“You ready?” asked Alex.
“You betcha. Let’s get this show on the road,” replied Jesse.
As they pulled out of the parking lot at Jesse’s apartment, Alex said, “I’d like to stop roughly every two hours or so. This is going to make me sound old, I know, but I’ve started worrying about blood clots when I’m driving long distances, or even taking a long flight.”
“No, I get it,” Jesse responded. “I sure don’t mind; it’ll be good to stretch our arms and legs anyway.”
Alex picked Jesse up at his apartment a little before 9:00 am on the Wednesday before Christmas. The drive to Pratt would take them about 6½ hours, not counting stops. According to Alex’s two-hour plan, they’d need to stop at least two times during this trip. “I figured we could stop for lunch somewhere in Kansas City. Between Olathe and Overland Park, I think there’s about every chain restaurant known to man. We’ll have plenty to choose from. Sound good to you?”
“Sounds great, Alex.”
Alex had connected his iPhone to the car’s audio system so they could listen to his large collection of music. The mix was sure to be eclectic. Jesse wasn’t sure about some of the songs in Alex’s collection, but he was learning a fair amount about the history of American popular music, from early jazz in the 1910s and 1920s, to blues from the 1930s, to rockabilly music from the 1950s, to classic rock and disco from the 1970s…Alex did seem to like a variety of music. The thing that amazed Jesse, though, was the number of songs that Alex knew the lyrics to. “Well, Jesse, as you know, I drive quite a bit. I’ve had lots of time by myself to learn the words to songs. I like to listen to the news, and occasionally a podcast, while driving as well. But I think singing helps keep me awake and alert.”
The first leg of the trip passed by quickly. Traffic was relatively light, roadwork had largely stopped for the winter season, driving conditions were good, and they enjoyed one another’s company. As they passed from Missouri into Kansas, Alex asked, “Where do you want to stop for lunch?”
“Wherever is fine, Alex.”
“Oh, no! You are not going to make me decide, are you? Then I’ll worry that I’ve made you go somewhere you didn’t want to go.”
“Alex, a couple things,” Jesse replied. “First, you’re the one who’s driving. You have the final say. Secondly, I really am pretty easy to please. It would be hard to screw it up.”
After a few seconds, Alex said, “Okay, well, yesterday I looked up to see what restaurants are available and are also close to the highway.”
Jesse snickered.
“What?” asked Alex.
“Of course, you looked that up. Eating out is important to you.”
Alex chose to ignore Jesse’s comment. He continued, “Okay, so I checked out restaurants, and I came up with a list of ones I’d like to eat at. How about I give you the list, and then you can make the final choice.”
“Deal,” was Jesse’s simple reply.
“Okay,” said Alex, “If you’re in the mood for something a little quicker, I’m fond of Fuzzy’s Taco Shop and Torchy’s Tacos. We have those in Des Moines, though, too. There’s also a place called Mo Bettah’s which is Hawaiian food. I’ve never eaten there, but I think it kind of sounds interesting. If you’re more in the mood for sit-down, you can’t go wrong with the lunch specials at LongHorn Steakhouse. There’s also a Black Bear, which is a diner kind of place, found mostly in California. I ate there when I was in California the last time, and it was pretty good. My final suggestion is Winstead’s. It’s also kind of a diner/burger/shake place, and they’re only in the Kansas City area, I believe. It’s been ages since I’ve eaten there. I recall the food being good.”
“You know, I like your policy of not eating at restaurants you can eat at in Des Moines. How about we try Mo Bettah’s, was it? It sounds interesting to me, too.”
They had a leisurely lunch at Mo Bettah’s, which they both enjoyed. Once rested and with full tummies, they began the second leg of the trip. They’d had such a pleasurable morning together, followed by a relaxing lunch, that Alex really didn’t want to be a buzzkill. He felt he needed to find out more about Jesse’s history, though. Clearly, he’d had some sort of bad experience with a previous relationship. But what was the bad experience? He was quiet as he tried to think of a way to bring it up in conversation.
Jesse, however, was aware that something was on Alex’s mind. Alex had stopped singing along to songs Jesse was sure he knew the words to. He ended up forcing the issue when he asked what Alex was thinking about.
Alex was quiet for a few seconds before responding. Finally, he spoke. “Look, Jesse, there’s something or someone in your past that really hurt you. I know you don’t want to talk about it. But I really think we need to. I thought the car ride might be a good time.”
Jesse turned his head to the side and stared out the passenger window. He didn’t respond to Alex’s question. Alex was silent, waiting for Jesse to speak. What on earth was going on in Jesse’s head? Alex knew it wasn’t pleasant. It was something Jesse really wanted to hold onto himself. But the more their relationship progressed, the more Alex was worried that he might bungle it by hurting Jesse all over again. ‘Jesse is too special. I can’t let him get hurt again,’ he thought.
