Second Chances

Chapter 21

Two full weeks of the new year had come and gone. Charlotte was back in Minnesota. Cam’s winter break was coming to an end. He’d be heading back to Decorah on Sunday. On Thursday night, Alex asked Cam if he’d like to join him, Jesse, and some of his other friends at The Ranch for karaoke night the following evening. He was happy when Cameron had agreed to go.

Alex had come home from work on Friday to find Cam ready to head to The Ranch. “Chill out, dude. I’m glad you’re excited to go out, but I am nowhere near ready. We’ve got to wait for Jesse, anyway. He’s picking us up tonight.”

“Hey, dad?”

“Hmm?”

“Well, I was just working on getting things together to head back to Luther on Sunday. One of the things I wanted to make sure to bring back was a flashlight. It would’ve been handy when the power was out in the dorm during that ice storm just after Thanksgiving. We all had our cell phones, at least if they were charged up, but the flashlight on an iPhone isn’t exactly spotlight material. Is there a flashlight around here that I could take?”

“Uh, sure. I’m pretty sure there’s one up by my bed. Have a look. I’m just going to run out and get the mail.”

Alex headed out the front door and Cam headed up the stairs to Alex’s bedroom. Alex was just flipping through the mail in the living room when he heard Cam shout down the stairs, “Hey dad! What’s this?”

Alex looked up from the mail with wide eyes. Instinctively, he knew what it was. He really didn’t want to explain it to Cameron. By the time he’d turned towards the stairs, Cam was already at the top, holding a small, black object.

“What is this?” Cameron asked again. “I haven’t a clue. I think I’m holding the handle, but I’m not even sure.”

Cameron had been holding the object out in his left hand so Alex could see what it was. He then pulled his hand back so he could again look more closely at the unidentified object.

“Uh, it’s a personal item,” Alex replied, as he thought, ‘Oh, God, this can’t be happening. How do I tell Cam what it is without actually telling him what it is?’

“Well, duh, dad. It was in the top drawer in your nightstand. I figured that much. That still doesn’t tell me what it is.”

“It’s a personal...stimulator.”

“Stimulator? Stimulator for what?”

“It’s a…a…prostate stimulator.”

Cam stood at the top of the stairs, still looking at the object in his left hand. The expression on his face spoke only of confusion. “A what?”

By now, Alex’s face was as red as a tomato. At least that’s the way it felt to him. He tried one more time. “It’s a prostate…Christ, Cam! It’s a vibrator, okay! Yes, your dad has a vibrator!”

Cam, who’d been carefully considering the item in his hand, slowly looked up to his father. His eyes returned to the object in his hand, then slowly widened as he gradually understood what the item was for. Looking back at his father once again, he slowly spoke. “You mean…you mean…you mean this has been in your ass?”

Alex had concluded he couldn’t possibly be more embarrassed than he was at that moment. “Yes, that’s how vibrators for men tend to work! Jeez, Cameron, get that look of horror off your face.”

“But this has been in your ass.”

“Cameron, I wash it off with soap after every use.”

A few seconds of silence before Alex added, “Just because I’m old doesn’t mean I don’t have needs, too. I’m still a sexual being. I sure as hell don’t know what God was thinking when he designed men, you know, with their G-spot in their asses.” After a few more seconds of what Alex found to be unsettling silence, he continued, “You know, Cameron, you shouldn’t ask questions if you can’t handle the answers.”

“I had no idea that was going to be the answer!” replied Cameron.

“And, for your information, that is not the handle at all. You hold it like it’s a syringe. Hold the two little wings between your index and middle fingers and press the button with your thumb. The button on the end is what turns it on and off.” Hearing that, Cameron immediately moved his hand to the end with the two wings and the button. It was now obvious to him that the part he’d thought was the handle was not intended to be held onto at all.

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” thought Alex. “I bet you didn’t look in the bottom drawer. If you had, you’d have probably found my edibles.”

“Wait, what? Jesus Christ, I don’t even know who you are anymore!”

“I’m Alex, also known as your dad. And I’m human, too, okay?”

“Shit, I should say so.” Cameron then looked back to the object in his left hand, again remembering that the item he held had, indeed, been in his father’s ass.

“I’m just going to put this back where I found it. And then I’m going to wash my hands. And probably wash them a second time, just for good measure.”

“So, yes, Cam, if you want me to pick you up something on my next trip to a legal weed state, give me your order and some cash in advance. They only seem to take cash, too. At least the dispensaries in Michigan.”

“Wait, are you actually offering to provide your own son with pot?”

“Well, don’t you think it’s hypocritical of me do something that I, in turn, try and stop you from doing? Though you are right in one way, Cam. There’s no reason for me to pick you up any marijuana products. Decorah is close enough to Illinois that you can go get your own.”

