The sun was not yet up when we were awakened by Grandpa banging on a frying pan and calling for us to get up, get dressed, and get downstairs.
Before we had breakfast, my brothers had their chores to do. Grandpa asked, “Gregory, are you going to do your chores this morning?”
“Do I have a choice?” I grumbled.
“Sure,” he replied. “You don’t have to eat.”
“That’s blackmail!” I muttered.
He actually smiled. “More like bribery, I think, but the effect’s the same.”
“Shit!” I exclaimed. “OK, show me what to do.”
Grandpa, evidently deciding to overlook my language for the moment, led me out to the barn, gave me a shovel, and said my job was to muck out the cow stalls.
“All of them?!” I protested.
“Yep. They all need it. If you’d done your chores last night there’d be less to do today. You might want to remember that in the future.”
Grumbling, I grabbed the shovel and picked up a load of manure and straw. “Where do I put it?” Grandpa showed me before returning to the house to fix breakfast.
Before going in I washed my hands at the outside pump, which was fortunate because Grandpa inspected them. I was the last of the boys to return to the house, and my breakfast was nearly cold.
“Now,” said Grandpa, “you boys need to finish and get outside to catch the school bus.”
“But it’s only 6:30,” I argued.
“Yep. That means you have five minutes. If you miss it, it’s a ten mile walk to school.”
By then, all of us were grumbling, but we cleared our plates, put them in the sink, grabbed the lunches Grandpa had made and bolted out the door and down the long drive to the road, Charlie running with us. We arrived just as the bus did. As we got on Charlie stood beside the door and then watched as the bus disappeared down the road.
It was a long, noisy ride. I was still weary and I tried to sleep, but there was too much noise, so I gazed sullenly out the window until the bus arrived at the consolidated school.
In the school office I introduced my brothers and myself. Our grandfather had made sure that we were expected, so the school secretary had our schedules ready in front of her and told us who our teachers were and where their rooms were. She suggested that I might want to deliver my brothers to their rooms before I went to my own homeroom.
Walking into Teddy’s room, we looked around at the children, most of whom were wearing overalls or Levi’s, even the girls. Teddy’s teacher welcomed him, showed him to a desk, and introduced him to the boy sitting next to him.
As Derek and I were going to his classroom, I observed, “My God, they look like a bunch of stupid hicks!”
“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” said Derek, hopefully.
After delivering Derek I went to my homeroom in the ninth grade, which was empty except for the teacher, who was working on some papers.
“You must be Gregory,” she said, rising and holding out her hand. “I was so sorry to hear about your parents.”
I nearly burst out crying right there but managed to control myself and mutter a thanks. She showed me where my desk and locker were and then took me to the science lab, where my class was in the middle of a lesson.
I was assigned to work at a table with another boy, who introduced himself as Josh. As we worked on the experiment we had been assigned, I noticed that all of the boys and girls were chattering happily and busily away, but Josh said nothing other than to tell me what to do.
Well, he’s a friendly hick, I thought, sarcastically. I hope I don’t have to be with him all day. But it seemed that throughout the morning, I was always assigned a desk next to Josh’s.
By lunch time I was so hungry I grabbed my lunch box from my locker and raced down to the lunch room, only to be sent back by a hall monitor who told me to walk. As a result, when I arrived, all of the tables seemed to be full except the one where Josh sat alone.
Fuck! I thought. I’m stuck with him again. I went over and sat down without saying anything while Josh ate silently across the table from me. From time to time I glanced furtively at Josh. He was a cute boy I had to admit, rather slight, with dark wavy hair which came down to his shirt collar in the back, and a narrow face and chin. He was one of the few who wasn’t wearing a T-shirt and Levis, but wore a cotton sport shirt, well pressed, and quite nice dark pants which, I realized later, were rather tight and showed off his body well.
When I finished eating, I looked around to see what I should do, then rose, threw away my napkin and plastic bags, closed my lunchbox, and went back to my locker.
The afternoon was more of the same. More classes; more Josh. Even in gym class I was paired with Josh. As I walked by another boy I heard him say under his breath, “Looks like the queer’s finally got a friend.”
I turned on the boy, grabbed his shirt and snarled, “Who are you calling a queer?”
The nonplussed boy stuttered, “J…J…J…Josh.”
Without thinking I said, “I don’t care who or what he is. Don’t ever call him that or anything like that again. Do you understand?”
