Grandpa’s funeral was a simple yet wonderful event. During the service, many people spoke about him, about people he had helped, about his kindness, his sense of humor, and his self-reliance. We sang his favorite hymns, ending with “Abide with me.” We cried and laughed and the church seemed to be a very warm, comforting place.
Following the service we made our way to the farm and the family burial plot where a hole had been dug next to Grandma’s grave with Tiger’s grave on her other side. Maryanne stood on one side of me and my brothers on the other, anchored by Josh. The minister said a few words and the plain wood coffin was lowered into the ground. I took a shovel and sadly put in the first dirt, once again hearing the finality of the dirt striking the coffin. I was followed by my brothers and Josh. Then others helped until the grave was filled. The flowers from the church had been brought and they were placed on all three graves.
We all trooped back to our house where the ladies of the church had prepared a reception. More stories were told; more tears were shed; more laughter rang out. Before she left, Maryanne gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, telling me how sorry she was about Grandpa.
And then everybody was gone, leaving just the four of us boys. Suddenly, the house seemed empty. I had tried not to think about the future but now I knew I had to; we all had to. I didn’t know how we were going to survive with Grandpa gone and I felt a huge burden as the future loomed before me, unknowable and frightening.
Josh fixed a light meal which was really needed, because, although there was a lot of food at the reception, none of us had eaten much. As we ate we were all pretty quiet. I think each of us was thinking his own private thoughts about Grandpa.
Now that Grandpa was gone, Josh’s parents wanted him to return home. At first he protested but finally agreed to be home during the week if he could be at the farm on the weekends.
Josh’s father offered to be our guardian, and so the legal work was done and it became official. It really didn’t mean a lot except that he came to the farm at least once a week to check on us and he was an adult we could call on for help or advice. That was a relief to me but there was still a lot to figure out.
I returned to school because there really wasn’t that much to do on the farm. One of the first people I saw was Maryanne, who greeted me with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Of course I rejoined The Faggot Table in the lunch room and life at school went on as before.
At home I took care of most of the meals and went back to milking and mucking out the cows while Derek and Teddy did their chores. Deciding it was time they learned to cook I began to teach them. Sometimes they did really well; sometimes they burned or undercooked things. But we always ate what they prepared and nobody seemed to suffer.
A few weekends later, when Josh and I were sitting in the kitchen after my brothers had gone to bed, Josh asked what my plans were for the future. “Well, I’ve been looking for online agricultural degrees and I found that Oregon State offers an online Bachelor’s degree in Agricultural Science. I thought I could stay home and work the farm and still learn about more modern techniques. What about you?”
“Would it surprise you if I said I want to stay on the farm too?”
It certainly did. “Yeah. The last I knew you wanted to live in a city with a lot more gay people.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot since then. Probably the main reason I wanted to do that was that I figured in a city I’d have a much better chance of finding a gay partner. But,” he continued, smiling, “I’ve found the only gay partner I ever want. So I too decided to get online and find out what was available. Colorado State offers a degree in Agricultural Business which I thought might help us a lot. So I think that’s what I’m gonna do.”
I was overjoyed. I kissed him again and again, telling him over and over that I loved him. We went to bed and enjoyed wonderful cuddling and sex before we went to sleep.
At Christmas time, we were all invited to Josh’s house for presents and dinner. After doing the chores the three of us piled into the truck and drove to town. On our way we delivered small gifts to the Phillipses to thank them for all their help.
My brothers and I had each made or bought gifts for Josh’s parents as well as Josh because they had been so kind to us. We all enjoyed opening presents, exclaiming over each one. There were many hugs all around. Teddy had finally gotten to the point where he could be patient and watch each person open his or her present before going on to the next one.
We had a delicious roast turkey dinner with all the trimmings — sweet potatoes, onions, beans, and, of course, a homemade apple pie for dessert. Finally, shouting our thanks and farewells, the three of us climbed again into the truck and headed for home.
The winter was a fierce one. Of course we had rigged the rope line between the house and the barn but it was sometimes a struggle to get between the two. We were always very careful. Teddy usually stayed in the house because the snow was so deep. Derek often came with me, but as the snow got deeper the trip grew increasingly difficult for him. Nevertheless, he was determined and never complained. After each storm we shoveled the walk between the two buildings and I plowed out to the road.
