“Good morning, Sean. How is it going?”
“Good, Alex, thanks. You’re sounding like you’re in a better frame of mind today.”
After getting a good night’s sleep, Alex was indeed in a better frame of mind. Formulating at least the start of a game plan with Sean the previous evening had helped to settle some of the turbulence that had been roiling through Alex’s mind the day before. Alex remained extremely anxious, however. He’d been waiting all morning for Sean’s call and answered almost immediately.
“Oh, gosh, yes, much better. Thank you so much.”
Sean laughed. “Don’t thank me so fast, Alex. I haven’t accomplished anything yet.”
“Just knowing something is happening really has helped to calm me down, Sean.”
“Okay,” replied Sean, “I spoke with a couple lawyers in my office about your situation, and we’re coming up with a game plan. I still need to make a few calls yet, so don’t get too excited. I wanted to touch base with you, though, so you know I haven’t forgotten you.”
“I may be anxious,” said Alex, “but I don’t think it would cross my mind that you’d forgotten about me.”
“I do have a request of you, though, Alex.”
“What is it?” he queried.
“I’m putting together a list of questions for you. I’m going to email it to you, if not by the end of the day today, tomorrow morning. I’d like you to look through the questions and answer them honestly and as best you can.”
“Okay, I can do that,” Alex replied.
“In the meantime,” said Sean, “have you talked to Robbie?”
“Yes, I talked to him this morning and gave him a quick rundown of what happened yesterday. I’m meeting him for lunch.”
-----
“Hey, Alex.”
Alex looked up when he heard his name. “Hi, Robbie. Thanks for meeting me.” He rose from his chair as Robbie approached. The two hugged as Alex said, “I’m glad you were able to get away.”
As they broke their embrace, Alex asked, “You don’t mind eating on the patio, do you?”
“Not at all,” Robbie replied. “It’s a beautiful day for it.”
As they sat, Robbie commented, “Getting away for me is no problem. I guess I’m considered a gig worker. I freelance my computer game development skills. The nice part about that is that I can work on my own schedule, so I can ‘get away’ from time to time. Granted, there are quite a few drawbacks, as well. I have no employer-provided health insurance, so I’m still on my parents’ health plan. No 401K or retirement plan, either. And currently, there’s quite a bit of downsizing in the computer game industry, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to be cut loose from my current job in the not-too-distant future. I may actually go to college if that happens, and that’s something I never thought I’d do.”
The two made small talk as they studied their menus. Once their orders had been placed, however, they began to talk in earnest. Robbie asked a few questions, then explained some of the ideas he’d come up with for gathering information. Robbie asked Alex to check his work email on his mobile phone. They were both surprised that Alex still had access. “They really don’t know how to fire people,” commented Robbie. “There’s no way that you still should have access to your email.”
Alex was surprised when Robbie very matter-of-factly stated that “It would be easy for me to hack into your employer’s computer network.” It turned out that Robbie had some experience with computer hacking. “I had to compare my grades in high school with the other students. How else was I going to do that?” While Robbie admitted that he could cause all sorts of havoc for Scribner & Associates, they concluded that such things would be counterproductive. If his employer found out, any chance that Alex might get his job back would be out the window, and Robbie could be in a world of trouble. Robbie assured Alex that they’d avoid snooping on the Scribner & Associates computer network…at least for now.
As they finished their meals, their conversation turned to other topics.
“So, Alex,” asked Robbie, “Jesse is okay that you were meeting me for lunch?”
“He knew I was going to speak with you today and very possibly get together with you to discuss my work situation, so I really don’t think he’ll have a problem with it. I hadn’t told him I was going to meet you for lunch, but that’s just because I haven’t spoken with him yet today.”
“Okay,” Robbie replied. “I was just a little worried after our weekend activities. Even though we’d set out some rules, we were still taking a chance that one of us might become jealous.”
Alex smiled and nodded before saying, “I’ve got no doubt Jesse isn’t bothered that we’re meeting up. I mean, you’re helping me out here.” He then added, “Helping me out with my work issues. Not helping me out in another way.”
Robbie chuckled. He then asked, “you’re still okay with what we did over the weekend, right?”
“Robbie, I am totally okay with it, and I know Jesse is, too. I told Jesse when we got back to town on Monday that I really couldn't believe how right you were.”
“How so?”
“How you said that you viewed our coupling as a bonding exercise. I really wasn’t expecting to feel that way, but I do. And the weird thing is, I don’t just feel that way about you, but about Andrew, too. Maybe even more so.”
“Alex, I think you feeling closer to Andrew makes perfect sense.”