The boy nodded silently.
As I stood beside Josh, he said, “Thanks, but you don’t need to defend me. Everybody knows what I am.”
“You’re gay?”
“Yeah. That’s the polite word for it. If you hang around with me you’ll get labeled too. It’s already started.”
“I really don’t give a damn. That boy is an ignorant jerk.”
Josh smiled before saying, “Well, you’ll learn he has a lot of company.” It was the first time I had seen him smile, but I soon learned to love his endearing shy grin.
On the bus home, I sat with Derek as none of the high-schoolers seemed to want to sit with me.
When we finished our chores we washed and went in to supper, where Grandpa asked how school had gone. Teddy was full of news and chattered away happily. Derek said he’d made a couple of friends and the work didn’t seem either too easy or too hard. “And,” he added, looking at me, “they may be what you called them but I don’t think they’re stupid.”
“What did you call them, Gregory?” Grandpa asked.
I shrugged and muttered, “Stupid hicks.”
Grandpa scowled for a moment and then burst out laughing. “What did you expect? Genteel boys and girls who had never done a day’s work in their lives? These are good kids, Gregory. They work hard. They don’t have much time to play, but they’re good, honest, capable kids. Get to know them before you judge them.” With that, he rose, told us to do our homework, and then worked at the sink washing the dishes.
Very weary after rising at five in the morning and putting in a long, stressful day of being the new kids at school, the three of us were ready for bed as soon as we’d finished our homework. I of course had the most, but I worked at the table until I finished, trying to keep my eyes open and my head from nodding.
When we awoke the next morning, none of us remembered going to bed the night before. Everything from supper on was a complete blur.
On the morning bus, I sat alone, across the aisle from my brothers. In the halls, nobody greeted me although I tried to say hello to a few students I recognized. In homeroom, I sat, of course, next to Josh, who said nothing but gave a barely perceptible nod.
In the lunch room, I tried to sit at a couple of empty seats only to be told that they were saved for other kids. Finally, one of the boys said with a simper, “Why don’t you sit with your friend, Josh?”
“Fuck you,” I retorted. “That’s just what I’ll do, you ignorant little shit!”
Without saying a word the boy stood and took a swing at me. I blocked the punch and swung back, catching him in the stomach. Before he could recover, a teacher grabbed me, asked my name and said I would be written up for fighting.
“What about him?” I protested.
“I didn’t see him do anything,” the teacher replied, “but you certainly punched him. Now, find a place to sit down. I don’t want any more trouble from you.”
I knew at my old school I’d have been suspended, so I was a little surprised at just being written up, but I was also relieved.
Glumly I went and sat at Josh’s table.
“I’m sorry about that,” said Josh, “but I did warn you.”
“I don’t care. He IS an ignorant little shit!”
“Maybe, but so are most of the other kids in the school. Are you going to fight them all?”
“No. I guess not. But what can I do?”
“Just ignore them like I do. At first, when they figured out I was gay, they were merciless, but now they just leave me alone. Maybe they’re afraid they’ll catch something from me,” he said, grinning. He looked at me. “Are you afraid?”
“No, I’m just confused. Where I went to school there were gay kids. There was even a club called The Gay/Straight Alliance. There were presentations in the school about gender differences and all the kids just understood that a kid is a kid and a gay kid has feelings and fears like everybody else. Why isn’t it that way here?”
“Because up here the schools aren’t as educated about it. If I didn’t have my computer I’d think I was the only gay kid in the world. At first I thought there was something terribly wrong with me but then I got online and found out I wasn’t alone. That helped me a lot.”
“Well, you may be different, but you’re certainly not bad, or awful, or diseased or anything. Why don’t we form our own little group?”
“Because you and I would be the only kids in it. Everybody else would be scared to death. Are you sure you want to be friendless here except for me?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“OK. It’s your funeral.”
I winced at the word funeral which immediately brought up memories I didn’t want to recall. “But really, they’re just ignorant. Somehow there has to be a way to educate them.”
“Well, if you think of it, let me know.”
With that, we rose, dumped our trash, and went to class.
For the rest of the day, I heard very little of my classes. I was too preoccupied with the world I had found myself in. I wished there was somebody I could talk with about the problem, but there didn’t seem to be anybody, at least anybody I trusted.
That evening I couldn’t concentrate on my homework. Josh’s smiling face kept flashing before me, and I knew things had to change but I had no idea how to do that.