Five weeks later, a warm front went through the area and began a thaw. At Jack’s warning, we moved our meager belongings up into the woods. By the next day, our little stream had become a fast-flowing river which more than filled the space under the overpass. The thaw continued until nearly all of the snow and ice were gone. As it got warmer through the spring we moved our double sleeping bag to the middle of the park in the daytime so we could lie back and bask in the warming sun.
Meanwhile, Evan’s mother had been contacting local people and groups who showed an interest in sponsoring a permanent shelter, the Evan Connors Children’s Shelter for children 18 and under. The UCC church donated some space, and a small shelter opened at the end of February. Jack and I visited it and thanked Evan’s mother for her efforts. While we had no interest in staying there at that time, we did recommend it to some of the younger kids we met.
After Christmas, when the weather had turned very cold and the snow had fallen, we had almost entirely discontinued our nighttime sexual activities, but with the warmer weather we were able to resume. We moved on from mutual masturbation to oral sex, enjoying the wonderful sensations. Despite the fact I was doing it with Jack, I always fantasized about Dexter. One night, I asked Jack, “What do you think about while we’re doing this?”
Smiling, Jack replied, “Well, mostly I think o’ how good it feels. But if ya mean, do I think about someone, yeah I do. There was a girl in my old school. I was really in love with her, but she never even spoke t’ me. Anyway, I dream about having sex with her. D’ya think that’s weird?”
“No, I don’t. I always think about Dexter.”
“Are ya unhappy I don’t think about you?”
“Not at all. If I was in love with you I certainly would be, but I’m not. I’m just enjoying what we share.”
I heard occasionally from Adam and almost every day from Dexter, who was still lonely and barely putting up with his father. In late March, I received an email saying,
Dear Willy,
Good News! I found out from one of my teachers that I can send money to you using General Delivery at the post office at whatever city you’re staying in. I have some money now. Would you consider going back to Massachusetts for the summer if I sent you the money? I really miss you and want to see you soon!
I love you so much, Dexter
Before answering, I went to the post office to find out how General Delivery worked. I learned that I would need a photo ID in order to collect mail. So my next problem became how to acquire a photo ID when I was living under an assumed name and had no birth certificate.
The next day, I wrote back to Dexter,
Dear Dexter,
You asked if I would be willing to go to Massachusetts this summer. I’m really not. I don’t know where I could go and be safe and still see you. I certainly don’t want to go anywhere near home. I’m finished with that. So I guess you need to hold onto the money until you get to Florida.
I went to the post office to find out about General Delivery. It turns out I have to have a photo ID to pick up mail. So my next problem is to figure out how to get a photo ID in my new name. Thanks for working on the problem and getting the money. Now I’ll work on it from this end.
I do miss you a lot. I want to hold you and kiss you and share wonderful sex with you, but I guess we still have to wait awhile longer. Please be patient with me. I’m doing the best I can.
All My Love, Willy
As I often did when I wrote to Dexter, I wept silently, tears dropping on the keyboard. Despite my friendship with Jack, I was still lonely. As we left, Jack looked at me and said, “Ya really miss him, don’t ya?”
“God yes, Jack. I’ve got to find a way to get to him. He can send me money using General Deliver but I have to find a way to get a photo ID so I can pick it up from the post office.”
“Why don’t ya ask one of the older guys how to do that? I bet one of ’em knows.”
So a few days later, I asked one of the older boys, Oscar, if he knew how to get a photo ID. “Do you mean a forgery?” he asked.
“I suppose I do, since Willy isn’t my real name and I don’t even have a birth certificate.”
Oscar nodded, saying that he didn’t know but he thought he could find out.
A week later, Oscar sought me out. He told me that he had found a man who could do a forged New York driver’s license and asked if I thought that would do. When I said I thought it would, Oscar told me it would cost $200.
“My God, Oscar! Where am I going to get that kind of money? I have a friend who’ll send money for a bus ticket but I can’t even get that money without the ID. Do you suppose the person you know would make one on credit until I got the money?”
“I doubt that very much, but I’ll ask.” The next day, Oscar told me that there was no way the man would make the ID on credit.
I decided that my next step had to be to find out how much a bus ticket from Grantham to Ft. Lauderdale would be. Jack and I walked to the bus station where I learned that a ticket would cost just under $200.
As we left the station, I said, “Shit, Jack. That means I have to raise $200 in order to get an ID so that I can get $200 for the ticket. That just doesn’t make sense. I guess I just need to raise the $200 and buy a ticket without the ID. How can I possibly get $200?”
“There’s only one way t’ get that kind of money — sex,” replied Jack.
“But that’s dangerous and I really hate the thought of it.”
“I know, but I guess it depends on how much ya want the money.”
“I’ll just have to figure out another way.” So I took on the project of raising the money. I scoured coin machines and twice stole purses which women had carelessly left lying on the floors of fast-food restaurants. I panhandled all day every day, using little of what I got for food.
In June, Jack suggested I needed to take a day off, so we went to the beach. When we looked at each other in just our shorts we realized that while we had grown taller we had become even skinnier since our adventure in the high school.
