In the afternoon, Walter, with Kieran sitting reluctantly beside him, drove all the way to Fort Kent, hoping that, with the longer drive, he could get at least one of the two boys to talk. Although Walter tried to get Kieran talking, the boy remained silent.
As students poured out of the school, Kieran suddenly said, “Wait a minute,” and jumped out of the truck. Walter watched him walk toward a girl. He thought the girl looked familiar, but he couldn’t place her. She turned when Kieran called her, smiled, and flung her arms around him. The two hugged for some time before breaking apart.
Walter thought, “Now that’s a surprise! I wonder if Kieran has shared this with Isaiah.”
Kieran took the girl’s hand and walked with her back to the truck. Opening the door, he said, “Walter, this is Catherine. She helped take care of me in the hospital and we…well…we really like each other,” he blurted out.
Walter smiled and said, “I can tell. Well, it’s good t’ meet ya, Catherine.” The three of them chatted for a minute before Walter became aware of Isaiah, who had been walking toward the truck but had stopped when he saw what was going on.
Kieran looked up, saw Isaiah, and said quietly to Catherine, “You’d probably better go now. My brother’s not too happy about us. I’ll see ya again soon.”
Catherine nodded and left, carefully looking straight ahead.
When Isaiah got to the truck he said sarcastically, “Well, wasn’t that just the sweetest thing!”
Walter responded, “Shut up an’ get in the truck.”
Isaiah looked surprised for a moment and then began to head toward the back of the truck, but Walter told him to get in the cab. He and Kieran scooted over to make room. Isaiah climbed in sullenly, closed the door, and sat staring out the window.
On the way to the cabin, Walter again tried to get one or both boys to talk but had no success. When they were inside the cabin, Walter told the two boys to sit on the couch. They did, as far apart as possible.
“Now,” Walter began, “does this argument have anythin’ t’ do with Catherine?”
Kieran said, “Well, sorta.”
Turning to his son, Walter asked, “Okay, what’s the problem?”
Isaiah said nothing.
Kieran said, “C’mon! Y’ve gotta talk. Walter says we’re gonna sit here until he knows what’s happened. We can’t even go t’ pee or t’ eat.”
Isaiah said nothing.
Walter said to him, “Tell me what the problem is.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Well, I guess it’s really embarrassing t’ talk about and I just don’t wanna.”
“D’ ya wanna sit here all night?”
“No!” Isaiah was silent for a bit before saying, “Why does he have to be here? Everything was fine here until he moved in.”
“Then I’ll move out,” Kieran rejoined.
“No, ya won’t,” Walter said. “We’ll get this straightened out and we’ll do it right here and right now.” Turning to his son he asked, “Does this have anything t’do with what you boys were doin’ in the woods?”
“How the hell could he know that?” Kieran wondered. But aloud he said, “Sorta.”
“Sorta!” exploded Isaiah. It has everything to do with that.”
“So tell him,” said Kieran.
“You!” said Isaiah.
“You!” said Kieran, and he punched Isaiah gently in the shoulder.
“You!” said Isaiah, punching back.
“No, you!” Kieran punched harder this time.
“You!” and Isaiah punched back harder yet. By this time he was struggling to control his anger.
“You!” Kieran punched again. Then he began to cry and laugh at the same time.
“You!” Isaiah punched back, and suddenly he too was crying, great heaving sobs.
Kieran reached over and took him in his arms and held him as Isaiah wept. Gently, Kieran rubbed his back, whispering in his ear, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I love ya and we’ll get through this together.”
When Isaiah’s sobs lessened, he looked toward Walter and said through his tears, “Damn, how can I stay mad at this idiot?”
Kieran answered quietly, “Ya can’t because we love each other. Yer embarrassed. We both are, but I guess we owe Walter the truth.”
So they told Walter about their sex in the woods. Walter had heard a bit of it earlier from Isaiah, but this time they went into more detail.
Isaiah, added, "I guess I misread the signs from Kieran and I thought that he was leading me along.”
Finally, Walter said, “I can see this has been embarrassin’ t’ talk about, but I still don’t understand why yer mad.”