As the minutes of silence dragged on, however, Alex became convinced that he’d spoiled their trip to Jesse’s hometown. ‘What a stupid idea to bring this up while traveling,’ he chided himself. Finally, the silence became too loud for Alex to bear.
“Jesse, I’m really sorry that I brought it up.”
Jesse finally turned to look at Alex. Alex could see the tear-streaks on Jesse’s cheeks. He was surprised, however, at Jesse’s words. “Where are you planning on stopping for gas?”
‘Okay,’ thought Alex. ‘Does he not want to talk to me if we’re driving? Is he going to need to be hugged when we have the talk? Or is it...’
“Alex, earth to Alex,” said Jesse with the hint of a smile on his face. “Did you hear my question?”
“Uh, umm, yeah,” replied Alex. He quickly glanced at the gas gauge. “Probably a little this side of Wichita. El Dorado or maybe Andover.”
Again, silence. ‘Is he trying to think of the right words to say? Is he going to say anything?’
Jesse again broke the silence. “I was thinking of running out with my dad to do our Christmas shopping tomorrow morning. It’s kind of a tradition that we do our Christmas shopping together.”
“Uh, okay. Sounds good to me,” said Alex, as he thought, ‘Shit! He’s just going to ignore the elephant in the car! Dammit!’
After passing through Wichita, Jesse and Alex knew they were in the home stretch of the trip. They would arrive by suppertime. While Jesse was getting excited, Alex was getting nervous. As they neared Jesse’s hometown, he remembered there was another stop he wanted to make. “Is there a florist in Pratt?”
“I imagine there is, but I don’t really recall one,” Jesse replied.
“What about a full-service supermarket? They probably have a floral department.”
“Sure, there’s a Dillon’s shortly after we get into town. What do you need a florist for?”
“Well, I want to give your mom some flowers. Gotta make a good impression of the in-laws, you know?” Alex smiled as he referred to Jesse’s folks as in-laws.
Jesse was surprised. Raising his right eyebrow, he asked, “In-laws? You’ve got us getting married already?”
“I was just being silly, Jesse. I know it’s a little soon to be talking weddings. Best to meet the families first.”
“Alex, I have no doubt that you’re going to make a good impression,” Jesse said.
“I’m glad one of us is confident of that,” replied Alex.
About an hour and a bouquet of flowers later, Jesse guided Alex through the City of Pratt to his childhood home. Alex noted that Pratt was the quintessential Kansas town. Like most other cities in the Plains states, Pratt was laid out in a rigid grid, and the streets were twice as wide as necessary. The Shaw residence was easy to find. The house was on N. Main Street a few blocks north of downtown. The only turns that were needed were a right turn at the largest intersection in town, then a right turn into the driveway. “Is it okay to park in the driveway?” Alex asked.
“Yes, Alex, and stop being so nervous.”
As he parked the car, he observed Jesse’s childhood home for the first time. It was in large part what Alex had envisioned. A framed, two-story house with a front porch. The house was tan rather than the white that he’d imagined. A tidy little yard with two large shade trees. Alex imagined it was a lovely sight when the trees had leaves. The bare trees looked a little bleak as daylight was rapidly falling. It was one of the shortest days of the year, if not the shortest, Alex thought.
As they got out of the car, Jesse said, “Let’s just leave our bags in the car for now and go in and say hi.”
They climbed the stairs to the front porch, and Jesse opened the door. His parents were both standing in the living room, awaiting their arrival. Jesse quickly hugged his mom, then dad, as they exchanged greetings. Alex had pictured Alan Shaw as a significantly larger man than he was in real life. He had a worn complexion that suggested a life of hard work. He had Jesse’s blue eyes and a friendly smile. Jesse’s mom, on the other hand, was exactly as Alex had pictured. Betty was relatively small woman with grey hair in a hairdo that advertised that she’d been to the salon that morning. ‘She must’ve been the prettiest girl in town when she was eighteen or twenty,’ Alex thought. She was still a very attractive woman.
Jesse quickly made introductions. “Mom, dad, this is Alex. Alex, these are my parents, Alan and Betty Shaw.”
Alex extended his hand to Alan. Alex noted that Alan’s handshake was firm. ‘He may be retired, but he’s still very much an active man,’ Alex mused. “I am pleased to meet you, Mr. Shaw,” then, turning towards Betty, he said “Mrs. Shaw.” As he did so, he offered her the bouquet.
Instead, Betty grabbed Alex and pulled him in for a hug. A one-armed hug for Alex, as he still held onto the bouquet. As she hugged Alex, Jesse’s dad said, “Please call us Alan and Betty. You’re an adult now, aren’t you?”
