Second Chances

Chapter 7

It was Friday evening, and Alex kept glancing out the picture window in his living room. He tried to distract himself by scrolling through Instagram, but he could not keep his thoughts off the evening ahead. As soon as he saw Jesse’s white Toyota Corolla pull into the driveway, he grabbed his jacket and headed out the front door, not bothering to lock it. This was Ankeny, after all. The doors were locked when he went to work during the day, and overnight, but he frequently didn’t bother locking the door if he was going out in the evening.

“Hi Rhys! Hi Jesse!” Alex said as he opened the door behind the driver’s seat. The two men returned his greeting as he sat down and began searching for the seat belt. “I’m glad you suggested grabbing dinner before we head to The Ranch.”

A short while later, they pulled into the parking lot of Pueblo Viejo Mexican Restaurant. None of the three had been there before. Alex had frequently driven past the restaurant, and many times had thought that he’d like to try it. It was his suggestion.

After being seated and placing their drink orders, conversation lagged briefly as the men studied the menus. Once their choices had been made, the conversation quickly turned in the direction Alex was sure it would. “So,” asked Jesse, “are you sure you can’t tell us what song you’re going to sing tonight?"

“Guys, it’s highly unlikely that you’ve ever heard the song. So does it even matter?”

“Well, can you at least tell us if it’s a country song?” enquired Rhys.

“Sort of,” Alex responded.

“What do you mean, ‘sort of’?”

“The song is by a country music artist. But the song was more popular in dance clubs than on country radio. And I’ve already said more than I wanted to!”

Just then, the server brought their drinks, along with chips and salsa. After placing their food orders, Jesse pointed out that Alex was beginning to drink early. “No sense waiting until I’m at The Ranch to have a beer. They might have put me earlier on the list of karaoke singers tonight.” He then added, “Here I am, trying to lose weight. Ever since I’ve started hanging out with you guys, I have consumed significantly more beer than I used to, and I have been eating out more. Are you guys trying to sabotage my weight loss goal?”

“Okay, so you’re consuming a few more calories than you used to. Aren’t you happier, though?” Jesse asked.

“Touche,” replied Alex.

The topic of the evening’s karaoke selections fell by the wayside as the conversation turned to their respective weeks at work.

Alex grabbed the check when their server dropped it off. Jesse and Rhys both began to protest, but Alex quickly shot them down. “Look, guys, what would I be doing otherwise on a Friday evening? I’d probably have a cheese or peanut butter sandwich for dinner, and for fun maybe I’d clean the bathroom. Instead, here I am, with two of the hottest bachelors in all Des Moines, who I am fortunate to also consider good friends. Besides, I got to pick the restaurant, and I didn’t even have to drive. I would gladly pay double for this honor. Quite honestly, the pair of you are a cheap date!”

The three laughed, but Rhys insisted that they buy all of Alex’s drinks that evening. Alex acquiesced.

-----

Alex was very happy he’d had two beers with dinner, as his name was placed near the beginning of the roster of karaoke singers. He did manage to have two more bottles of beer before it was his turn, though. Nonetheless, Alex was nervous that he hadn’t consumed an adequate amount of alcohol to get over his fear of singing in public. Nervousness was rapidly turning into panic.

“Guys. Please, somebody go and buy me a shot.”

“A shot of what, Alex?” queried Ian.

“Whatever. I don’t care. Southern comfort.”

Several of the men laughed at his response. “What’s so funny? Do people not get shots of Southern comfort?” asked Alex.

As Ian walked to the bar, Rhys explained. “You said you didn’t care what Ian got you. Then you specified exactly what he should get you. I’m pretty sure you’re more liquored up than you think.”

“It’s not funny!” protested Alex. Then he giggled. “Okay, maybe a little.”

About fifteen minutes, one shot of Southern comfort, and one beer later, Alex heard his name called. Fortunately, he’d relaxed a bit over the previous quarter hour. “Guys, wish me a broken leg,” he said as he got up from his seat.

He climbed the stage and the music began.

Alex pulled the microphone from the stand, then began to move to the beat. Alex was not a good dancer, and it was clear to everyone that his dancing did not improve with the addition of alcohol.

As the music faded away a few minutes later, the audience began to applaud. Alex returned the microphone to the stand, smiled, waved to the crowd, and returned to his seat. As might be expected, his friends cheered the loudest. Both Ian and Jesse patted him on the back as he sat.

“Guys, thanks, but that really wasn’t very good. I did much better my first time out. I’m not sure, but I think I was just a touch too sober. Or maybe a touch too drunk.”

As his friends laughed at his comments, the next song began.

