I was thrilled that we were returning to the Cape. The drive seemed never ending but was in fact no longer than usual. The backup at the bridge over the Cape Cod Canal slowed us down temporarily, but once across, Grandpa followed Ashley’s directions, and soon we were pulling up beside the cottage.
The cottage had been recently cleaned, and the water had been turned on. Ashley showed Grandpa our parents’ old bedroom. He asked if it might make us uncomfortable for him to sleep there, but she assured him that it wouldn’t. We all knew he wasn’t replacing our parents; he couldn’t. Nobody could do that. But we certainly didn’t want him sleeping on the living room sofa.
We quickly moved our belongings into our rooms and changed into bathing suits. Mine barely covered the essentials, but nobody else remarked on it.
Of course, the first thing I did outside was look to see if the Gordons had arrived, but they hadn’t.
Before long we were on the beach, wading in the water and sunbathing. We decided that the water was still too cold for swimming, but we knew it would warm up and by July it would be fine. Ashley slathered suntan lotion on me and Nigel, and he did her back.
Grandpa came out wearing a bathing suit and sunglasses and carrying a towel. He asked me to put lotion on his back, which I did. Other than the night we hugged, it was the first time I’d touched more than his hand.
We lay chattering about nothing. Grandpa said, “Y’know, I could get used to this.” Nigel, Ashley, and I all grinned. When Nigel mentioned the Cape League baseball games. Grandpa sat up and asked, “There’s baseball here?”
Nigel told him about the league which was made up of college stars and said that he’d go with Grandpa to a game if he was interested.
We left the beach to get lunch, but we stayed in our bathing suits. After lunch, we renewed our sunscreen and actually ventured into the water for a few minutes. It was indeed cold, but I got used to it and swam a little way out before Ashley cautioned me not to go beyond where I could stand as the chill might cause cramps. Indeed, I soon felt my calf muscles tightening and I hobbled back to shore.
In the late afternoon we heard a car pull up at the Gordons’ cottage, and before long, Rupert was outside with me sharing my beach towel. He was wearing a bathing suit that was as skimpy as mine. We just gazed at each other and giggled. With everyone there we couldn’t do much but lie side by side and talk, surreptitiously holding hands.
Suppertime came and Ashley prepared a quick meal. Grandpa noticed that there was a charcoal grill in the shed behind the cottage and suggested that he would grill a supper for us the next night.
After supper, I went to the Gordons’ cottage. Rupert and I lay on his bed and hugged each other before he stood and began to strip. I joined him eagerly, and soon we were rubbing each other’s back as we hugged. That led to kissing and tonguing and eventually to sixty-nining, with the resultant feelings and emotions. When we finished, we again lay side by side and just enjoyed being together.
Before I left to return to my own cottage, Rupert kissed me, saying, “Garreth, I really love you. I couldn’t wait to be with you here.”
I was still uncertain about the whole love thing. I knew I liked him a lot, and I knew I liked the sex a lot, but I didn’t know if that really was love. I thought maybe I should find a way to talk with Grandpa about it.
The opportunity came two days later, when Grandpa and I were lying side by side on our towels while all the other kids were down by the water.
“Grandpa,” I began, “can I ask you something? I need some advice.”
He turned to face me and said, “Sure.”
“Well, Rupert says that he loves me, but I’m not sure whether the feelings I have for him are love. How can I tell?”
“You’ll probably just have to wait until you’re certain. He may love you, or he may just think he loves you. There is no hurry to decide. After all, you’re only 13.”
“Yeah, I just feel like he’s trying to get me to say something I’m not ready to say.”
“Have you told him?”
“Not really. Should I?”
“That’s up to you. If I were you I probably would, but I’m not, and you need to make up your own mind. But don’t let him rush you into anything you’re not ready for.”
I thanked him, walked down to the water, and plunged in.
That night, Grandpa cooked steaks on the grill. He had invited the Gordons to join us so we all feasted on steaks, corn-on-the-cob, and potato salad. At the end of the meal, Grandpa said that he was enjoying the Cape and that we could stay for the rest of the summer. We cheered.
Later in the evening I told Rupert about my conversation with Grandpa. He listened thoughtfully before saying, “It’s okay Garreth. I don’t want to rush you into anything. Let’s just see how things work out.”
“But I don’t want to disappoint you or hurt your feelings,” I said.
“I’m disappointed but you haven’t hurt my feelings. Let’s just keep doing what we’re doing for now.”
We had talked about going to Provincetown someday. Rupert and I had both heard that it was Massachusetts’ most gay-friendly town, and we wanted to see it. Not everybody in either family was interested in going, but Ashley, Rupert, one of his sisters, and I piled into Grandpa’s car and Ashley drove us out to the end of the Cape.
The drive was about an hour and a half. The first half of it was due east. Then we turned north where the Cape curves and at last entered the town and found parking on the wharf.