Alex’s only response was a questioning look. Robbie saw the confusion on Alex’s face, so he explained, “Look at it this way, Alex. I essentially shared my body with you. It makes sense to feel closer to me, because we were, literally, close to one another, right? But while I was giving you pleasure, I was receiving it right back. I got something in return. But Andrew shared his partner with you. He didn’t get anything in return. He trusted you with me. How can there not be a bond that wasn’t there before?”
“Interesting,” commented Alex before continuing. “You guys didn’t have any issues afterwards, did you?”
“Not a one,” replied Robbie, who then added, “Andrew told me how much Jesse enjoyed watching you and me. I guess he was quite distracted.”
“Really?” said Alex. “I knew he was watching as I undressed you, but I didn’t know he’d continued to watch. He never mentioned to me afterwards that he’d been distracted.” After a brief silence, Alex added, “I still can’t believe you were so willing to do what we did with someone so much older than you.”
“Alex, if you were someone I didn’t know and the opportunity came up to have sex with you, I’ll admit I probably would’ve declined. But I know you, Alex, and really, I don’t think of you in terms of age. I guess I have a thing for older men.”
“You’re a better man than me, because I if I were 20 and the chance to go to bed with a 55-year-old man arose, I would’ve definitely turned down the opportunity.”
“Would you be interested in doing it again?” Robbie asked.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes, I would definitely do it again, if the time was right and we were all in agreement. To be honest, I’m surprised we didn’t have a repeat over the weekend.”
“Well, Alex, we did openly fool around with our own significant others Saturday night, and that coupling was also something that I’d initially suggested on Saturday morning. And we were all so worn-out Sunday night. I was having a hard time staying awake.”
Alex laughed. “Having trouble staying awake? You were out like a light within five minutes of getting back to the room.”
“Yeah, I did fall asleep with all my clothes on, didn’t I?”
Alex smiled in return, then asked, “Just out of curiosity, if I hadn’t said, you know, sex, umm, was off the table, would it have been considered?”
“Alex, a couple things. First, you can say anal sex, you know. I won’t be offended. Quite honestly, I won’t be offended if you call if fucking. And sure, Andrew and I would’ve been okay with it. It was totally fine that we didn’t, though. Maybe it was for the best, at least for our first time.”
“So, you do think there’s going to be a next time?” asked Alex.
“If the four of us enjoyed it, and I’m pretty sure we all did, then, why not? I don’t think we’ll be doing it all the time.” After a few seconds of silence, Robbie added, “I think it’s kind of, I don’t know, progressive to think we’ve got a primary partner and a couple secondary partners. Progressive isn’t really the word I’m looking for.”
“How about non-traditional?”
Robbie smiled. “Yeah, let’s go with non-traditional. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it wasn’t something that generally fits into typical heteronormative culture. You know, sow your wild oats early, because once you’re coupled with your permanent partner, you can never do anything sexual with any other person ever.”
“I get it,” Alex commented. “I certainly felt that’s the way things should be, even though I didn’t always practice what I preached.”
Robbie gave Alex a quizzical look.
“When Andrew said that you and he didn’t think I’d had much experience besides Jesse, you were wrong. I hooked up with other guys more than I care to admit, mostly when I was married.”
Robbie raised his eyebrows at Alex’s words but remained silent.
Alex cleared his throat, then continued, “When we do it again, I think it might be best to switch up partners. Not that I wouldn’t be interested in, ah, messing around with you again, because I would.” Robbie smiled as he nodded in agreement. Alex added, “You know, just because I like uncircumcised penises doesn’t mean I dislike circumcised ones.”
The two chuckled before falling silent. Alex took a drink of iced tea as Robbie pushed the last of his food around on his plate with a fork. Alex then said, “Robbie, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Alex.”
“Well, please don’t take this wrong. When I first met you, I really thought you were a bit, uh…”
“Dim?” asked Robbie.
Alex’s face reddened as he nodded his head, nearly imperceptibly.
Robbie laughed. “It’s okay, Alex, you’re not wrong.”
“It’s just that, well, I mentioned something to Jesse about it awhile back, and he was all over me, telling me to ‘not judge a book by its cover.’ I was really surprised by his response, but then he told me how you were such a whiz with computers. And I must admit, I found it hard to believe. I am sorry about that.”
“No need to apologize, Alex. You’re totally right.”
“Well, I guess I’d just like to understand why.”
Robbie turned his head questioningly. “What?” he asked. “Why it seems like I’m not the brightest bulb in the box?”
“That was the first impression I got, Robbie. And I thought that for quite a while. Now that I know you better, and have interacted with you one-on-one, or just the two of us plus Andrew and Jesse, well, it’s quite clear that you are extremely intelligent. So, yeah, I do need to apologize.”
“It’s okay, Alex, because like I said, you’re right. Why am I like that? I really have no idea. It’s when I’m in larger groups or meeting new people. I’ve just never been good with being in a large group setting for whatever reason. As for why my IQ suddenly drops 40 points, I don’t know. I’ve been this way as long as I can remember.”