After some serious hand scrubbing, Cameron came down the stairs, still looking at his father as if he’d sprouted an extra arm. “I still, I just, I, I just don’t believe it. Oh my God, are my friends going to laugh at this story.”

For his part, Alex was still flustered. For some reason, the discovery of his prostate stimulator seemed significantly more embarrassing than the discovery of other item he stored in his nightstand. Nervously, he continued. “Okay, I’m just going to lay it all out there, since you now know your dad likes the herb. My first trip to a dispensary was in Illinois. It was a, well, a very weird experience. It was my first work trip since the start of the pandemic. I looked online and discovered that the only dispensary anywhere in southern Illinois was, like, a block from the site I was going to look at. I mean, going to a dispensary on that trip was meant to be, right? I don’t know if they’ve opened many more dispensaries in Illinois since then, but I kind of hope so.

“I could see a line of people snake around the building, everyone masked and standing six feet apart, as I pulled into a very full parking lot. A lot attendant stopped me and asked if I was ‘medicinal or recreational.’ It turned out the parking lot was only for medicinal customers. Recreational customers had to drive nearly a mile away and take a shuttle bus to the dispensary. The shuttle bus was an old party bus. Everything was covered in purple, and what I assume was at one time white, shag carpeting.

“So, yes, I’ve not been back to an Illinois dispensary. Michigan, however, has dispensaries on like every other corner. I think about half of all billboards in Michigan advertise dispensaries. Anyway, my experience at dispensaries in Michigan was much more positive than in Illinois. I was looking forward to trying out a dispensary in Oregon, but then that work trip got cancelled.

“And I only do edibles, though I must admit, smoking is a much better delivery system. In addition, the edibles generally taste absolutely horrible.”

“Good to know, dad.”

-----

Jesse arrived soon afterwards. Alex knew Cameron quite well, so he was surprised when he didn’t mention his discoveries to Jesse. “I can’t believe he didn’t bring it up,” thought Alex. “It’s Cam’s modus operandi to use anything embarrassing against me. Lord knows if the tables were turned, I’d probably try to make him squirm.”

The three went to a Mexican place for dinner. Cameron was surprised when his father ordered a beer. “I haven’t seen you order beer with dinner in I don’t know how long,” he commented.

“Well, you know we’re going to The Ranch, right?”

“Yup, I’m letting you take me to a gay bar.”

“I don’t even know if it’s truly a gay bar, or if it’s just gay-friendly,” replied Alex.

“Well, is the clientele largely from the gay community or queer community in general?” asked Cameron.

“Yes, it is,” Alex replied.

“You just answered your own question. It’s a gay bar.”

“Anyway,” continued Alex, “it’s karaoke night. And I’ve taken to singing at karaoke.”

“Yes, right after I’d returned to school for the fall semester, you’d mentioned that you’d started going to karaoke night with friends and singing. Failed to mention the gay bar part, but, yeah.”

Alex rolled his eyes, otherwise ignoring the comment. “Well, you know I have a phobia of singing in public.”

“No,” replied Cam, “that I didn’t know. The way you sang in the car when Charlotte and I were kids, I almost find that hard to believe.”

“Well, start believing it,” Alex responded. “I need to be mildly inebriated to get up on stage and sing. Otherwise, I’d never do it.”

Jesse, who’d been watching the conversation between father and son unfold with great amusement, finally spoke. “And when your dad says mildly inebriated, he means fairly well intoxicated.”

“Oh, shit,” said Cameron. “This is gonna be more fun than I thought!” He then added, “I’ve never seen my dad drunk.”

“Oh, trust me, Cam,” replied Jesse. “You’re in for a treat.”

“You know,” said Alex, attempting to turn the conversation, “that one of our group’s members is younger than you. You won’t see him tonight because he’s not old enough to get into the bar.” After taking a sip of his beer, Alex continued. Robbie’s just the sweetest person you’d ever meet. Just not the brightest bulb in the box.”

“No, not true,” replied Jesse. “Not true at all. He’s extremely intelligent.”

“What?” Alex responded, “With some of the goofy things he says?”

“Oh, I’m not saying he’s not an airhead. He totally is. But he’s damn smart, Alex. Didn’t you know he’s a computer game designer?”

“What?” Alex responded again.

“Oh, yes. He’s a computer whiz. Smart all around, but when it comes to computers and game design, he probably knows more than most computer science professors. The lesson here, Alex, is this: Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

“So, he’s extremely smart when it comes to computers, but ditzy when it comes to everything else?”

