Who Am I?

Chapter 10

Raphael and I enjoyed lounging around Fort Lauderdale for the next ten days. During that time, among other things, we talked about going to college in Florida. Raphael had no idea at that point how he would finance college, but he was sure that he wanted to go, and we had time to work that out.

Most days we spent at least part of our time on the beach, and early afternoons often found us in bed. We knew there were other beaches, but we weren’t into exploring. While at first we had been a bit embarrassed by our Speedos with obvious packages showing, we quickly adapted and enjoyed swimming in the ocean and basking on the beach.

There was always a volleyball game going, and sometimes we joined in. Alejandro was often there. He was friendly to us but no longer tried to lure us to his apartment.

Of course, we bought way too many souvenirs, some to keep and some to give as gifts to family.

All too soon it was time for us to return north. Dad and Paul drove us to the airport in Paul’s car. I was quite teary as we said our goodbyes, but we promised we would return soon.

The flight home was uneventful and soon we were back with our families. Mom had a lot of questions about our trip, some of them about Dad and Paul. Just to tease her a little, I told her about Alejandro, which properly shocked her.

“So, your father and Paul are longtime partners?” she asked.

“Well, to be accurate, they’re married and husbands.”

Mom expressed her disapproval of gay marriage, and I thought to myself, ‘Wait a while. Raphael and I are planning to marry when the time’s right.’ I didn’t say that aloud of course, because I knew she wasn’t ready to hear it.

School began right after Labor Day. We were juniors that year. Billy had graduated and gotten a job working for his father’s construction company. The kids at our table all asked about our trip to Florida and admired our tans. They asked about Dad and Paul. We filled them in, telling them what we thought was appropriate. We also told them about Alejandro, which got them all laughing.

Raphael got a job and began setting aside money for college. He worked mostly on weekends, which curtailed our bedroom activities some, but we managed to find time and places to continue exploring sex and each other’s bodies. We had seen porn of anal sex, but neither of us was ready to try that, so we stuck to using our hands and our mouths. If it was possible, we grew even closer during the ensuing months.

I’m sure Mom and Tio and Tia were all aware of what we were doing, although nobody said anything.

On our computers we investigated the universities in Florida. We knew we needed a state university if Raphael was going to have enough financial assets to attend. We searched the web for information, especially about Florida State and the University of Florida. They seemed to have excellent and varied programs and we thought either one would be good.

One day when Raphael was with me, I said to Mom, “We’re thinking of going to college in Florida.”

“I thought that was coming,” she said. “Does this mean I’m going to lose you and never see you?”

“No, Mom, it doesn’t mean that at all. We’ll still have summers and other vacations when we can come up. Besides, summer is the nicest season here.”

“Have you discussed this with Raphael’s aunt and uncle?”

“No. We’re going there in a few minutes to talk with them.”

“I suppose I don’t have much choice but to accept it. What schools are you looking at?”

We told her about the two we were considering, and the three of us talked about the offerings at each one. Neither Raphael nor I had decided what our majors would be, but we knew that often college kids didn’t really pick a major for their first year or two.

When we left my apartment, I said to Raphael, “That was easier than I expected.” He agreed and said he hoped it would be as easy at his house.

Neither Tia nor Tio was surprised by our announcement. They were more concerned about how they could afford to send Raphael. He had maintained perfect grades so far through high school and planned to take a couple of AP courses in our senior year. He was hoping he could qualify for a scholarship. He’d also been investigating grants as well as work-study programs at the two universities.

During the summer, while we were visiting Dad and Paul, we took tours of both campuses and were impressed.

In our senior year, we applied to both schools and were accepted by both. Raphael got scholarships from each, but the one from the University of Florida was more generous. We sent our acceptances to the school and turned down FSU.

* * * * * * * *

Because we would be spending most of the year in Florida, we stayed home after our senior year and planned what we needed to take. We had asked the university if we could room together, and after some hesitation and quibbling, they said yes, so we didn’t need to fear being apart.

That summer, I decided that I wanted my grandparents to finally meet Raphael. I knew they hadn’t changed their minds about gay boys, and I had no idea how they felt about Mexicans. I called and told them that I wanted them to meet Raphael. At first, they refused. I tried three times before they agreed. When I took Raphael to their house, he was very nervous, but he managed to overcome his shyness and so charmed them that before we left, they’d invited him for Sunday dinner.

