I wish I could say I slept well that night, but I didn’t. My dreams made me restless.
In my dream, I was in the Russells’ pool with Mark, while Joey was at the far side swimming laps. Mark held me in a tight hug and gave me a long, firm kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth. As we embraced, there was a sudden splash at the other end of the pool, and Cormac was swimming towards us. He and Mark greeted each other like old friends, and soon they too were embracing and kissing. I grew very jealous. Mark was mine, and I didn’t want to share him with anybody.
As I was treading water, they swam to me and gripped me, bringing our naked bodies in a tight, three-way hug.
The sky, which had been clear, suddenly grew dark with swollen gray clouds. We broke our hug and headed toward the steps out of the pool. I called Joey to join us. Then, with no warning, there was a flash and an explosive crash. Cormac vanished.
I awoke with a start, sweating and crying.
What, I wondered, was that all about? I had dreamt of Mark nearly every night since he died in my arms, and I had never dreamt of Cormac. Why did I dream of them together? Was Cormac struck by the lightning? What was my mind trying to tell me?
I dried my tears and tried to go back to sleep, but from then on, I only dozed occasionally with weird thoughts running through my head. Images of the pool full of naked boys. Of Mark and me in the grass beside the patio, humping each other passionately, with Cormac watching.
By morning I felt I hadn’t rested at all.
Emotionally drained, I got up and went into the shower, trying to wake myself. I dressed without even thinking about what I was putting on. I went downstairs and sat silently at the table. When Christian asked if I was okay, I told him I hadn’t slept well.
I went to bed early that night, hoping to be free of any more nightmares. That was not to be. The dream from the night before seemed to be replaying itself. The only difference was that, when the lightning struck, Cormac screamed and flew out of the water, landing on the grass beside the pool.
Of course, in reality, if lightning struck while we were in the pool it was likely that we’d all be dead, but that’s not what happened in the dream.
Mark and I rushed to Cormac, who was lying face down on the grass whimpering.
Again, I awoke with a start and was unable to get back to sleep. In fact, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to sleep again.
As usual on Tuesdays, Cormac and I met after school. We went over some more of the information he needed to pass the citizenship test. When we finished, I told him that I’d had a dream with him in it. He blushed and said that sometimes I appeared in his dreams as well.
“In what way?” I asked.
Looking down at the table, he said, “I’d rather not tell you.” And as I tried to learn more, he was adamant. He would tell me nothing.
He left the room hastily and I made my way to a restroom near the library. As I was finishing relieving myself, the door flew open and two seniors, Scott Gavin and Phillip Warren, as well as Tyler, Phillip’s younger brother, came in. Both of the seniors were bigger than me.
“Well,” said Scott, “if it isn’t the school faggot.”
The two Warren boys laughed, and Phillip said, “Maybe we need to teach him that he’s not welcome here.”
“Good idea,” said Scott. “Grab him.” Phillip and Tyler seized my arms as Scott punched me in the stomach. I bent over, trying to breathe, and Scott said, “Hold him like that.”
Undoing my belt, he pulled down my trousers and my underpants, letting them drop to the floor.
Scott had Phillip and Tyler finish stripping me and drag me to a toilet, where he told them to push my head into the water. As I struggled, he flushed the toilet, soaking my head. Then he told them to drag me back into the room. He stood before me, lifted my chin with his left hand, and hit me in the face. I felt my nose crunch as blood began to pour out. He hit me again, this time in my left eye. I screamed, praying that someone would hear me and come to help.
Nobody came.
Scott threw me on the floor. He and Phillip kicked me a few times before they turned off the lights and the three of them left.
I lay in the dark, wondering if I’d be able to get up. I tried a couple of times but felt very dizzy. I lost consciousness.
When I regained consciousness, I lay there feeling both angry and very sorry for myself. I feared that perhaps nobody would find me until morning.
I don’t know how long I lay there, but suddenly the lights came on and a man said, “Holy shit!”
