parking area at Smith Rock, the boys wore their new approach shoes.
#
The drive took them down US-97 to Terrebonne and then to Smith Rock State Park. A bright summer Friday contributed to the nearly full, main parking area. North parked in the day-parking area.
They were out early in the morning because the crags faced west and would mostly be in shade until later in the morning. In August, the rock face is usually too hot to climb in the afternoon.
They grabbed the gear and hiked along a secondary trail from the Field Station, with the Crooked River to their right. They waded across the shallow river and reached the columnar basalt of the Student Wall where they found two ends of each of three climbing ropes already at the base of the crag. Vincent and Mathew looked up the sheer wall eighty-five feet to its top where Annie was waving. They looked at each other and shook their heads. "Don't worry, guys. You'll be fine." This reassurance from JT wasn't all that helpful.
North and Jonathan took the boys through the basics of how to use figure-eight knots and locking carabiners to attach the running end of the climbing ropes to their harnesses. The men knew that giving the boys too much time to think about the climb was a bad idea, and after fitting their helmets and checking the harnesses, Jon told his son, "Up you go just to show them the commands."
JT attached his climbing rope, and his father took a bite on the standing end of the rope, pulling it through an ATC belaying device before attaching the device to his own harness. Then, his father took up all the slack in the rope until JT felt a tug and called "That's me."
JT then asked, "Belay on?"
Jon said, "Belay on."
JT replied, "Climbing?" to which Jon responded, "Climb."
JT began to scale the crag, finding foot and handholds where he could. Jon took up slack in the standing end of the rope as JT climbed about fifteen feet where he stopped and called down to his father, "Tension!"
Jon tightened the slack even more and when JT made his next move, he called, "Falling!"
JT slipped away from the rock face and the rope stretched slightly, taking up his weight. Jon locked the rope in the belaying device and then allowed his son's weight to take him off his feet slightly so that the fall wasn't so abrupt. Vince's and Mathew's pulse rate shot up watching the fall. JT was now almost free in the air with his hands outstretched. "Peter Pan!" he screamed with a huge smile before regaining hand holds on the rock and telling his father, "Slack."
The boy almost glided down the rock as his father fed him slack from the standing end of the rope. Bouncing down beside his friends, JT told them, "Is that bitching, or what? That's all there is to it."
"Okay," North asked, "who's up next?"
Mathew and Vince both answered at the same time. Something in JT's comment had reassured them. North said, "Rock, paper, scissors."
Mathew won and was up next. Vince tried not to look disappointed. Jason said, "How about we put JT in the middle and let both the others go at the same time?"
Vince brightened and looked full of hope at Jon. "Sure. You okay with that, son?"
"No doubt."
They all got attached, and before JT started up again, Jon reminded the boys, "With three of you climbing, it's important to use names when you give commands. The belayers will use the climbers' names and vice-versa. All right?"
Everyone nodded, and JT took off his shirt before beginning. The other boys followed suit. JT asked North for sunscreen and squirted the white, gooey stuff onto his and the other boys' hands. He slathered the stuff on where he could reach and then put more on his and the other boys' hands. He turned so that Mathew could do his backside while he did Vince's and Vince did Mathew's. He smiled as he felt Mathew's hands move over his back and the backs of his legs. They finished each other up, and JT couldn't help but notice the slight swelling in his companions' shorts. He smiled at Mathew and raised his eyebrows.
Jon shouted, "JT, belay on." JT responded, "Climbing." The others repeated the commands, and as JT climbed above the newbies, they scrambled to find hand and footholds. Vince and Mathew knew that JT was climbing slowly so that they could watch him.
Vince was surprised at the ease of finding crevices for his feet and hands. In no time, Vince and Mathew were thirty feet up, and JT stopped to let the others catch him. When they were beside him, he told them, "Follow me. Dad, Tension!"
The others gave the same call to their belayers. JT reminded them, "Keep your feet toward the rock and try not to twist." Then before the others had too much time to think, JT shouted, "Dad, falling!"
Vince and Mathew watched JT fall to a little below them, and they both quickly gave the command and let go. With skilled belayers, the arrest of the falls was fairly gentle, and all three boys were essentially abreast.
When he was sure that both new climbers had their toes on the rock, JT told them, "Lean back and look around." For both the new climbers, the struggle between fear and exhilaration began, and finally exhilaration won the day. They all called as one, "Peter Pan!" Vince added, "… and Theo!" to the exclamation.
As they climbed, several groups of hikers on the trail on the other side of the river stopped to look at them, and more than a couple of girls shouted their appreciation to the shirtless boys. Vince and Mathew told JT, "They must be talking to you." But when a couple of guys on their way to climb another formation screamed, "Looking good," both Vince and Mathew turned, released a hand and waved. JT said "See, everyone appreciates a nice bod."
Stopping occasionally to rest weary hands and legs and with two or three unintentional falls among them, they took another hour to reach the top. Just before they stepped onto the top of the basalt formation, they looked down at their belayers nearly a hundred feet below and then out to the surrounding landscape. On other walls around the park, they saw other groups climbing.
Annie looked down at them and asked, "Come up or climb down on belay?"
JT waited until both of his friends said "Down on belay."
They practiced the "Slack!" command. When they reached the bottom, Mathew had a skinned knee from a fall in which he couldn't keep his feet into the rock and Vince's fingers were a bit raw. At the bottom each of the belayers called, "Belay off."
When they unfastened their climbing ropes, Vince and Mathew unselfconsciously hugged each other, JT, and their belayers.
Jon looked them over and told them, "You can climb in my party anytime."
Annie disassembled the anchor system, stowed its parts in the Forester and drove down a BLM road to Smith Rock Way and on to the Terrebonne Depot to meet everyone for lunch. She'd gotten there before the others and managed a table for seven. She loved the sight of the others trooping in, the boys in T-shirts now and acting as if they'd scaled the Matterhorn.
Lunch passed with the boys recounting their joy and their falls. They seemed to revel in having put their bodies to a new test and passing. Annie was particularly pleased that Vincent seemed a different person, much less guarded. Mathew was as he had been since the beginning of the visit, sweet and transparent. She knew that the rock climbers and the mountain climbers would get together, and she hoped that each group would appreciate the other's experience.
She looked at her husband. Damn, North, you're still as beautiful as ever. Thanks, Jim and Tom even though you're not here. In the back of her mind, however, was a desperate need to see her son; she wondered if she would ever be forgiven — if the mountain had spoken to him and assuaged his resentment.