With Dad’s suggestions and help, I purchased a car. I checked the used car market and finally settled on a three-year-old, gently-used SUV, which would have enough space for Raphael and me and our belongings.

Mom cried when it was time for us to leave, but I promised we’d be back at Christmas, although we’d probably fly rather than drive.

The trip was about 1300 miles, so we took two days and divided the driving.

I suppose all freshmen at universities, especially big ones, are somewhat confused when they arrive. Following a map of the campus, we drove first to our dorm and unpacked the car. We were met by a resident advisor who showed us the room and where we could find things. He told us about meals, saying they would start with lunch the next day. He also told us where the bookstore was and that if we went there early, there might be decent used copies of the books we’d need at significantly lower prices.

We’d both received book lists for the courses we’d be taking, so we headed over to the store and indeed found some less expensive copies which weren’t too badly marked by previous owners.

That night, our first in the dorm, we quietly moved our two beds together and enjoyed a wonderful, leisurely cuddle and sex.

By our second year, we had both chosen majors. I’d decided I wanted to study history, especially African history, which fascinated me. Raphael had decided to study international relations. Both majors would need more than undergrad degrees, so we settled in for the long haul.

We moved to an off-campus apartment which gave us more freedom than the dorm although we had to learn to cook. I could do basic things and Raphael showed skills with Mexican food, which is good but can be fattening. I put on a little weight, but Raphael managed to keep his slim, sexy figure.

That was the year we began to explore each other’s butts. At first, we just used our fingers, but eventually we moved on to full anal sex. The first time I fucked him, it was so passionate and wonderful we wondered why we had waited so long.

On long weekends and holidays like Thanksgiving, we drove to Fort Lauderdale and spent time with Dad and Paul. As the years went on, we discussed marriage, and they were both approving and helpful.

Tia and Tio had told Raphael early on that high school romances seldom lasted, but Raphael and I continued to be the exception. Our love just kept growing stronger and stronger. Oh, we had arguments occasionally, but we were always able to work them out through talking and compromise.

We flew Mom and Tio and Tia down for our graduation. Somehow, Mom and Dad managed to avoid each other. Mom, who hadn’t been to Florida since the divorce, suggested that if we decided to settle there, she might move back to the state.

Raphael and I both became perpetual students. We got our masters’ degrees and in time, our doctorates. I managed to get a job teaching African history at a small college while Raphael landed a job in Miami, not too far away from mine.

* * * * * * * *

Although we had known for years that we wanted to marry, we really hadn’t had the time until then to form a plan. We found a lovely park which we thought would be suitable. We located an accomplished string quartet to provide music and a Unitarian minister who agreed to marry us.

When we broached the subject to Mom, she overcame her initial reluctance to be present. Tio and Tia also said they wanted to be at the wedding. I offered to fly them down and, after some hemming and hawing, they agreed. We arranged for them to stay at our apartment, and we planned to stay with Paul and Dad. My grandparents decided they were too old to make the trip, but to my surprise, they sent us their blessings.

On the day our families arrived, we met them at the airport and took them to the apartment. It had two bedrooms, one of which we had to clear out because we’d been using it as a computer room. When everyone had settled in, we took them out to an early supper. Mom had known Tia and Tio for several years by then, and we were happy they all got on together.

While they were in Florida, Mom talked to a real estate agent, and before she left, she had rented a small place in a nice part of the town where I taught.

The wedding was perfect—just as we’d planned it. The weather cooperated and even provided a nice, gentle breeze so nobody got too hot. Many of our friends from the universities and our jobs attended.

When it ended, we prepared to leave for our honeymoon in Key West, a place we’d heard about but never visited.

One nice thing that grew out of our wedding was that Dad and Mom began to talk, and before Mom flew back north, they had become good friends. That alone made it worth flying Mom to Florida.

We had a lovely time in Key West, exploring the many shops and restaurants. The landlord where we stayed was clearly and happily gay. He provided a nude swimming pool which we thoroughly enjoyed, and we vowed we’d return often. Of course the nights in bed were as passionate as they had ever been. We alternated who was on top because we both liked both positions.

One night when we lay in bed recovering from our exertions, I asked, “Can you believe this?”

“No,” replied Raphael, “but if it’s a dream, don’t wake me up.”

And so, our lives settled down to many, many years of love and happiness. Yes, we enjoyed sex together, especially since we’d discovered each other’s rear entrances, but our lives were so much more than sex. We believed that we had been made for each other, and nobody we knew disputed that.