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m Major, one of the night custodians,” I heard. He bent over me and said, “I’m gonna call an ambulance.” He pulled out his phone and made the call.
While we waited for help to arrive, he asked, “Where are your clothes?”
“They must have taken them,” I said.
“Who is ‘They’?”
Now every schoolboy knows that you never rat out another student. It’s against the schoolboy code. And I knew that, if I named my assailants, they had friends, and in the end, I would regret it, so I said nothing.
There was a pounding on the outside door, and Major went to answer it. A few moments later, EMTs entered. One of them was a woman, but although I was naked, I never thought to be embarrassed. They checked me over, covered me with a sheet, loaded me onto a stretcher, and took me out to the ambulance. They were very gentle, but I still hurt like hell.
As we rode, the EMT in the back of the ambulance asked who she should contact. I gave her the information and she called, apparently talking with Christian.
At the hospital, I was taken into a curtained cubicle and loaded onto a gurney. Again, the pain seemed unbearable. A nurse came in and took my blood pressure, listened to my heart, and checked my temperature. A few moments later she was followed by a woman who said, “You seem to have taken quite a beating. Are you in pain?”
I nodded. I’m not embarrassed to say that I was crying again.
“I’m Doctor Wallace,” she said. “I’ll order a pain med for you right away. I’ll also order some X-rays and get someone to check your eye.” With that she left.
A few moments later, the nurse returned and gave me a shot. I don’t know what it was, but it seemed to take the edge off my pain.
As I lay waiting, another doctor came in. He examined my eye and shined a light in it.
“I don’t think there’s any permanent damage to your eye,” he said, “but you’ll have quite a shiner. I’m going to cover it for now, so the light won’t bother it.” He taped a gauze pad over my eye and left.
Next, an orderly came and wheeled me down to be X-rayed.
When I returned, Peter and Christian were there with a police officer. The cop asked me to tell him what happened. I did, without saying any names except for Major, my rescuer.
“Did you recognize who did this to you?” he asked.
Maybe I wasn’t thinking straight because of the pain killer, but I nodded.
“Tell me their names,” he said, taking out a pad and pen.
I looked at Christian and Peter and then said, “I can’t.”
“Why?” Peter asked.
“They have a lot of friends,” I said. “I won’t be safe if I tell.”
The cop persisted for some time, trying to convince me to tell, but I didn’t.
The doctor returned and the cop left.
“Well,” the doctor said, “you have several injuries. First, you have a concussion. Then there’s a broken nose, which we will set. You also have some broken ribs. We will tape them up and they’ll heal on their own. Fortunately, the ribs didn’t puncture your lungs. I’m going to keep you here for a few days, until the pain goes away and you begin to heal.”
She left, and only Christian and Peter remained.
“You have to tell the cops who did this,” said Peter as Christian nodded.
I loved them dearly, but right then I just wanted to be alone. I said nothing.
“We’ll talk more about this tomorrow,” said Christian.
The orderly returned and wheeled me out of the room. Riding up in the elevator, I wondered, “What did I do to deserve this?” I shifted my weight a little and immediately felt pain in my side.
I don’t know what floor we stopped on, but I remember being wheeled down a corridor. Since I was on my back, all I saw was an occasional overhead light. I was wheeled into a room and a couple of people shifted me onto a bed. A nurse brought a glass of water and a straw. As I sipped the water, she took what she called my vitals, inserted a needle with a tube into my arm, and said, “This will give you some pain medication that will help you rest.” She showed me a button to push if I needed help, and asked if I wanted the light on or off.
“Off, please,” I said.
As she left, she switched the light off and I lay in the darkness. I was so sad. I had been out at the school for a couple of years, and nobody had ever given me a problem about it. Then this happened. Why?
Fortunately, I was soon asleep, and while I woke occasionally in the night, I slept pretty soundly. Maybe it’s the pain meds, I thought, as I drifted off again.