“No, not everything else, Alex. In a way, he’s just like you, at least the way you see yourself. I think he’s socially awkward, but in a rather unique way. The person he appears to be in social settings seems pretty low on the IQ totem pole. However, he’s really the animal at the top.”

“I don’t think that’s the preferred term, totem pole, that is, but I’ll let it slide this time since I’m not sure what would be the more correct term.”

“Alex,” said Jesse as he rolled his eyes, “you don’t need to be so PC about everything, you know.”

“I wouldn’t want any Alaska native or a member of a Canadian First Nation to hear you say that, though.”

“Which I get, Alex, but look around. Are there any Alaska natives here in the restaurant?”

“Jeez, dad,” added Cameron. “Jesse didn’t do it with malice or anything. Take a chill pill. Being woke and all is fine, but God, you don’t need to go overboard.”

“Like I said,” Alex said defensively, “I don’t know the correct term, so I’m letting it slide!”

Just then, their food arrived, tamping down the conversation for a minute or two. When they’d sampled the first of their meals, Alex commented, “You want to know the truth? Go ahead and call me ‘woke.’ That’s a badge I wear with honor. What the right calls ‘woke,’ I like to refer to as ‘not being an asshole.’”

“Perhaps, but ‘woke’ is better, dad. ‘Not being an asshole’ doesn’t quite roll off the tongue the same way.”

“Really, though, when you get down to it, that’s what being woke is, Cam,” said Alex. “I mean, look at some of these states where they don’t let the teachers refer to the students with their preferred names, or preferred pronouns. Why wouldn’t you refer to someone the way they prefer? Just because it’s not what you prefer, doesn’t mean everybody has to fit into your rigid, narrow, mindset. When it gets down to it, that’s what woke is. Being nice to people.”

“I’ve read somewhere,” commented Jesse, “that a teacher in a school that had cracked down on pronouns and all that responded by referring to all people by the ‘they/them’ pronouns because they claimed that they couldn’t be sure with 100 percent certainty that a given person was a ‘he’ at birth and not a ‘she,’ and vice versa. And instead of referring to people by their preferred nickname, again because the teacher couldn’t be 100 percent sure of the student’s given name, would only address their students with their last name.”

“Brilliant,” Alex said. “I love it.” He added, "I do still think some of the old-fashioned, sexist names and words are great, though.”

Both Cam and Jesse looked at Alex out of curiosity.

“I mean,” Alex commented, “If I were a woman and a pilot, I think I’d want to be referred to as an ‘aviatrix.’ That’s just such a cool word.”

“You’re weird, dad,” said Cameron. “You know that, right?”

“Yup,” replied Alex, “and you’re a chip off the old block.”

“Damn straight.”

Jesse just laughed. He loved the father-son banter between Alex and Cameron.

Less than an hour later, the three stepped into The Ranch. As usual, the place was rapidly filling with people. And as usual, Matt was already there, having claimed the two best tables in the place. He was with Ian and Riley. Rhys was at the bar.

Alex introduced Cam to Matt. They were chatting away when Eli and Sam walked up to the table.

“Ooh,” said Eli, “who’s the little hottie? I think I need to say hello to him!”

“Back off, Eli,” said Jesse.

“Why?” asked Eli. “Is he already taken?”

“That’s Alex’s son, Cameron,” replied Jesse. “His straight son.”

“Well, he’s in a gay bar. He must be comfortable enough with who he is. And if he’s comfortable enough with his sexuality, that probably means he’s open to a little experimentation.”

Just as Eli finished his ‘little experimentation’ speech, he felt a hand on his right shoulder. The hand was gripping his shoulder a little harder than it would’ve been if the hand was there only a sign of friendship.

“Ouch!” exclaimed Eli.

“Eli, I didn’t grab you hard enough to hurt you,” Alex said. “But you need to keep your hands off Cameron. Even if he’s open to experimentation, you’re too old for him.”

Eli’s response was quick. “Says the cradle robber.” Eli knew as he spoke the words that they were less than appropriate.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Alex, that was way out of line. The stuff before that was just joking. He is cute, and I might be interested if the situation was different, but knowing both that he’s your son and straight, he’s clearly off limits. So, I apologize for my poor attempt at humor. And the comment that followed.”

“It’s alright, Eli. Now that we’ve come to an understanding, let me introduce you to my son.”

Alex introduced Eli to Cameron, then handed Cameron his debit card. “A shot and a beer please. And get yourself and Jesse drinks as well.”

“A shot of what, dad? And what kind of beer?”

“Just take Jesse with you. He knows my usual.”

Alex ended up being the penultimate singer. He trotted up the stairs, went to the microphone, and said, “I just started dating a wonderful man named Jesse. I kinda wanted to sing a song for him.”