“Looks like we’re just not gettin’ enough to eat,” Jack observed, and I had to agree.
We enjoyed lying in the sun, although we spent only a little time in the water, which was still very cold. Since we had almost no fat on our bodies, when we got out we were shivering and we toweled down as quickly as we could. Nevertheless, we did manage to clean ourselves for the first time since we had used the showers in the high school.
As we lay on our towels, Jack asked how much money I’d collected. “Only about twenty-seven dollars,” I admitted. “I’ve got to find a better way if I hope to get to Florida in November.”
“D’ya want me to help ya?”
I’d never asked Jack to help, knowing he needed all the money he could raise, but I was getting discouraged. Finally I said, “If you could chip in a little, that would be great. But the problem is I don’t need a little; I need a lot.”
My birthday, my fifteenth, passed quietly. Jack gave me $17 towards my ticket. I was surprised and very grateful, knowing well the sacrifices he must have made to get that money. By September, I had only collected a little over $60, including what Jack had given me. In addition, I had nearly been caught stealing a purse. Fortunately, I was able to run faster than my pursuers, but I knew it was only a matter of time until my luck ran out.
By mid-October I had grown desperate. Finally, shuddering, I asked Jack for details about how to sell sex.
“Are ya sure ya want t’ do that?”
“I’m sure I don’t but I just don’t see any other way. I’ve got to get that money.”
Jack told me what little he knew, and the next evening I was standing on a street corner in town trying to get up the courage to make contact with a john. My heart was pounding and every time I saw a man I broke into a cold sweat. I let several men pass by. One man in a car stopped, lowered his window and beckoned to me, but I was terrified so I turned my back and walked away. I knew I was being a wimp, but I was really afraid.
Finally I steeled myself and, as a man approached, I asked with a shaky voice, “Hey, Mister. Do you want to have a little fun?” Even I thought that was a pretty corny line.
I was praying hard that he would keep walking but he went a few steps, stopped, turned, and looked at me for several seconds before asking, “What did you have in mind?”
“I could give you a nice blow job in your car for $15,” I offered, hesitantly, hoping he’d refuse.
“How do I know you’re not working for the cops and wearing a microphone?”
“I’d never work for cops. And I’m not wearing a bug,” I replied, afraid I’d lose what little courage I had.
“Come around the corner of the building out of the light,” the man said.
“Why?”
“So I can check for a microphone.”
Reluctantly, I followed him. When we arrived in the shadows, the man said, “Now raise your shirt.”
I did. In the shadowy darkness the man passed his hands all over my chest, my stomach, my sides, my neck, and my back. I wondered if he was getting his jollies feeling me up and how soon he’d get to my groin. But the man stopped, said he was satisfied and commented, “I’ve always thought a blow job in a car was pretty sordid. What would you charge to come to my house for the night?”
I thought hard, not knowing if I could trust him. The man, sensing my distrust, said, “I promise you’ll be safe. I’m not into hurting kids. I’ll bring you right back here tomorrow morning. So I nodded and suggested $50, thinking he’d refuse it because it was too much. But he agreed and invited me to walk to the car.
In the car the man said, “I’m Walter.”
“Shit!” I exclaimed. “That was my father’s name.”
“Was? Did he die? Do you miss him?”
“No. He didn’t die, but I hate him!”
“Well, why not call me ‘George,’ which is my middle name?”
“OK,” I replied. “I’m Willy.”
“How old are you, Willy?”
“Eighteen,” I lied.
He looked at me sideways as he was driving. “You don’t need to lie to me, Willy. You can trust me.” So I told him I was fifteen.
After driving for a few more minutes, George asked, “Have you been doing this for long?”
I thought about lying again, but then answered, “No. This is actually my first time.”
“Are you telling me you’re a virgin?”
“I’m not sure what a virgin is.”
When he told me, I admitted, “Not exactly. I had a boyfriend, a lover. We were pretty young, but we did some things together. But then I got thrown out of my house because I’m gay, so I came to Grantham. My first day here I was raped by a homeless man. That was awful! Since then, I’ve just done a little oral sex with a friend of mine.” George looked a bit concerned. “Don’t worry,” I said. “We’ve both been checked out at the hospital and we’re clean.”
“So you’ve never done it for money before?” I shook my head.
“How long have you been homeless?” asked George. I told him and then answered questions about the blizzard and the shelter. I found I was beginning to actually like the man. He seemed so kind and gentle. But I still wasn’t looking forward to what could happen at his house.
A few minutes later he asked, “Are you hungry?”
“Yes, but I don’t have any money.”
“That’s OK. This is on me.” He pulled the car into a fast-food drive-through and ordered.
As I drank some Coke, I began to relax and managed to carry on a conversation for the rest of the way to his house. I told him about Jack and Dexter and about my family, especially Adam, of whom I was very proud.
When we pulled into George’s street, I saw the sign said “Mystic Road”. His house was number 49. In the house we were greeted by two basset hounds, Franklin and Eleanor. George invited me to sit down and finish eating.
When I finished eating, my heart began to thud in my chest again and my cold sweat returned. I looked up at him and asked, “Do you want me to get undressed now?”