Alex’s face began to redden. As Betty let go, Alex responded, “Yes, sir.” As Alan began to laugh, Alex quickly added, “I mean Alan.”
“Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely,” Betty said, then added, “So this is the man who managed to do for our son what we had come to believe wasn’t possible.”
‘Wait, what?’ thought Alex. ‘I think there’s a hell of a lot Jesse hasn’t told me.’
“Come in and sit down,” said Betty. The men sat down in the living room, Jesse and Alex on the sofa, Alan in what clearly was his chair. ‘I wonder if Alan can tell if someone’s been sitting in his chair like Archie Bunker could,’ Alex mused. Betty had taken the bouquet to the kitchen, but soon returned and sat down in her chair.
Alex’s eyes swept around the room, taking it in for the first time. An artificial Christmas tree stood in one corner, adorned with multi-colored lights, garland, and a smattering of ornaments, the bulk of which appeared to be glass. A hand-made, quilted tree skirt was at the tree’s base. The room itself was rather dark, likely because of the paneled walls. The carpet was a short shag. The room clearly had not been remodeled in years. However, though the furniture and carpet were old, they were still in excellent condition. The room was spotless, just as he’d imagined.
“Oh, silly me,” said Betty, “where are my manners? Could I offer you something to drink?”
“Thank you, but no,” Alex replied before asking, “would you be so kind as to point me in the direction of the bathroom, though?”
Jesse stood and quickly said, “I can show you around.”
Betty thanked Alex once again as she walked back into the kitchen. She then said over her shoulder, “Supper will be ready soon, so don’t go too far.”
Jesse pulled Alex up from the couch and said, “I’ll take you upstairs to the bathroom, then I’ll show you my room and the rest of the house.”
Alex was first shown Jesse’s room, which he only saw briefly. It was much like his own childhood bedroom appeared once its occupant had grown up and moved away. There were a few signs that it had been a boy’s room at one time. There were several models of cars and airplanes on a shelf. A few stuffed animals watched over the room from their perch on a chair in the corner. The lamp on the nightstand had a shade decorated with baseballs, baseball gloves, and bats. The room was kept clean, of course. Alex did think the double, wait, no, queen size bed was a bit unusual, though the room was large enough for it. He’d only had a twin bed growing up, and he could recall only twin beds or bunk beds in the few childhood friend’s bedrooms that he’d been in.
Jesse next pointed out the bathroom, which turned out to be across the hall from Jesse’s room. The remainder of the tour had to wait until Alex had finished in the bathroom. When he’d finished, he found Jesse waiting patiently for him in the hallway. The remainder of the tour was brief. Jesse said, “My parent’s room is over there, on the opposite side of the stairs, and the guest bedroom is next to my bedroom. Why don’t we go out and get our things from the car and bring them up before supper?”
When they returned to the second floor with their luggage a few minutes later, Alex moved to put his bag in the guest bedroom. Jesse, however, stopped him. “Alex, I have a queen size bed in my room. I thought you’d sleep with me.”
“Uhh, sure. We didn’t discuss sleeping arrangements, and I just assumed that since you pointed out the guest room that’s where I was to stay.” He then added, “Are your parents okay with that?”
Unbeknownst to Alex, Alan had climbed the stairs and was standing directly behind him. “Alex,” he said, “we may be old, but we’re not fuddy-duddies, either. We just assumed you’d sleep with Jesse.”
“Umm, of course it’s fine,” Alex said, his face reddening as he did so. “For the record, though, we’ve only slept together a few times, sir…I mean Alan.” He then clarified, “and by sleep together I mean sleep in the same bed. And the one time I only stayed at Jesse’s place because there was an ice storm.”
Alan laughed. “Alex, please relax. We’re all adults, and, well, we really don’t want to know what you two do or don’t do when you’re together, but don’t be embarrassed. Anyway, Betty sent me up to get you and Jesse. She’s putting supper on the table as we speak.”
A delicious meal of pot roast, potatoes, and vegetables was served by Betty, followed by apple pie for dessert. As they finished, Alex said, “Betty, that was fantastic. I haven’t had a home-cooked meal like that in a while.”
Betty blushed and offered her thanks, then said, “Would you like some after-supper coffee?”
“Thank you, but no,” responded Alex.
Jesse then said, “No, mom, Alex doesn’t drink coffee.”
Betty got a funny look on her face, then commented, “You aren’t Mormon, are you?”
Alex thought it was a bizarre question. Before he could answer, Jesse did so for him. “No, mom, he’s Lutheran.”
“Yes, Betty,” Alex said, “Jesse and I have had this conversation more than once. I don’t care for hot beverages. I will occasionally drink coffee, but I prefer diet pop to anything served hot. The iced tea you served with dinner was delicious, but I’d shy away from the tea if it was hot tea.”