There was a tourist bureau beside the parking lot, so we all got maps of the town. The part we were interested in was along Commercial Street, so we set out following that into town. The street was full of cars and trucks. It was one-way in the direction we were walking, but pedestrians had to be careful because obviously bike riders did not obey that rule. Once, when I stepped off the crowded curb into the street, I was nearly blindsided by a wrong-way bicycle. Fortunately, nobody was hurt.
Rupert and I observed very quickly that there were a number of single-sex couples holding hands as they walked, so we too held hands. It was the first time we’d been able to do it so openly and the first time anyone from our families had seen us.
We also observed that the town seemed to be dog friendly, and that many shops set out water for the dogs. We asked if we could pet some and were always assured that we could and that the dogs were very friendly. It was true.
We poked around in some funky little shops. We found a used bookstore, Tim’s, that had shelves and shelves of gay books. We each bought a couple. The clerk at the front of the store looked at us, smiled, and said “Welcome to town. Is this your first time here?”
“Yes, sir,” I said.
“Well, great. Enjoy yourselves.”
Before we left, we asked about informal places for lunch and he suggested a couple. We found one where we walked through a bar section and then outside to a deck with tables under big umbrellas and a nice view of the harbor.
After lunch we found a store which sold puzzles and games of all kinds. Rupert and I decided to buy jigsaw puzzles for our cottages, thinking they would be a good rainy-day activity.
At five o’clock, we met the others back at the van for the ride to the cottage.
Rupert said that next time he wanted to climb the tower which loomed over the town. “I bet it has a great view from the top,” he said.
When we got back to the cottages, we found that Nigel and Grandpa had gone to a ballgame. Rupert said that he might like to go sometime, so I told Grandpa when he got home.
Two nights later, Grandpa, Nigel, Rupert, and I went to the ballgame in Cotuit. When we first saw the field, I was amazed. It looked just like a professional one. Sitting in the stands near the field, we watched the game. Rupert and I compared impressions of the young men playing. There was one who made us both hard, and as we talked quietly about him, we giggled. At the end of the game, we were able to go onto the field and talk a little with the players. They were all college students and very friendly. On the way home, we agreed that we wanted to go again.
The puzzles were indeed welcomed on our first rainy day. Each puzzle had 1,000 pieces, so we only got a little done that day, but at least in my family, people often returned to the puzzle, putting in a piece or two at a time. By the end of the summer the puzzles were both done. On the day before we left for Preston, Rupert and I took them apart and traded them so each family would have a different puzzle to work on the next year.
Ashley, Nigel, and I realized that we had all grown fond of Grandpa Adrian. The tension between him and us was totally gone.
I rode home with the Gordons. Rupert and I again sat in the farthest back seats holding hands.
Back in school, Rupert and I were in eighth grade. We continued to spend a lot of time together. Some of it was even working on homework, but there was frequent recreation time as well.
When we graduated from high school, Rupert and I went to different colleges. Before we parted, we agreed that it was okay for us to find new partners, at least while we were in school.
Midway through my freshman year, I got an email from Rupert telling me about a boy he had met. While he didn’t say it outright, it was clear that he was again in love and he didn’t want me to be hurt.
I wrote back and told him I was happy for him. I said that I wasn’t hurt at all and that I was still looking.
It wasn’t until my junior year that I found Brian, the boy/man of my dreams. I didn’t say anything to Rupert at first, but, when Brian and I exchanged rings in the spring of the year, I emailed Rupert and told him I was very happy and that I finally knew what love was like. He wrote back saying that he was glad I had found someone I profoundly loved.
Brian was also from Massachusetts, and that summer I took Brian with me to the Cape, introducing him to the family. Grandpa said that he was very happy for us. He and my siblings, even Nigel, all gave us their blessings.
The Gordons were also there for the summer, so I met Rupert’s boyfriend, Paco, and I introduced him to Brian. One night the four of us went out to dinner, and throughout the evening, we bonded. From then on we met up every summer on the Cape.
We were fortunate to find jobs with a technology company for which we could do much of our work at home.
Brian and I decided to marry after we graduated. The wedding was on the Cape. We rented a big tent and many chairs. The tent was erected on the beach in front of our cottage. Our best men were of course Rupert and Paco.
After the wedding, Brian and I honeymooned in Provincetown, staying at a very nice B&B for ten wonderful, happy, days. We found a store in town that sold sex toys, and we invested in a couple. I may not have loved Rupert, but I was very fond of him and he taught me a lot about sex. Brian and I were very grateful.
We would have purchased a house in Provincetown but real estate costs were so high we couldn’t find anywhere we liked for under a million dollars. So we settled in a nearby town where the prices were still too high, but with my share of our trust fund, Brian and I managed.
We began a long and wonderful partnership, with much love and sharing of our lives.
Many, many thanks to AD and to those who edited this story.
Copyright © 2025 Alan Dwight
Posted 24 May 2025