“Seriously, though, I think I botched the lyrics,” he said, just as the petite twenty-something woman on stage began to sing. No one heard his lament.

-----

Later, Rhys, Jesse, and Alex were laughing at each other’s comments about the evening’s singers as they walked the block-and-a-half from The Ranch to Jesse’s Corolla. “Hey, Jesse,” said Alex, “did Rhys tell you about when he took me home after the last karaoke night? When we got to my house, he thought I asked him in for a little fun, if you know what I mean. I really had…”

Just as they reached the car, three men stepped out of the shadows from behind a nearby building. The men were wearing ski masks.

“Hey, pansy boys!” one of the masked men shouted. “We don’t like your kind around here!”

The three looked up. Jesse unlocked the doors and said, tersely, “Ignore them and get in the car.”

Alex had other ideas, however. Fueled with liquid courage, he strode directly toward the three hoodlums. “Why don’t you take off those masks, boys? Chicken? Those masks mean one of two things. Either you know what you’re doing is wrong, or you’re just a bunch of fucking closet cases. And we don’t like your kind around here!”

Rhys and Jesse were surprised at Alex’s outburst. Rhys was the first to react. He ran towards Alex, whose advance by this time had slowed. As he ran, Rhys yelled back to Jesse, “Start the car and then drive up next to us!”

The masked man who’d spoken originally growled, “What did you say to me, ass bandit?” The three hoodlums, who had stopped in their tracks when Alex unexpectedly charged toward them, began to advance once again. One of the hoodlums had been holding a baseball bat behind his back, which he now made visible. This time it was Alex who stopped in his tracks.

While the very real threat of violence caused Alex to halt his advance, he was still not done returning the verbal taunts in kind. “You heard me, closet boy. I don’t know if you know this, but there’s a gay bar right over there. You better get out of here fast, or people are gonna think you’re a bunch of fairies!”

By now, Rhys had grabbed Alex and began to pull him back. Alex tried to free himself from Rhys’s grip by squirming out of his jacket, and was nearly successful, but Rhys held on tightly. Meanwhile, Jesse pulled up a few feet from Rhys and Alex. He leaned over and opened the passenger door. Alex was so focused on the three that he wasn’t aware that Jesse’s car was now within ten feet of the spot where he continued to struggle against Rhys. Rhys, however, had noticed. He suddenly began pushing Alex to the left rather than attempting to pull him backwards. Alex was not expecting the sudden change and stumbled.

Jesse saw Alex stumble. While he wanted to stay with the car to make a quick getaway, he knew Rhys needed some assistance. He threw the car into park, jumped out, and ran around the back of his vehicle, stopping only long enough to open the rear passenger-side door.

Fortunately, Alex only fell to one knee, and Rhys managed to stay upright. He now began to tug Alex upward. With Jesse’s assistance, they were able to drag Alex toward the car. The fall had broken Alex’s verbal tirade briefly, but when he recovered, he let loose a string of profanities that would have made the proverbial sailor blush with shame. The three would-be attackers again stopped in their tracks, either confused by what their eyes were seeing or stunned by the verbal assault being thrown at them. Perhaps both.

As soon as they managed to get Alex into the backseat, Jesse ran to the driver’s side of the vehicle. Meanwhile, Rhys slammed the door, then jumped into the front passenger seat. The car was rapidly accelerating away from the scene before Rhys was able to pull the passenger door shut.

Jesse looked into the rearview mirror and saw the three masked men had followed the vehicle into the street and were returning Alex’s verbal abuse as the car sped away.

Rhys was the first to speak. Well, perhaps yell would be a more accurate term. “Jesus tapdancing Christ, Alex, what the fuck was that?”

With defiance, Alex responded. “I have decided that I have hidden who I am for too long.” He then sputtered, “And I sure as hell am not going to stand idly by and let those…those…those…three… crypt-keepers shovel out that homophobic bullshit. Someone needs to put those motherfuckers in their place!”

“Standing up for yourself is one thing, but trying to face off with three guys by yourself is stupid. Especially when they’re armed with bats!” Rhys shot back.

The three were silent for a few minutes. Then suddenly, Jesse began to giggle. Both Alex and Rhys looked quizzically at Jesse, whose giggle soon turned into a laugh. A few seconds later, Jesse was able to collect himself enough to ask, “Alex, did you actually call those assholes ‘Cunt-faced corpse fuckers?’”

“Probably. I think I said a bunch of things I’ve never said before.” After a few seconds of silence, Alex then added, “I was wrong. I guess that was a third possible reason they were wearing those face masks.” Jesse laughed even harder, while Rhys shot him a dirty look. The car again quieted. A moment later, Alex asked, “That was a pretty stupid thing to do, wasn’t it?”