“Because,” Isaiah said, “you haven’t heard the most embarrassing part.”
“Which is?”
After a long pause, he mumbled, “I’m gay, and I thought Kieran was too, but he’s not.”
Walter pondered that for a bit. “And yer mad because…?”
“Because like I said I thought he was leading me along and maybe even making fun of me, so I was really, really pissed.”
“But I wasn’t doin’ that,” put in Kieran.
“I know that now, but last night what you told me came as a complete shock.” He turned toward Kieran. “I had all these plans. I thought we could live together in the cabin and do stuff, you know, like we were married or something. I so wanted you Kieran. I still do. I thought about you every day and every night. I dreamed of being your lover. And then, all my dreams got shot down in an instant.” By that time, both boys were crying again, and Walter was struggling with tears in his eyes also.
“D’ ya think we could live here together just as brothers?” asked Kieran.
“I dunno. I think every night I’d want you in my bed, and I’d be so damned frustrated.”
“Don’t ya think you’ll find someone else in time?”
“Not to match you. No.”
Turning to his son, Walter said quietly, “I do get how hard it was for ya to tell me yer gay, and I want ya to know that I’m fine with that. I don’t give a damn what ya are. Gay or straight, yer my son and I love ya.”
Isaiah stared at Walter. “That’s the first time you’ve ever said that.”
“I know, and I’m sorry about that. I wish I’d said it a lot sooner. I can see how livin’ with Kieran could be frustratin’ for ya, but let me make a suggestion.”
Both boys looked at him inquiringly.
“Part of why it would be so frustratin’ is that you’d be sleepin’ in the same room. Would it help if we built another room on the cabin so the two of ya could have separate rooms?”
“I dunno,” said Isaiah.
“Would it be worth a try?”
He finally nodded.
“Kieran, would ya be okay with that?”
“If I can’t live outside, then yeah, I guess I would be.”
“Here’s the idea,” said Walter. “We could build a room on the back that would be like an Adirondack shelter with three sides and open on the fourth side. But then we could close that side, like with big doors, when it got too cold.”
“That could work,” said Kieran, lighting up at the thought. “Then we could spend as much time together as we wanted but we wouldn’t be right on top of each other.”
“Literally,” his brother chimed in, laughing.
“What if I wanted to bring a guy here?” asked Isaiah.
“Then ya could, of course,” said Kieran, “just like I could bring Catherine if I wanted. Right, Walter?”
Walter nodded. “Sounds good t’ me.”
So it was agreed. However, they then had to solve the problem of what to do until the room was built. Walter suggested that he could sleep in the living room and Kieran could sleep in his room. Neither boy wanted that.
“Here’s an idea,” said Kieran. “How about if we took turns on the couch? I’d be fine with that. And of course there’s always the possibility that Isaiah wouldn’t be so frustrated after he got used to the situation.”
Walter and Isaiah agreed and then Walter said, “Well, I guess I gotta get supper started. Baked beans and hotdogs and spinach okay with ya two?”
This had become such a joke by now that the two boys both laughed and said “Yes!” Before they raced outside to pee.
After a supper of hamburgers, corn, and potatoes, the boys did dishes together. Then the three of them set to work designing the addition to the cabin. Walter sketched a plan incorporating all their ideas and also enlarging the small bedroom which the boys had been using to make more room.
One day, after tempers and feelings cooled, Kieran said to Isaiah, “We gotta talk t’ Walter about his PTSD.”
Isaiah sighed and said, “Okay. I guess today is as good a time to do it as any.”
So after supper that night, as they were sitting at the table, Isaiah said, “Dad, we have something we wanna talk about with you.”
Walter looked a little puzzled, but said, “Okay. Shoot.”
“We both think you should get some help with the PTSD. I looked it up online at school, and there are therapies and medications which can really help you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
By the time he finished talking, Walter’s face was red with anger. “How many times do I have t’ tell you boys I don’t wanna talk about it?”
“Well,” Kieran said, “we do. What’s hurting you is now beginnin’ t’ hurt us too. It hurts when we hear ya’ cry out at night. It hurts t’ know yer sufferin’. It hurts t’ think we can’t do anything t’ help ya except t’ keep badgerin’ ya about it.”