Thoughtfully the man said, “No. I don’t think I do. Tell me, if you’ve gone this long without selling yourself, why are you doing it now?”
I explained how I needed money so I could go to Dexter in Florida.
“The one you called a lover?”
I nodded. “Yes, sir. I do love him and I miss him terribly.”
George thought a little more. “OK, Willy, I’ve been thinking ever since you told me you’d never done sex for money. You know, I was married for over thirty years to a wonderful woman. Before that, I played around, sometimes having sex with men, sometimes with women. When you caught me on the street tonight I was feeling especially lonely. I looked at you and thought, ‘God, he’s beautiful!’ Then I decided, ‘What the hell. Why not?’ Now I know why not. There’s no way I could take advantage of a vulnerable kid like you who’s never sold himself before for my own satisfaction.”
I suppose I looked worried, because he continued, “Don’t worry. I told you I’d give you the money for coming to my house, which you did. I will give you the money and I will take you back, like I promised. How much do you need for the bus ticket?” I told him. He thought briefly and then said, “OK. In the morning we’ll go to the bank and I’ll get $200. Then we’ll go to the bus station and buy your ticket. You don’t have to do anything for it except promise me that you won’t ever sell yourself for sex. It’s just not worth it.”
I was astounded. “Are you sure?” I asked. “I’ll do it with you if you want.”
“I really don’t,” said George. “Just make me the promise.” I did and George led me to his guest room, showing me a robe hanging on the inside of the closet door. The two dogs followed us. George suggested that I might like a nice hot shower, and offered to wash my clothes so they’d be clean in the morning. Then he and Franklin left the room while Eleanor remained behind, jumping up on the bed and making herself at home.
I sat on the bed for a few minutes patting the dog and putting my face down to her muzzle, receiving her huge, slobbery kisses. Then she rolled over on her back to have her stomach rubbed and I complied, enjoying the companionship. Maybe I should get a dog, I mused. I sat thinking about the man’s offer. I never knew there were such generous people in the world!…And he even called me “beautiful”!
When I finished rubbing Eleanor’s stomach, I took off my filthy clothes and put on the robe. Taking the clothes and followed by Eleanor, I went back into the kitchen, where George was sitting. George took the clothes and showed me to the bathroom.
After luxuriating in a long, hot shower, I slowly dried myself off. Then I stood looking at myself in the mirror. George probably wouldn’t think I was so beautiful if he saw how skinny I was, I thought. Then I put the robe back on, and, passing through the kitchen on my way to the guest room, I thanked George for his kindness. Eleanor followed me. Soon, I was nestled down in clean, warm sheets, Eleanor lying by my side.
For some time I tossed and turned. The bed was wonderfully comfortable, but I was unable to sleep. I thought about jerking off, but didn’t really want to. After nearly an hour, I got up, put the robe on, and went into George’s room, Eleanor following dutifully behind. Franklin was on the king-sized bed with George.
Standing by the bed and gazing down at George and Franklin I finally said quietly, “George?”
“What?” came a muffled voice from beneath the blankets.
“I can’t sleep. I’m not used to being in a room by myself and it makes me nervous. Could I get in with you? We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”
Turning over, George replied, “Good Lord. I never thought I’d be asked by a beautiful young man if he could join me in bed just to sleep.”
“Can I?”
After a moment’s hesitation, George pushed the blankets away from the other side of the bed and said, “Climb in.” Eleanor jumped up and I climbed in, the two dogs snuggling between me and George. Eleanor gave me another kiss, and soon I was off to the best sleep I’d had since I left home.
In the morning I didn’t wake up until nearly 10:00 o’clock. Eleanor was still on the bed and she gave me a Good Morning kiss. I took another long, hot shower before I put on my clean though tattered clothes. George had even tried to mend them in a few places.
After we had breakfast, I said goodbye to the dogs. George drove to a drive-through ATM, got some money, and then we went to the bus station.
George parked the car and we walked in together. He asked what date I wanted the ticket for. I explained that Dexter wouldn’t be in Florida until Thanksgiving, so I suggested November 25. He purchased the ticket. Out on the sidewalk he handed it to me and said, “Now, remember your promise.”
“Yes, sir, but how can I ever thank you?”
“By keeping your promise and by keeping yourself safe.”
With that, we walked back his car and he drove me to the street corner where we had met. Impulsively, I reached over and gave him a long, hard, loving hug. He was surprised for a moment, but then he hugged me back.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I said into the man’s neck.
“You’re very welcome. It’s not often I get to bring two people in love together.” With that, I got out of the car and waved as George drove off.
I sat on the curb for awhile, sobbing. A man stopped and asked if he could help me. “N…n…no thank you, s…s…sir, I’m just so h…h…h…happy right now I’m crying. I’ll b…be fine.”
He smiled and walked off.
That night, I told Jack the whole story, about making contact with George, about George deciding we weren’t going to do anything, and about what George had done for me.
“He really gave you the ticket for not havin’ sex with him? How did you get so lucky? If that’d been me, I’d probably have been beaten and raped.”
“I know, I am lucky…Do you want a little action before we go to sleep?” Jack nodded and the two of us sixty-nined happily before lying back and nodding off.