Rhys replied with a simple question of his own. “Ya think?”

“Jeez guys. I am really, really sorry. I didn’t even think about how I put you two in danger. I am sorry for being such an idiot.”

“Alex,” said Rhys, who was finally calming down, “I think we need to have a serious heart-to-heart with you about how to pick your battles.”

“Guys, umm, not to interrupt, but I just started driving when we high-tailed it out of The Ranch. I have no idea where I’m going.”

Alex looked around to orient himself. Once he realized they were headed eastbound on Euclid Avenue, he said, “We’re headed to Perkins. It’s just past I-235 on the right.”

Rhys turned around to look at Alex. “We are?”

“Yes,” replied Alex. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a slice of pie right about now.” The comment caused Jesse to smile. Rhys merely shook his head.

Moments later, Jesse parked the car, and the three walked into the restaurant. Once they’d placed their orders, Alex again offered an apology, and again reiterated how stupid his actions were. “Well, I guess you guys can tell I’m Irish, at least in part. My temper is generally under control, but when I’m pushed past my limit, look out.”

“Okay, Alex, you need to listen very closely, now,” said Rhys. “Lesson number one of how to pick your battles. When there’s one of you, and three of them, and at least one is armed with a baseball bat, that is a time where you turn and walk away. In fact, feel free to run. You don’t need to be a hero or prove a point. You’re not a chicken. If the odds are three against one, there’s no shame in turning tail. In fact, you’re stupid if you don’t.”

“I know, I know. That’s usually me. I have never been in a physical altercation with anyone. Ever.”

“Tonight could’ve gone a different way completely, Alex.,” continued Rhys. “One or more of us could’ve gotten hurt. Hospitalized. Maybe even killed. Bravado isn’t worth it.”

“I know,” muttered Alex. “Like my mother always said, ‘you might be right, but you might be dead right.’” After a few seconds, he added, “I’m not justifying my actions when I say this, because I didn’t know what was up before I went off on those guys. But I really don’t think they were spoiling for a fight. They could’ve easily kicked our asses. When I fell, they had a perfect opportunity to attack. And with the car so close, they would’ve known that was their last chance to get a piece of us. Yet they didn’t come after us. I think they thought a fun Friday night would be to hurl some homophobic epithets at some gay guys, then have a good laugh when their victims ran. They weren’t expecting to be challenged.”

“I think you may be right,” said Jesse, who until now had listened to the discussion between Rhys and Alex without speaking. “They weren’t expecting to be hit with a year’s worth of profanity within a period of seconds. Are you sure you didn’t just confuse them when you let loose that potty-mouth of yours, Alex? Maybe they were just too stunned to attack.”

“We can debate this all night,” commented Rhys. “But either way, we got lucky. Either lucky that they weren’t itching for a fight, or lucky that they were too shocked by Alex to fight.”

“Alex is just a shocking kind of guy,” Jesse said with a smile on his face.

“Thanks, guys. I mean it. I did something majorly stupid, and you chose to make it a teachable moment. You could’ve just dropped me off at home, said good riddance, blocked my number, and never spoken to me again.”

Rhys replied, “I think that reaction would’ve been a little over the top.” Jesse nodded in agreement.

“Do you think we should’ve contacted the police?” asked Alex.

“Nah. What would’ve been the point? They hadn’t done anything against the law. Hurling around homophobic insults may be reprehensible, but it’s still legal,” responded Jesse.

“But isn’t it hate speech?” Alex queried.

“I think you’d have been hard pressed to make that argument stick in a court of law, especially without any impartial witnesses. Plus, hate speech only becomes an issue when there’s a hate crime involved.”

“Besides,” added Rhys, “they most likely took off after we left anyway.”

“Maybe we should’ve gone back into the bar to warn the others,” Alex then surmised.

“Maybe,” said Rhys, “but I think we were too shocked to think of that. You were in fight mode, and we were in full flight mode.”

“I do think we need to warn the others, though,” Jesse added. “Not about those gang-banger wannabes. About Alex.”

Jesse and Rhys laughed while Alex replied by sticking out his tongue.

“I’m kind of shocked, though, aren’t you?” said Alex.

Jesse replied, “How so?”

“Okay, I know Des Moines isn’t Berkeley or Madison or Boulder. Hell, it isn’t even Iowa City. But by the same token, it’s not a backwater tucked away somewhere in Appalachia or the Ozarks or the piney woods of East Texas.”

“So, you’re actually shocked that people would hurl epithets or threaten gays with violence?” inquired Rhys.

Alex nodded in agreement.