Walter got up from the table and went outside. The two boys did the dishes and then talked quietly in the living room.
Finally, Walter returned, sat down and said, “I’m sorry, boys. I thought this was just hurtin’ me. I sure don’t wanna keep hurtin’ ya. An’ I do remember what ya said earlier, Kieran, about hidin’ from my problem. Let me think on it. Okay?
The boys nodded and they all went to bed.
In the spring, both boys got their drivers’ licenses. Sometimes Kieran would drive into Fort Kent and spend an evening with Catherine.
Meanwhile, Isaiah and Phillip began spending more time together. They became really good friends, and Isaiah sometimes spent nights at Phillip’s house, sleeping on an inflatable mattress in Phillip’s room. But that’s as far as it went. Isaiah did enjoy getting to know Phillip’s family. It was the first time in his life that he had spent with an unbroken family, and he enjoyed them all.
Walter began work on the changes to the cabin, which became redolent with the sweet smell of fresh-sawed pine. On the weekends they all worked together. When the project was finished, they celebrated with—you guessed it—steak but with the addition of a bottle of Champagne, the first that either of the boys had tasted.
Isaiah still had another year of high school before he had to decide whether or not to go to college. He continued to run cross country races. Now that he could drive it was easier for him to get to them, and sometimes Kieran and Walter came to cheer him on.
In early November, Phillip visited the cabin for the first time. He spent the day and stayed for supper, but he didn’t spend the night, although he promised to return soon.
When he left and the two boys were talking on the porch, Kieran asked, “So what’s the story on Phillip? Is he gay?”
Isaiah answered, “I doubt it. Have you ever heard of a gay football player? He’s just a nice guy and I enjoy spending time with him.”
Phillip did come to the cabin again, several times through the winter, and he usually spent the night.
After Phillip left one time, Kieran asked, “Well, does he replace me?”
“God no! No one will ever replace you. You were my first great love and I’ll never forget the time we spent together. I still love you, you know.”
Catherine also came to visit, but just for the day.
Isaiah finally decided to go to the University of Maine and study forestry. Phillip was also going to the University to study physical education, so they signed up to be roommates.
The boys persisted in keeping after Walter about getting some help, but he continued to resist the idea.
One night, Kieran, who was sleeping in his own room with the doors open, suddenly woke up. For a moment he lay there, trying to get his bearings. Then he jerked fully awake and hurried to Isaiah’s room. Shaking Isaiah, he said urgently, “Wake up! Wake up! I smell smoke.”
In an instant Isaiah was awake and smelled it too. They both rushed to Walter’s room and woke him up. When he smelled the smoke he said, “Damn! Which way’s the wind blowing?”
Kieran, who always seemed to know these things said, “From the east.”
“Damn!” said Walter again. “We gotta get outta here. You got five minutes t’ pack up whatever ya need t’ save and then get in the truck.”
Hurrying as fast as he could, Isaiah threw things in a duffle bag. Even then, he took nearly ten minutes making decisions. He raced out to the truck to find Kieran and Walter already there. But what surprised him was a wall of flame at the eastern edge of the meadow lighting up the blackness of the night.
Even as he jumped into the truck while it started to pull away, the flames came roaring across the meadow towards them.
“Damn!” exclaimed Walter for the third time. “I knew there was a forest fire around, but last night the wind was from the south, so I thought it would blow north of us.”
Driving as fast as he could, Walter tore down the old dirt track, paying no attention to the potholes and bumps as he drove. The headlights picked up the swirling smoke. They could hear the roar of the fire as it ate through the woods. Orange and yellow flames began to lick the trees to their left, and before they got to the end of the road, flames had jumped across it to the trees on their right, making a tunnel of flame as they drove through.
Just as they turned onto the next road, a huge tree fell across the road behind them. Isaiah was terrified. “What if that tree had fallen in front of us?” he wondered. “What if we can’t get out of this?”
The flames looked alive as they raced through the trees and reached out toward the truck. The roar of the flames was deafening; the scene was something from hell.