“Well, Robbie, maybe that’s just something we have in common. My nerves can really overwhelm me in social situations like meeting new people, too. I know I can say some dumb things, as well, I guess, in those kinds of settings.” He grimaced as he thought back to his first outing with the men’s group, and how more than once that afternoon he’d regretted saying something he thought was stupid.
“Maybe a few dumb things, Alex, but you still don’t sound as airheaded as I do. You’re probably better than me in lots of things, but I’ve got dumb blonde down to an art form.”
-----
On Saturday, Sean invited Jesse and Alex over for what he termed a “working picnic.” A little unsure of what Sean meant, Alex and Jesse arrived at Sean’s house in the middle of the afternoon, Alex carrying a bottle of wine. After Sean hugged both Jesse and Alex, he invited them through the house to the deck overlooking his back yard. An assortment of cheese, sausage, and crackers, garnished with grapes and strawberries, was set out on a glass-topped table, shaded from the warm sun by a large umbrella.
“Sit down and make yourselves comfortable. I’m going to put this bottle of wine in the fridge to chill it a little. I’ve got another bottle of wine ready to go, so I’ll bring that out along with three wine glasses.”
“So, this is what you term a picnic?” asked Alex as Sean stepped back through the patio doors and onto the deck.
Sean smiled. “It seemed easier to call it that than, ‘come over for some wine and charcuterie on the deck while we discuss Alex’s work issues’.” After setting the three wine glasses down on the table, he added as he began to pour, “I thought it was just too beautiful today to sit inside. Memorial Day weekend is one of my favorite times of the year. Summer is just beginning. Everything is green. Leaves are on the trees, flowers are blooming, the cold winter is behind us, but it’s not oppressively hot like it can get in July and August.”
After Sean sat down, he commented, “You left out one word, though, Alex.”
Alex looked at Sean quizzically. Jesse then commented, “I think he means the word ‘working’ in the term ‘working picnic,’ Alex.”
Sean pointed at Jesse and nodded his head as he took a sip from his wine glass. Putting the glass down, he said, “Listen to Jesse. Your better half knows what’s up.”
“Well, what is up?” asked Alex.
“I just want to fill you in on what I’ve been up to this week and discuss what are next steps will be. Seeing your corporate office is in Minnesota, I had to do some additional checking, both with the State and with a friend I went to law school with who practices up in Rochester, to make sure I understand how things work up there. It turns out, pretty much like they do in Iowa.
“Here’s what I propose we do. First, I’d like to put Peter Scribner in the hot seat. I’m planning on…”
Just then, Alex felt his mobile phone vibrate. He pulled his phone from his pocket to see who was calling. It was a call that he’d been waiting for. Alex rose from his seat, saying as he did so, “I’m sorry, but this is a call I’ve been expecting. And it relates to what we’re discussing here, at least tangentially. Excuse me, please.”
He answered the call as he stepped away from the table. “Hi, Carrie, how are you today?”
“Hi, Alex. I’m fine. You sound quite a bit better than when I talked to you last. Is now a good time to talk?”
“Absolutely, Carrie. What’s the word at Scribner?”
“It’s been one crazy week, Alex, let me tell you. First, you asked me to let you know if Judy and Jenny would try to pass off reports they’d written with your name down as the author. The answer is ‘yes.’ How many reports were you trying to push out the door for Blue Mountain Group this week?”
“Let me think…six. I was working on six sites for them. They were all due at 5 pm Friday Pacific time, so 7 o’clock here.”
“Well, obviously, things were off in the office this week with you gone. But yesterday was when things got interesting. A little before noon Jenny comes up to me with six reports, dumps them on the desk next to me, and says ‘these need to go out today.’ I said to her, ‘It would’ve been nice to bring them up to me one at a time, so I could’ve gotten started on them earlier, and maybe had a chance to have them done by 5 pm.’ I was not a happy camper, Alex.”
Alex chuckled. “I should say not.”
“Jenny’s only response was a dirty look, so some things were just as usual yesterday, too, I guess. Anyway, I put aside what I was working on and began to work on the top report in the stack. I opened the word document on my computer, and sure enough, it was just like you thought would happen. Your name was on the report. They’d even put in your signature.”
“So, what did you do?” asked Alex.
“Well, I thought for a minute or two about how I’d like to proceed. I almost called Jenny about it but decided to go over her head and ask Judy, even though I knew I would get my head bit off. And, sure enough, her patronizing response was, if I remember correctly, ‘Alex’s name is supposed to be on the reports, Carrie. You’re only a secretary. We pay you to put together reports, not to read them, so do your job and let the professionals do theirs.’ Then she hung up on me.”
“I bet that went over well, huh?”