“Well, I’ve got news for you, Alex. There are still a lot of assholes out there. Lots of people love to hate anyone who’s different. Lots of homophobes. And for every person who expresses that hate through words or violence, I assure you that there are just as many more who harbor those feelings but don’t express them verbally or violently.”

Jesse added, “At least as many. You haven’t been ‘out’ for as long as we have. We’ve heard the snide comments. Sometimes you overhear what one person whispers to their companion. Sometimes they make their feelings known with the intent of you hearing.”

“And that doesn’t even include the looks of disgust or hate. Sometimes those looks hurt just as badly as the words, if not worse,” said Rhys. “You don’t have to be in the Bible Belt to hear, or see, the wrath of holier-than-thou, homophobic assholes. Unfortunately, this country is full of them.”

“You’ve not felt those looks of disgust. You’ve not heard those words of hate directed at you, at least until now,” commented Jesse. “Maybe Rhys won’t agree, but comments and glares? They are frequent enough that we just learn to ignore them. You just can’t live your life letting stuff like that drag you down. If you let those people get to you, they win.”

“Okay,” Alex said. “I’m obviously new to this. Do you think I’ve gone overboard in trying to embrace my new identity? I’ve only been in this position for what, six weeks now? I know I jumped into the pool of Queerdom feet first. Or did I really do a cannonball off the high dive?”

“The ‘pool of Queerdom’? That’s a new one, Alex,” said Jesse, amusement evident in his voice.

“Umm, guys, I think we need to table this discussion for now,” said Rhys. “It looks like they’re wanting to close.”

Alex glanced at his watch. “Holy crap! It’s 2:00 am!”

“I know,” Jesse added. “Time flies when your life is in danger.”

“I am wide awake,” noted Alex as the three arose from the booth and walked toward the register.

“Sure, I think we all are,” replied Jesse. “Something so stressful will do that to you. But just wait. You’ll probably crash once you get home.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” commented Alex as he gave the cashier their check and his debit card. “I suffer from insomnia.”

“Well, Alex,” shot Rhys, “don’t you think if you laid off the diet coke at 1:30 in the morning you might have a little better go of it falling asleep?”

“No. Caffeine has never had any effect on me. I’ve concluded that I have ADD.”

“But you told us you like to have a large diet pop from McDonald’s or Kwik Star when you’re up and on the road early, so you don’t fall asleep,” Jesse countered.

“It has nothing to do with the caffeine,” responded Alex. “It’s the action of drinking. And of course, the subsequent need to pee. It just so happens that my beverage of choice is diet cola.”

As they walked out the door, Rhys enquired, “Don’t you like coffee?”

“I don’t like hot beverages,” Alex replied. “I dislike hot tea but like iced tea. I’ve never had iced coffee, but I’d probably like it, too. I don’t mind the taste of coffee at all.”

Jesse asked, “What don’t you like about hot beverages?”

“Well, when you’re handed a hot drink like coffee, it’s generally too hot to actually drink. Then it cools off to an optimal temperature for drinking. But that optimal temperature window is so narrow that you need to drink up quickly, because then it’s too cold to drink. Hot chocolate is the exception. When it gets too cold to drink, you just have to pretend its chocolate milk, and everything is fine.”

“Well, if you don’t like slightly cooler than optimal coffee, you probably are not going to like iced coffee,” said Rhys as Jesse unlocked his car with his key fob.

“Maybe, but I dislike slightly cooler than optimal hot tea, yet like iced tea.”

Once they’d dropped off Alex, Jesse and Rhys continued their discussion about the events of the evening. “Wow,” said Rhys. “Alex’s response was not at all what I would’ve expected.”

“I know,” replied Jesse. “Alex is kind of a complicated guy. It’s almost as if he’s trying to be two people.”

Rhys looked at Jesse quizzically before responding. “You aren’t suggesting he’s, like, got multiple personalities, are you?”

“No, not really. Same personality, but he could play the same character in different ways. More like he’s got different faces. Or a mask, or even multiple masks, if that makes any sense. That’s why I say he’s complicated.”

“I guess, if you were in denial about your sexuality for so long, and then once you’d finally accepted it for yourself, but still felt a need to hide that sexuality from everyone else, you probably get good at playing a character that’s different than the real you.”

“Yes, that’s really what I mean. And to some extent, I had the same experience as Alex. I accepted my sexuality pretty quickly, but it took quite a while before I let anyone else know. I most definitely wore a mask to obscure the real me.”

Rhys again gave Jesse a questioning look, right as they passed a well-lit intersection. Jesse glanced to his right and saw Rhys’s look. “That’s a story for another day.”

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