The evening passed by quickly with pleasant conversation between the four, followed by the 10 pm news on Channel 12 from Wichita. After the weather, Betty and Alan excused themselves and headed upstairs to bed.
Jesse turned to Alex and asked, “Do you want to do anything right now, or just chill?”
Alex responded with a question of his own. “Well, do you want to go out somewhere for a beer or two?”
Jesse’s retort was quick and cold. “In this town, ahh, no.”
“Why, Pratt isn’t a dry town, is it? I think I saw a sports bar or something across the street from Dillon’s.”
“I don’t care to go out here, that’s all. It’s not like they have good beer here, anyway.”
“Okay, then, Jesse, what would you like to do?”
A slight smile crossed Jesse’s face. “Well, I thought maybe we could get ready for bed, and then, I don’t know, maybe get in bed? Jesse wiggled his eyebrows as he finished the sentence.
“With your parents right across the hall?”
“Jeez, Alex, I wasn’t suggesting we fuck like rabbits. I had in mind a little cuddling, some conversation, and maybe a bit of making out.”
‘Umm, okay, just so the making out doesn’t get out of hand. What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”
“You get to sleep in, while I go out shopping with my dad.”
In the morning, Alan knocked on Jesse’s doorframe before leaning into the doorway. He quietly asked, “Hey, Jesse, do you want to get up and going?”
Groggily, Jesse looked at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s 7:30, dad, so no, not particularly.”
“Well, the day’s a-wastin’. Get up and have a bit of breakfast so we can get going.”
Jesse groaned, then replied, “Okay, but I’m going to have a quick shower first.” As Alan headed downstairs, Jesse leaned over, kissed Alex, and said, “We’re going to be heading out. Sleep as late as you’d like. When you get up, you can shave and shower if you wish. I’m sure my mom will be downstairs in the kitchen. I know you think breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and my mom just might agree with you. She’ll round up some grub for you. We’ll probably be back for lunch.”
Alex sleepily acknowledged Jesse. Jesse got his clothes from his bag and headed off to the bathroom.
Alex wasn’t as sleepy as he made out to be, however. He lay awake, listening to the morning sounds of the Shaw household. A toilet flushing. A shower being turned on and off. Pans being banged around a bit in the kitchen. Eventually, he heard the sounds he’d been waiting for. He heard two car doors open and shut, and then a car start up. He then rose and dressed quickly. A shower could wait. He headed downstairs, where he was greeted by Betty.
“Good morning, Alex. Did you sleep alright?”
“Good morning, Mrs., I mean Betty. Yes, I slept quite well, thank you.”
“Well, what would you like me to make you for breakfast?”
“Betty, I’m good with cold cereal.”
“I can make you up some bacon, eggs, and pancakes if you’d like. Or French toast?”
“Really,” replied Alex, “there’s no need to go all out.”
Undeterred, Betty said, “Well, how about I just make some bacon and French toast, then?”
Alex smiled. He knew he’d been beaten. “French toast and bacon would be wonderful. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“There is,” replied Betty as she began busying herself, leaning into the refrigerator to retrieve eggs and bacon. “You can stay seated at the table and tell me all about yourself.” While Alex had shared some information with the Shaw’s the previous evening, it had only been a basic overview. He hadn’t done a deep dive into the details of his 55 years of life.
Alex knew what he had to do. The time was now. “Actually, Betty, I’d like to talk to you about Jesse.”
“Okay,” Betty responded. “What would you like to know?”
“Betty, I really want to know what happened to Jesse.” Betty, who was facing away from Alex in front of the stove, suddenly stopped what she was doing. Alex continued, “He doesn’t talk about his past. He goes silent or changes the subject whenever the topic comes up. From the few scraps of information I have gotten, I’ve think I’ve pieced together that something went south with a relationship he was in, but I don’t know what it was. I want to know what happened in his past, mostly because I don’t want to hurt him. I’ve fallen for your son, Betty. I’ve fallen hard. He is a wonderful human being, Betty. It sounds trite, I know, but he completes me. I would just die if I hurt him again.”
The entire time Alex had been speaking, Betty had been standing at the stove, facing away from Alex, staring forward and as still as a statue. Her hands were by her side, the right hand grasping a spatula. Alex was thankful she hadn’t turned on the stove burners. Though he couldn’t see her face, Alex thought that she appeared to be in a trance.
Once Alex stopped speaking, several seconds of silence followed. Alex was just about to apologize for upsetting her when Betty slowly turned around. She said, quietly, “As much as I hate to talk about it, you’re right. You do need to know.”
Posted 11 January 2025