On the third weekend in January the weather forecast sounded grim, calling for up to 18 inches of snow and winds up to 70 miles an hour. Josh was with us, but he had promised he would go home to help shovel out his driveway and walk.
The snow began earlier than we expected. At first it fell straight down in huge wet flakes. Just as Josh was thinking he’d better head home, the winds came up and began blowing the snow so hard it was difficult to see more than about ten feet away.
Our phone rang and Teddy answered, then gave the receiver to Josh. Josh listened for a few minutes before saying “OK,” and hanging up.
“Dad thinks the storm has already gotten too bad for me to drive so he wants me to stay here until the roads get cleared.”
I was privately thankful because I wasn’t sure I could manage in such a deep storm with such high winds. Hanging on to the rope, Derek and I slogged our way out to the barn with the snow blowing fiercely in our faces. After we finished the chores we slogged back. It seemed as though no matter what direction we went the wind was blowing straight at us. We arrived back at the house covered with snow and with frozen faces. We thawed out in front of the stove and drank hot cocoa with marshmallows.
The boys were nervous about all the wind blowing. I went upstairs and it sounded as though a squadron of prop planes was passing through the attic, so I told them they could bring their blankets down and sleep in the living room.
After they settled down, with Charlie and Teddy of course between them, Josh and I talked quietly in the kitchen. At one point I went up to the computer to try for the latest weather forecast. It was still grim and it said that the snow would continue at least until the next afternoon.
In our bedroom, we quickly undressed and lay beside each other. Josh smiled and said, “I’ve never fucked in a snowstorm before. How about it?” I smiled and nodded so he went to the dresser and got the lubricant. We hugged, tonguing each other slowly and passionately, then did our usual cuddling and kissing every part of each other’s bodies. When we were ready and Josh had lubricated me I felt the erotic touch of his cut tip prodding my hole. Very gently he eased in and slowly pushed as far as he could. At last he pulled slowly nearly all the way out before moving in again, touching and passing my prostate as he went. As always I could feel the delicious tension rising in my body. I loved the feeling of him inside me, stroking me. He continued moving slowly in and out for some time until finally asking if I was ready. When I nodded, he began to thrust a little more quickly and powerfully. As usual, I was incredibly hard and ready to come. He went faster and harder until he slowed and then pushed in hard all the way. Once again I felt him throbbing inside me, the most awesome feeling I could imagine. He grasped my cock and that’s all it took for me to come all over my chest and even my chin.
When we were finished, he withdrew and before I could clean myself he licked the cum off my chest groaning, “Ummm. Ummm. Ummm.”
Fully drained, in more ways than one, we fell into a deep sleep. At some point in the night, Teddy came in saying he was scared of the wind which was still howling like a dozen banshees outside. I told him to bring in his blankets and sleep beside our bed. He did, leaving the door open so Derek would know where he was.
Teddy’s presence rather inhibited our customary morning mutual jerkoffs. We got up and went quietly into the bathroom where we satisfied each other before emerging and dressing for the day.
The boys woke up as we were dressing, got themselves dressed, and then Derek began to put his parka on. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“Getting ready to do the chores.”
“I think you’d better stay here. Josh’ll help me.”
“But Greg, I really wanna go out and see what it’s like. I can do it.”
I looked at Josh who just shrugged his shoulders, so foolishly I agreed. We had a difficult time opening the door. Although it was protected by the porch a lot of snow had blown up against it. Finally, by brute force, I was able to get it open enough to slip out and clear away the snow that was holding it.
I went first, holding the rope line and Derek followed right behind. Because it was so dark, I had brought a large flashlight, but it did no good at all; there was a complete whiteout. I couldn’t even see the rope I was holding. Using my body like a plow I heard Derek struggling against the snow behind me. I kept calling to him and he called back, but the wind was whipping his voice away so I could barely hear him.
When we got to the barn I used my boots and my gloved hands to clear a space so I could slide the door open. Inside, the animals were restless. I think the wind was freaking them out. We went from stall to stall, milking the cows and mucking the stalls. Then we fed the cows and the chickens. We left the eggs because we had no way to carry them, and we had to leave the milk in the barn where I assumed it would quickly freeze.