The audience reacted with a collective “aww.”

Alex continued, “However, despite the title, this song is definitely not for him.”

As the audience applauded, Alex waved his thanks, returned the microphone to the stand, then found his way back to his seat. “What did you think?” he asked Cam as he sat down.

“Fair. Six out of ten, tops.”

Alex raised his hand as if to smack Cameron at that response but was laughing as he did so. He then turned to Jesse. “I’ve wanted to sing that song for a while. It finally dawned on me how I could do it and also make it crystal clear it wasn’t about you.”

Jesse looked at Alex in confusion, which Alex noticed. He attempted to clarify. “You share the name of the character in the title of the song. But you’re the polar opposite of Carly Simon’s Jesse. Dating you is good for me. Carly’s Jesse is definitely not good for her.”

Once singing had ended, and half the crowd in The Ranch headed out, the men remained, enjoying each other’s company. It was here that Cameron suddenly announced, “Everybody, I’ve got a story to tell about my dad.”

‘Oh, shit,’ thought Alex. The discussion of prostate stimulators earlier in the evening had been forgotten or so Alex thought. His face quickly reddened as he sunk lower into his chair.

Unfortunately, Cameron was a reasonably good storyteller. He also was not afraid to exaggerate. By the time Cameron’s yarn neared an end, everyone was laughing at Alex’s expense. Alex felt like he wanted to sink beneath the table.

Eli attempted to come to Alex’s aid. “Guys, you’ve embarrassed Alex enough for the evening.” Eli then looked towards Alex and said, “I bet half the guys at this table have a similar story.”

Cameron, however, was not quite ready to let go. “First, let me say that I do not have a similar story, most likely because I do not own any sex toys. Second, I highly doubt that anyone else at this table has had their adult son find their father’s stash of sex toys. And third, I use the word ‘stash’ because I wasn’t even done with my story. The toy was in the top drawer in the nightstand. In the bottom drawer was the other stash.”

‘Oh, shit, he’s going there, too,’ rued Alex.

Laughter once again erupted, before Alex again received a little assistance, this time from Riley. “Guys, tell me the truth. How many of you have been to a legal weed state and not at least thought about, if not actually have, visited a dispensary?”

Ian was the first to fess up. “Yes, I stopped at one the last time I was in Illinois. There was no shuttle bus ride involved, though.”

Eli then confessed, “I visited one in Colorado when I was out there on vacation a couple of years ago. Twice.”

They continued to laugh and visit with one another until well after midnight. Cameron suggested that he, Alex, and Jesse head out because he was hungry. “Why can’t there be a Waffle House in Des Moines?” he mused.

Cameron talked Jesse into Perkins instead.

Once seated, Alex asked his son, “So, what did you think of your first gay bar?”

“That was a lot of fun. I pretty much had forgotten that it was even a gay bar, watching all the performers. I quickly remembered when I faced the other way and saw the audience, though. Yeah, not at all what I’d pictured a gay bar to be, either. I’ve heard of dance clubs where everyone’s got their shirt off, perhaps wearing only leather chaps, and everyone is on Molly.”

Jesse thought Cam’s idea of what a gay bar had been like before that evening was funny. Alex was less amused. “What do you know about Ecstasy, Cameron?”

“Oh, good God, dad. I’ve never done Ecstasy, and I have no intention to. And if any of my friends have done E, I’m not aware. Remember, I go to a small liberal arts college in a town of 10,000 people. In case you didn’t know, there aren’t too many gay dance clubs in Decorah.”

“Good answer,” replied Alex.

“Whoa!” exclaimed Cameron. “When did this turn into an episode of Family Feud?”

Jesse returned Cam and Alex to their house in Ankeny. As he pulled into the driveway, Alex asked, “You’re going to stay tonight, aren't you?”

Jesse replied, “It’s okay with you? You know, with…” Jesse used his head to gesture to the back seat.

“Uh, guys, I’m right here, you know,” Cameron said. “And you know it’s fine with me, provided I don’t hear you two rutting all night.”

Jesse laughed at Cameron’s comment. Alex remained silent, knowing his face was reddening again. Fortunately, his son couldn’t see it in the dark.

After a brief silence, Alex said, “Well, Cam has spoken. I’d love it if you stayed. We’ll just have to keep the volume of our rutting down.” He then turned to look towards the back seat and said, “Rutting? Really? Keeping it classy, Cam.”

Jesse and Alex walked hand-in-hand the short distance from Jesse’s car to the house. They couldn’t see Cam, who was behind them. If they had, they’d have seen a grin on Cam’s face. He was clearly happy that his dad was happy.

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