“Alex, I pretty much knew what the answer was going to be. I just wanted to hear her say it. So, I called her right back and said, “You cut me off before I could finish, Judy. There is no way these are going to be done by 5 pm. She said, ‘Blue Mountain Group is in California. You’ve got until 7 pm to finish them.’ I replied, “There is no way these are going to be done by 7 pm.’ She just said, ‘figure it out,’ then hung up on me again.”
“She’s a born leader, isn’t she?” Alex smirked.
“She’s a bitch is what she is, Alex,” came Carrie’s quick response. She then continued, “So, I start going through the first report to do finishing work, you know, make sure things are paginated correctly, appropriate spacing, no dangling headers, that kind of stuff, and, well, I may not be a professional, but you didn’t have to be to see how bad this report was. There were things that were obviously missing, and whole sections left over from previous reports, and on and on.”
“I know you know what’s going on, Carrie. You catch my mistakes all the time.”
“You’ve got an occasional oversight or misspelling or whatever. These were absolute blunders, Alex.”
Alex laughed in response.
“So, Alex, I had just been told I wasn’t a professional, but just a secretary, so I made no changes whatsoever. I got the first report back to Jenny about, oh, 1:30 or so. She emails it to Blue Mountain promptly. I wasn’t even halfway through the second report when I answered a call.”
“From Blue Mountain Group?”
“You already know where this is going, don’t you?” replied Carrie.
“Yes, but I’d still like to hear it.”
Carrie giggled. “Okay, I answer the call, and yes, it’s Blue Mountain Group, and it’s obvious that the guy on the line, ah, what’s his name, again?”
“Phil Bowers?” asked Alex.
“Yes, it’s Phil Bowers, and he demands to speak to you. And, in the sweetest way possible, I say to him, ‘I’m sorry, but Alex isn’t here.’ And he insists you must be, because you’ve just sent him one report, and you’ve got five more to issue by the end of the day.”
“Just to be clear, Carrie, you told him I wasn’t there, and not that I no longer worked there?”
“Yes, I thought it might be fun to not reveal that bit of information quite yet.”
“Excellent, Carrie, excellent. Go on.”
“So, he asks to speak to your supervisor. It just so happens that Judy is walking by the front desk on her way to her office right then. So, I say to her, ‘The call is for you,’ but I didn’t say who it was. And she says, to transfer it to her office. So, she walks in her office, doesn’t close the door, and answers the phone on speaker.”
“Oh, man, I bet you heard every word.”
“Every single one, though they were sometimes muffled. And for some unknown reason, she left the phone on speaker for the entire call, so I got to hear how very unhappy he was.”
“She was shell-shocked, Carrie. Phil is a great guy if you’re on his side. If you aren’t, though, look out. He’ll chew you up and spit you out.”
“And that’s exactly what happened to Judy. I don’t think she even managed to get out a full sentence. Between just sputtering, looking for words, and being on the receiving end of Mr. Bowers’ wrath, I had all I could do to not laugh out loud.”
“So, what happened then?”
“Well, I couldn’t understand everything that was said by Mr. Bowers, but he was going on and on about what a piece of crap the report was. ‘Not worthy of using as toilet paper,’ I heard him say at one point. When the conversation ended, or, more accurately, when Mr. Bowers slammed the phone down, there was silence in Judy’s office for several minutes. After a while, she called me and asked me to send Jenny to her office. Why she couldn’t call Jenny’s office directly, I don’t know. Then she came out of her office, and, get this, told me I was free start the weekend early. I thanked her profusely. I mean, probably over the top a little, but…anyway, Jenny walked into Judy’s office and closed the door. I tried to listen in, but I couldn’t make out what they were talking about. I lingered about for as long as I felt I could without looking suspicious, but eventually I packed up and went home.”
“Oh, my God, Carrie, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all week.”
“It made my week as well, Alex. Here’s something else weird, too. I don’t know if you realized it, but on Tuesday morning, Judy, Jenny, you, and I were the only ones in the office. Judy’d arranged for the others to be out of the office on Tuesday. It was as if she didn’t want anyone to know you were getting fired. And Judy gave me very clear instructions. We were to keep your office looking like you still worked there, just that you were out in the field, with the lights off and the blinds pulled shut. She had me leave your nameplate on the door. She even instructed me to leave your computer on. And then, she told me not to say a word to anyone about your dismissal.”
“Carrie, this keeps getting weirder and weirder all the time, doesn’t it?”
“I know. And so far, it’s worked, I guess. You’re out of the office so frequently that you haven’t been missed. But eventually someone is going to catch on that you haven’t been around.”
“I wonder how long it will take before someone notices I’m missing.”
“I wonder how long it will be before the shit hits the fan in Minneapolis.”
Posted 26 February 2025