When we returned to the barn door there was already snow piled up against it, and I feared for a moment we might be trapped there, but I finally managed to force it open. I grabbed the rope and Derek began to follow me back to the house. I called several times and he answered, but the last time his voice seemed very distant. I assumed that was the wind. When I got to the house and opened the door, I looked behind me and there was no Derek.
Oh, shit! I thought. I never should have let him come. I told Josh what had happened and he quickly put on his parka and followed me back out, leaving just Teddy in the house. “Start melting snow and putting it into the tub!” I called to Teddy as I closed the door.
We inched our way along the rope, calling constantly but not hearing Derek. We went all the way to the barn but didn’t find him. Heading back again we got about halfway when there was a sudden lull in the wind and we heard a faint, “Help! Help” coming from somewhere off to our left. I told Josh to stay where he was and keep calling while I headed towards the sound.
Instantly, the wind came up again. Josh and I were barely able to keep in communication, and just before I got beyond the sound of his voice, I heard Derek calling. I called to him and kept calling. Soon he came plowing through the snow, which by then was almost chest high on him. He was moving his arms as though he was doing the breast stroke, brushing away the snow in front of him. Tears were running down his cheeks as he fell into my arms. I could feel him shaking but didn’t know whether that was from cold or fear.
Calling to Josh we made our way back to him, with Derek going first. I put Derek between Josh and me and we forged our way back to the house. As soon as we got into the house I told Derek to take off all of his clothes and wrap himself in a blanket. Teddy had hot water in the tub and was getting more, so as soon as there was enough I told Derek to climb in. He was shivering as he got in, even though he’d been standing beside the stove. The hot water on his cold skin must have hurt at first but after a couple of tentative tries he was in. I had him submerge as much of himself as he could and then I poured hot water over his head and shoulders. Meanwhile, Josh took over for Teddy bringing and melting more snow. Slowly, Derek stopped shivering. Teddy took up a place beside him, holding his hand, while Charlie stood anxiously beside Teddy.
Looking up at me Derek said, “I was so…so scared! I thought I was gonna die!”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Well, you saw the way I was using my hands to move through the snow?” I nodded. “On the way back from the barn I started to do that with one hand. Then I thought, Well, the rope’s right here I can use the other hand. So I let go. Just then the wind blew a huge mass of snow right in my face. When I got that cleaned off, I couldn’t find the rope any more. I headed towards where I thought the house was, but your voice kept getting fainter, so I knew I was wrong. So I just stopped and prayed you’d come back.” At that he burst into tears again.
When Derek finally got out of the tub I dried him and hugged him close, murmuring, “You’re safe, now, Derek. You know I would never have left you out there alone.”
He nodded, wiping away a few final tears. I was worried about frostbite on his face and extremities. His hands and feet seemed to be OK, but his face was bright red. I got some cream and slathered it on his face liberally as he giggled.
In the late afternoon, the wind finally began to die down. Josh and I went to the barn to take care of the animals. When the wind had gone down the visibility improved and we were able to see our way. Finishing our chores we each brought back a bucket. I had eggs and Josh had milk, so we were set for the night.
After dinner, as we were sitting around the table I said, “You know, until today I was really wondering whether we could do this without Grandpa. I just didn’t know whether we could survive. But now I know, as long as we have each other, we can survive just about anything.” The others noisily agreed.
We talked a little until Derek and Teddy went up to bed. Derek particularly was exhausted. When they had gone Josh said, “So you know now you can survive?”
I nodded. “Josh, I’ve never been so frightened in my life. When I left you at the rope I was afraid that I’d get lost too and both Derek and I would freeze to death. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to hear him and then see him struggling through the snow. He made some mistakes but he also did some things right and that saved his life. I guess I made mistakes too. I never should have taken him with me. So, yeah, now I know we can really rely on each other. The boys are getting older and soon Derek will be able to do a real man’s job. I think we’re gonna be OK.”
Josh squeezed my hand tightly, then rose, stood beside me, bent to my face, and kissed me passionately. “I was scared too,” he said very quietly. “I was terrified that I was gonna lose you.”
I stood and we hugged and hugged. We were both crying great silent tears.
Slowly, Josh led me to the bedroom. “We need to comfort each other,” he said. And we did.
When we finished I lay awake for a few minutes thinking of everything that had happened. We’re gonna be OK, I said to myself. And the best part of it is that Josh will always be here with me.
Then I slept.